Hey Giselle97. here for a Review Day review,
Positives:Dealing with topic and nature of your poem, the entire thing has this sort of ebbing and flowing feeling that rises in the middle, then falls back down there at the end. Befitting of what you've decided to write about. The text itself even seems longer in the middle section and shorter at the two ends.
Negatives:I would agree with the two other reviewers below, the entire piece just seems like a short story with all of the sentences re-pasted to look like a poem. The writing style itself doesn't really resemble a poem at all, and there's not that advanced feel about thins. There's nothing to really grasp onto and think deeply about, and there's no real flow of language. It's just there.
Looking at it from strictly a writing stand point, we also find that it's kind of the same. It's nothing terrible, by any means, but it's just simple...there. It just exists, but I may not be exactly sure why.
Overall:I feel like you've started a thought or an idea here, but never actually went through with it. A bit more attention to the finer details of writing, especially poetry, will help you to turn this into something.
I give it:
Points: 6987
Reviews: 117
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