JayShay

Hello! Alrighty, from the beginning, you have a pro-in-progress style, meaning I can see you as a pro writer if you can push yourself a little more. Here's something you ...

Anthlers should be antlers. Other than that... That was amazing. It is extraordinarily well written and has a great cast of characters and emotions. I need to see more! You ...

I love this poem, normally I am not one for love poems (that's a lie, I like them just fine, lol) I love how you describe how that one person ...

Nice. I hope you were giving the Sun a voice instead of saying you're like the Sun because this makes you appear full of yourself, lol. I kid around but ...

I love how you allow us to see the story, I love the message it portrays to people to swim to avoid being like everyone else, I hate conforming in ...

Wow, this is genius. I love the style of how each line is, how you change it, and I can really see the imagery you planted here, I can see ...

This piece shows true skill, metaphors galore. Obviously it could be better, but name something that couldn't use editing. I love what it says about life, it really hits it ...

What Lycando says makes a lot of sense, Shadow and Dark are far overused, it's crazy. I love the action and it leaves a lot of mystery that makes me ...

Right off the bat I love the repetition. Why? Repetition is catchy, Repetition is catchy, Repetition is catchy, lol Anyways, I love how the presentings are opposites to the receivings. ...

I love this poem, honestly, I like the imagery it gives and I love the similes like "makes my fingers feel like they're covered in velvet" this is good work. ...

I'm going to be honest here, you used a lot of words for breaking, including shattering twice and you switched around metaphors a lot which gets very distracting and very ...

I have regretted my own life for years. I hated myself because people have brought me down like an anchor in quicksand. I have long wanted to die but for ...

A powerul message. This speaks among high levels and it is one of the very reasons I despise war. Because although someone is brought home physically from the tradgeties of ...

I like where this story is going and I would love to read more, but here is where the honesty kicks in full. You are missing major and minor details. ...

I have mixed feelings about this piece of work. Forstarters I like your wording. Though you could use work on the line containing emptiness. There are better words that would ...