KatGirl

Unconsoled: tell him it's not pedophile enough. he'll freak out. This is terrible. :-) Uhmmm, it sounds like this poem is somebody texting and that their spelling corrector is broken.. ...

The structure of this poem is very confusing. To be honest, I didn't even know how to read it. For example,: The only way to you is to tightrope the ...

The flow is fine, no problem with that. I enjoy how descriptive it is, but I don't think it's a story really meant for me that I'd read irl. I'm ...

I noticed that you separated sentences too much when they really should be connected. However, I do like how descriptive you are. The chains rattled as I groaned slightly. My ...

Three hours later[,] we enter a rocky defile. I examine it thoroughly. I am a little worried by the total silence that seems to permeate the entire area. I guess ...

I enjoyed this story, it does portray a part of normal, annoying, school. See I'm not exactly the smartest person in the world. I feel like the word "see" is ...

They said I passed out after I crawled out of the burning house, they thought they knew, those dirty little liars, who said everything is going to be okay, everyone ...

Good: First of all, I love the name Foxglove. The emotions in this story seems real instead of cliché like some other works. I also like how it first started ...

I felt like this was way too short. It also seemed way too much alike as the actual series (assuming this is a fanfic). It felt way too fast, like ...

I loved how descriptive this (poem?) was. If somebody read it to me aloud, I'd be able to picture the scene in my mind. The meaning was exceptional and strong ...

If ce could have avoided Madame Fangwei for the rest of cer life, ce would've dealt with her too much. Ce gripped the edge of the bed and leaned over ...

What I've noticed the most is that some of your sentences sound weird because they aren't connected and that they are a similar idea. I suggest using better word choice, ...

Hey! I noticed your comment at not being good at grammar. That's ok though, I can help! (This is the corrected version.) I look around, and they stare with blank ...

I'm going to be straightforward-this wasn't humorous to me. It was dull. Ha ha! It got you! Perhaps you should replace "got" with stung? Oh, and what now? It sounds ...

On a snowy afternoon, Chelsea Andrews was strutting around in a chic mall searching for a new bathing suit. Her dad got a job offer and they were going to ...