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Re: Shadows of the Night
Hello, How you have your poem set up in nice with the four lines per stands and the length between lines is nice as well. Your word choice is great ...
Jan 8, 2017 -
Re: Feeling
Hello, First off I love your author's note at the end of this! Its very cool to see the before and after from the first draft to the final piece. ...
Jan 8, 2017 -
Re: Chapter 1 // Not everything is black and white
Hello, Don't apologize about your chapter length, chapters are the length they are and there is nothing you can do about it, plus I like shorter chapters better. This chapter ...
Jan 8, 2017 -
Re: Satisfied
Hello, Wow, this is heartbreaking in a good way. I feel the pain behind the poem such as unreachable love, knowing how bad your mistakes where, and the pain of ...
Jan 4, 2017 -
Re: Deleted 75
Hello, This is beautiful! How you expressed the feeling of love and freedom to longing and wondering is wonderful and the flow between lines is different but it works for ...
Jan 4, 2017 -
Re: matters of the heart
Hello, The way you have your poem set up helps your flow but helping to guide the readers eye through the poem. Your word choice is great and your theme ...
Dec 31, 2016 -
Re: Imperfectly Beautiful
Hello, This is beautiful and thought provoking. I love it. Your flow, word choice and theme are done and executed wonderfully. The way you set it up allows for certain ...
Dec 31, 2016 -
Re: Into the Glass
Hello, I love your poem. The way you set up your poem is very different but it works. I see the pawn pieces following their queen ready for battle and ...
Dec 31, 2016 -
Re: (old) Atana: Chapter 7
Hello, I like this. Your characters are relatable and easy to connect with. This chapter was not bad, I can see a plot line without reading the rest of the ...
Dec 29, 2016 -
Re: Invisible butterflies
Hello, Looking at everything that goes into a poem, such as flow, word choice and theme, everything it great! Your poem makes me feel like a little kids who is ...
Dec 29, 2016 -
Re: it is well, it is well, with my soul
Hello The repetition you use throughout the poem is a nice way to get your point across to the reader since we as humans are more likely to remember something ...
Dec 27, 2016 -
Re: My Sweet Fantasy
Hello I felt like I was reading more of a short story then a poem. There was nothing for the reader to dig deeper for because everything was spelled out ...
Dec 27, 2016 -
Re: The cracks between your fingers
Hello, Alright. Your flow is rather nice. You don't use rhyming but there is something else that guides the reader through the story on their own. Your word choice is ...
Dec 27, 2016 -
Re: Hanging Tree's Lament
Hello, The way you have your poem set up I think takes away from your flow due to the readers eyes have to go all over the place as well ...
Dec 27, 2016 -
Re: Away--Chapter 1
Hello, This is a great start to a story! You keep you tense the same thought this chapter which is great and it is not hard to follow. Your main ...
Dec 27, 2016
