Dreams
By the time we got to lunch I had been slightly cheered up. Even Celia’s snide mumblings couldn’t upset me.
“At least we know she can do something,” she said so that I could hear after one of her friends told her about what she’d missed in maths.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Leo asked, slightly angered.
“Nothing,” she said. “It’s just that she can do maths but she can’t do something as simple as a fear potion.”
“Celia,” Fey said as a sort of warning.
“What?” Celia protested. “I’m only saying what we’re all thinking.”
“She’s right,” Phoenix Parker appeared all of a sudden, taking his seat next to Fey. “Being good at subjects like maths isn’t going to help you much here.”
I chose to ignore him, grabbing my books and making my way out of the hall. Fey rushed to catch up to me.
“Don’t let them get to you,” she said.
“I’m fine,” I told her, eager to just get away from everything.
“Phoenix will accept you eventually,” she assured me.
I smiled at her before heading back to the dorms to ditch my books in my room so that I didn’t have to take them to flying class with me. I sat down on my bed for a moment and picked up a picture of my mum that I had on my bedside table and looked at it.
It’s all right, I told myself. I can get through this. This is nothing. Then I placed the picture back on the table and left the room. Slightly distracted by my thoughts still, I walked along the corridors to the main courtyard where Leo was waiting.
“I was worried you wouldn’t find it this easily,” he said, smiling at me like he always did. “I guess I had no reason to be worried.”
I smiled at him, even though I was in no mood for jokes. Gradually the courtyard filled up and the teacher arrived. I noticed quite quickly that everyone had a broom.
“Ok,” the teacher began. “Let’s start with a simple test to see how you’ve been getting on over the summer.” I wondered if I should interrupt her and ask what I should do. “I want you to fly around the clock tower,” she gestured to the large, grey brick tower that marked the centre of the school, “clockwise, and land back here as quickly as you can.”
Leo strode up to her. “Miss, we have a new student,” he told her.
She looked up, surprised at first, and smiled at me. “Of course. Miss Night.” Then she looked down at my hand. “Where’s your broom?”
“I don’t have one,” I told her.
“Oh. Didn’t your mother pass one on to you?” she asked.
“My mother doesn’t own any brooms.”
I could hear people snickering behind me. Yet again I was becoming the butt of everyone’s jokes.
Realisation bloomed on the teacher’s face. “Oh, of course,” she said. “Miss Chariot told me about you.” She pointed to a shed like building that was separate from the main school building. “In there you will find some brooms. Pick the one that you are drawn to.” She smiled at me then turned to the rest of the class.
“She doesn’t even have a broom,” Celia whispered behind me, giggling.
I walked off towards the building, forcing the tears back again. I opened the door onto a room that was filled to the brim with brooms. They hung from every wall and were strung up so that they hung from the ceiling. Some looked more expensive than others, their bristles all in place and their wood polished until it shone slightly. They were beautiful. I walked slowly around the room, stroking the handles of each broom I passed, and hoped that one of them would talk to me, tell me that it was the one for me. But none of them answered me. Not one broom seemed like the one for me. I walked over to the middle of the room and sat down with my legs crossed and my hands in my lap. Then I concentrated on the room, searching for some sought of glow or pulse that might be emanating from my broom.
“Come on,” I muttered. “One of you has got to be my broom.”
I closed my eyes. And blocked out everything but the room I was in and the brooms in it.
“GO!”
I jumped up, concentration blown away, and turned to see the entire class fly by at high speed on their brooms. The force they made as they flew by made me fall over. Phoenix Parker was at the front followed by Leo, Fey and Gemini, going at speeds that I thought for sure would knock them off of their brooms, but they moved through the sky with incredible grace. I ran over to the door just in time to see them rise up and disappear around the clock tower. I turned my head to follow them round. He saw me. His ice cold eyes locked onto mine and an arrogant smile spread across his face. Then he went round another building and disappeared from sight. Frustration surged up in side me. I turned away and went back to my spot in the middle of the room.
Phoenix Parker thought he was so great, so much better than me. He seemed to have decided from the moment he met me that he hated me and that meant that all the idiots who followed his orders hated me too. They were all looking down their noses at me, just because they were good at magic and I wasn’t. I had to do something. I had to make them realise that I wasn’t as weak and stupid as they thought I was. And you can help with that. I could sense it now. My broom was responding to my thoughts, but it was too distant for me to tell where it was. I concentrated on the presence that had responded to me, willing it to come towards me, but the more I willed it to respond the further away the presence got. I kept trying until I was screaming at the glow in my head to show itself but nothing happened.
“How is it?” the teacher asked from the door way. “Have you found one?”
I shook my head and dropped my eyes to the floor. She moved into the room.
“You’ll find it,” she assured me.
By now the presence that I had sensed before was gone completely. The teacher went back outside. I turned to look out of the open door just in time to see Phoenix Parker land right outside it.
“Well done Phoenix,” the teacher praised him. “Another brilliant time.”
Leo landed soon afterwards, followed by Gemini and Fey. They all landed with perfect grace even though they were going at top speed right up to the last moment. Leo saw me immediately and gave me a reassuring smile. Fey followed his gaze to me and smiled one of those distant, calm smiles that only she could manage. Then Phoenix Parker followed her gaze to me and his face formed into a scowl. I, regrettably, averted my gaze first and went back to searching for my broom.
“How’s the broom search going?” Leo asked, walking into the room.
“Not well,” I said dismissively.
I’m not sure how long I sat there for but I didn’t find the broom.
“I’m sure it’ll reveal itself to you eventually,” Fey assured me, sitting on the end of her bed.
“I hope so,” I said.
“You just have to focus on opening your mind to it. If you reveal your thoughts and your magic the broom that matches you will eventually respond.” She took my hand. “Just let your magic flow.”
She made it sound so simple but I doubted it would be easy for me. She stood up and went to the door.
“I need to go out for a bit,” she explained. Then she opened the door and left.
I stood there for a while just staring down at my hand. Then I grabbed one of my hoodies, wrapped it around myself and left the room. I practically ran along the corridors, slightly surprised that I actually knew the way, until I finally reached the courtyard. I opened the door to that shed and sat in the middle of the floor, concentrating on letting my magic flow out around me.
“I know I’m not strong,” I said. “In fact so far I’ve been pretty bad at the magical subjects and I know that most people know they are a witch or wizard at a young age. I know that I don’t fit in and I have no idea where you’d even start learning how to fly. However, I won’t be able to even start without a broom and I promise I won’t give up until I can do it, so please, wherever you are, let me see you.” I closed my eyes and imagined what it would feel like to let my magic fly around the room. “Please. I would like to meet you, I think.”
There was a slight sense of the same presence as before in the room. I could feel it there, as if it was watching me, but it never moved close enough to give any clue as to where it was. I sat in that room for what seemed like hours, until it became dark outside and I was sure that I had missed dinner. I didn’t even care that the broom didn’t show itself or that I was cold, I just sat there letting all my thoughts float around me. By the time I finally left the room I could feel the presence permanently with me, floating out there somewhere in the distance. I went back to my room; Fey was already asleep so I climbed into bed and closed my eyes, letting myself drift off to sleep.
The warm glow of a single lamp and a couple of candles filled a room with panelled walls and red carpet. There were four arm chairs positioned around a table, each with someone sat in them; I recognised one of them as Miss Chariot.
“Are you sure it’s her?” one of the others asked.
“It couldn’t be anyone else,” Miss Chariot said.
I looked across the other faces. One was a woman in her late forties or early fifties with short, curly, brown hair and sharp, stern features that seemed only capable of displaying serious emotions. Another was an older man, in his fifties, with hair that was once brown but had silvered slightly with age and dimples, probably from smiling a lot. The last was a man who was younger but hadn’t aged quite as well. His face was worn with wrinkles, mostly along his furrowed brow line, and there were dark circles under his eyes; it was Mr Keats. This was the man who had spoken and now was speaking again.
“How can you be so sure?” he asked.
“Her eyes,” she said. “How many people do you know that have purple eyes?”
That’s when I realised they were talking about me. I had always been pretty ordinary looking, with pale skin, rounded features and mousy brown hair, but there was one thing about my appearance that was unique – my eyes were deep purple.
“Well, what do we do now?” the older man asked.
“Well...I think we should let her settle in,” Miss Chariot began.
“But we have her now,” Mr Keats interrupted. “We need to strike already. We’ve waited long enough.”
“We cannot rush things,” the other woman said. Her voice was deep and her words clipped. “She is a child. Give her time.”
Before I could confirm that they were definitely talking about me I was pulled out of the room into pitch black darkness. Then I opened my eyes.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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This was pretty good. Like barefootrunner said, there is definitely less Harry Potter.
Yay!
No grammar errors as far as I can see, and I'm very intrigued as to where the plot is going.
I'm very curious about the strange presence she sensed. I'd ask you about it, but I'm sure you would only tell me that I will find out in the next few chapters.
And I can't wait.
Nothing I can see that I can suggest you change. I feel a little sad. I like making suggestions. But this is a good change.
Peace,
HT
Thanks. ^-^
Hi there! Great to see this moving on
I've been looking forward to it!
Okay, so my first thought was that this is slightly less Harry Potter and way more Amethyst Night than before! That is exactly what I'm looking for! *very excited squeak*
Right, so though the broom thing is perhaps borrowed from Hogwarts, you've made it your own and added that delicious spice of extra difficulty that just makes your character's struggles all the more interesting! Great job—I'm really impressed.
You have a couple of spelling errors:
clew ==> clue.
nock ==> knock.
Then I'd also like some clarification of the ending. Was she dreaming all this time? Or why were her eyes closed? In that case, what was a dream and what was the reality?
Great job, Amethyst! Very impressive! Please PM me when you write the next chapter! I look forward to seeing it
barefootrunner
Thank you for the feedback. It's been really helpful. I have focussed on trying to get rid of the links to Harry Potter. After the advice I got, I rewrote large sections of the previous chapters to try and fix these issues. I 'm glad that you are enjoying my writing and I'll be sure to send you a message when I upload the next chapter - I just need to earn enough points to upload it.
You're welcome
YAY! More Amethyst!
Now that the initial fun is over, let's get down to business. I quoted the whole piece, then cut out what I didn't need to mention.
And what exactly does, "someone took you for a mug," mean?
Sorry if I seemed a little abrupt, I just want to get that out of the way. Secondly, didn't you already post this chapter?
Anyway, cant wait to continue reading.
Peace,
HT
Firstly, thank you for the feedback - I shall make some of the changes. Secondly, some of the spellings you've picked up on are actually correct because I have used the English spellings as apposed to American spellings. And lastly, oops, you're right. I have already posted this chapter. I shall immediately change it to chapter 5.
I guess I have to brush up on my English spelling then. Sorry about that.