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Dreams of Suicide

by Snoink


In my dreams of death
I stand on top a cliff
My eyes closed shut,
The wind willing me to jump.
But in the back of my mind
I wonder...

What is the potential energy I have
Standing here?


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Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:53 am
Li'l EMO wrote a review...



It's strange..
:S
I like it :)
The name caught my eye...
Typical emo girl :roll:
Hehe physics?
I don't get it :S
I'm not logical enough




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Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:00 pm
nightmask wrote a review...



I like how you made yourself seem so vulnerable. Did you really have a dream about suicide? I like how to gave the wind personification you made the poem sound even cooler by doing that. Overall it was short, but very well written :)




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Thu Aug 30, 2007 4:11 pm
-Save-Ferris- says...



I agree with everything good everyone else said xD

Great work (:




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Thu Aug 30, 2007 3:00 am
iQuippie says...



lmao! XD you're brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.




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Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:02 pm
xanthan gum wrote a review...



:) Amusing, and I liked how it showed the tie in to the backward haunting thoughts of your mind. I wish there weren't so many capitals, but the format make sense for the sake of adding an independently standing and important phrase.

Your latest poems are witty; you've found your simple style. But I'd like to see a bit more in the next effort.




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Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:37 pm
nightmarebook13 wrote a review...



Well written!! Great ending left suspense! Is the 2nd line suppose to end in anything?? Otherwise I think it was great... I have had dreams like that. :elephant:




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Sat Jun 30, 2007 2:20 am
Leja wrote a review...



*ugh, physics* Now that my dislike for physics is out of the way :D

The ending was great. I thought of it as a light ending, definately like something that would happen in a dream, but I can see how it could be a little sadder, if you so choose.

I read it at first (ignoring the punctuation for some strange reason) and wanted to put a period after "cliff" and make the next line the start of a new sentence. And then I went back and wondered how I could ignore punctuation in the first place. Just a thought if you're looking for something else to filter through your brain.




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Tue Jun 26, 2007 6:46 pm
Prokaryote says...



Haha, good twist on the emo poem. :D

It was funny. In an odd sort of way.

Prokaryote




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Tue Jun 26, 2007 6:17 pm
JustLaugh says...



*smiles*

I liked it, thats all i can say really. :)




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Mon Jun 25, 2007 4:59 am
Alice wrote a review...



Okay Snoink once again you've made me smile, but thats not good today (my face is sunburned)

I couldn't stop laughing when I read this, it just sounds like one of those things that I would write if I had any decent skill in poetry.

This is defiently a pick me up poem. :D




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Mon Jun 25, 2007 4:39 am
Alteran wrote a review...



I read it and got ot the edge of my seat than read the last part and felt like smacking my head against the desk.

A good thing :D

I like it. Surprise ending woot!




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Sun Jun 24, 2007 11:39 pm
Crysi wrote a review...



I laughed, at first, but then I realized that's actually a brilliant thought, too. Very clever combination. It could really go either way, you know? Potential energy turns into kinetic energy as the narrator jumps, but it could also be another way of saying, "What do I still have to contribute to the world?"

Maybe I'm overthinking it. XD Love it.




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Sun Jun 24, 2007 9:37 pm
Rydia wrote a review...



You have a brilliant sense of humour Snoink and, I think, a deep hatred of physics. If they combine to give this sort of poetry then you should be forced to go to class more often! Hehe. Anyway, I liked it a lot and physics just happens to be my least favourite subject.




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Thu May 24, 2007 4:21 pm
Fand says...



It's short, but I actually really like the concept. And, like everyone else said, I laughed out loud too. ^_^




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Wed May 23, 2007 3:55 am
Doctor Kitty says...



This made me laugh out loud. Very nice. Me likey.




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Sun May 13, 2007 5:04 am
Snoink says...



Thanks for spotting the typo! It was right when I wrote it down on paper, but alas! It didn't transcribe. :D

Yes... hehehe... too much physics. ;)




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Sat May 12, 2007 11:40 pm
oregongirl says...



I think that "wnd" was supposed to be wind. Make sure you profread your pieces. I like it very much!




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Sat May 12, 2007 10:09 pm
sworddance says...



ROFL someone has gone to physics class recently... That's great, amiga. I love it.




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Sat May 12, 2007 10:05 pm
Emerson says...



The wnd willing me to jump.
a typo, me thinks?

I liked the scientific ending to it. Twas cute. should the second line end in a period?





Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
— Pablo Picasso