KnightTeen

CHAPTER 1 FIRST TIME, LAST TIME 13 years later, 2178, Earth of Origin, New Singapore First off, you don't have to include the "Chapter One" thing/doohickey, since it's included in ...

First off, you say that you have uploaded this chapter already. I did not read the first upload, therefore I am entirely new to this work and have nothing to ...

First off let me say welcome to the site. Check out the forums for information on anything you need, I guarantee you it is there or will be there after ...

Don't worry, BN, we all know that we are fighting a losing battle with the cursed formatting. It's been out to get us for years, I would assume. I don't ...

Prologue It's already mentioned that this is the prologue in the title of the piece, you don't need to mention it twice. The only thing that I really have a ...

This is really good. I really see nothing to correct other than your lines. The formation is really good, you just need to separate the stanzas out. Haunted by my ...

Hey, HT here to review. Let's get down to business, shall we? Chapter One Since this is included in the title it makes no sense to have it in the ...

I like the plot concept that you have here. A lot of people say that their bodies are temples, and it's not very often that you see the other side ...

Hey, belated welcome to the site. HT here to review, and to kick your work outta the Green Room. First off, since the title of this work is "Unnamed Novel-Prologue," ...

Hey, HT here to review. First off I think that you should break this into stanzas, probably according to your grammar and the number of verses. Here's an example: We ...

Tee hee. Fresh meat. I love me some Amethyst. The first paragraph is a little long, I think that you should break it up into two or three smaller ones ...

This was pretty good. Like barefootrunner said, there is definitely less Harry Potter. Yay! No grammar errors as far as I can see, and I'm very intrigued as to where ...

They were at the last bus stop when Lestrade finally told Eli, "I don't think we're going to find her Eli." I don't think that you need to say, "Eli" ...

Hey, HT here to review. This was very beautiful, and wonderfully written. The only thing that I really have to mention is your lack of punctuation. I think that by ...

Yay! More stuff to review! I thought that the chapter is really good, and I think the Eli and Sheri are awesome. As always, however, I do have a few ...