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Re: Please, just stop
I really think you should continue this, please please please? Grammatically, I think everything is alright. But I think you need to right more about what led up to these ...
Mar 20, 2011 -
Re: Drown- Prologue
Wow. This is really great. I want to keep reading, I found it exciting and I want to find the next part and just read it. I'm not going to ...
Jun 28, 2010 -
Re: Things I Carry Inside Me
Ok, I'm pretty sure everyone else has already mentioned this, but, please, please, please, get rid of all the "I carry" lines. The repetition is actually annoying to read, besides ...
Jun 28, 2010 -
Re: Romeo and Juliet a Twist in the Story
This is great! I always love love stories, they have a certain place in my heart as a thirteen yesar old girl. :D Overall, this is a well written piece. ...
Mar 2, 2010 -
Re: Silent Chaos
Ah, nitpicking. A great hobby to have. [quote]The explosion happened at mid-day. [/quote] Get rid of "at". Its just an extra word, and makes the sentance longer than it should ...
Sep 4, 2009 -
Re: Family Kidnapped By Ninjas--Need Ransom
I like this very much. It had a nice flow, the man himself is very believable. I actually saw someone holding a sign similar to that one. If you're submitting ...
Sep 3, 2009 -
Re: The (True) Story of Hansel and Gretel : Intro
I liked it. Seems like the back cover of a book. Please write more! The idea is (Hansel and Gretel, candy making witch) not original, although the twist you're putting ...
Sep 3, 2009 -
Re: Let Me Love You
I LOVE this. Characters: Well, can't say much about Isabella. Duh. jay: Seems very well-rounded. But for some reason, he needs short, blonde hair and a goatee. Don't ask me ...
May 6, 2009 -
Re: Flying
I liked this. Everything seemed perrfectly fine to me =) Just fix the nitpicks I'm too lazy to point out and everyone else already did, and you'll be fine. Ohh, ...
May 6, 2009 -
Re: It only gets worse - chapter 1 - adapted :)
Overall: Very good. Nice emotions and realistic dialouge. Characters: I got confused alot on who was who. Please add Liam whispered or Annie flipped her dark hair over should and ...
May 6, 2009 -
Re: Always by your side
This is really, well written. For some reason I was painted the picture that you love your best friend, who's a guy? Or maybe that's just me, and my life. ...
Apr 28, 2009 -
Re: Do I love him?
To me, it really seems like your forcing the rhythm and rymthing. Also, to me, the line "Does He Love?" makes no sense to me at all whatsoever. Also, you ...
Apr 28, 2009 -
Re: After and What's Left (Box-Full Of Toys).
Flawless. Completely flawless. I love it. Completely. I could never write this well. Ever. Biker Mice from Mars. Sounds like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... Or maybe that was just me. ...
Feb 6, 2009 -
Re: STUCK IN REHABILITATION !
Well, since I'm totally unorginal, I'll say this: Commas rocks your socks. Add some. Or the evil cat will get you. Onto spelling: You were my bestfriend You forgot the ...
Feb 6, 2009 -
Re: An Ode to Google
That was most defintaly the most random poem. Ever. I started cracking up. Really, I did. It proved I have no life what so ever. Anyway, great poem! I don't ...
Jan 16, 2009
