Fizz

Hey :) This is a massive topic that you've taken on. I think it needs to be fleshed out considerably. First of all, those words would have hurt, but tell ...

Hey! Great topic (I might be slightly biased) There are just a couple of style issues I have here. I have to agree that the emphasis on 'just' has to ...

I seriously thought I wasn't going to like this from the first few lines, and then it turned out to be really good. It's very sophisticated in the way that ...

This is fantastic. Really good. It's properly funny. The weakest point in the whole is number 9, 'I wore a blue shirt to the Altadena Walmart and wished I hadn’t.' ...

I like the theme here, there are some great ideas. I think this big block of text, and the consistent repeat of 'How do I stand' actually starts to become ...

Love it. Absolutely love it. The strings metaphor is fantastic. It works. That parting line is just perfect. It's very good. I don't have too many things to say, other ...

Hey :) This is nice, very simple. There are just a couple of things I wanted to say, in no particular order. 'Every student has the chance and the means ...

Not bad stuff. My first and foremost problem is not related to your writing, but to your derogative and belittling referral to a woman. Not cool. But that's your problem. ...

Nice rhythm, very sophisticated, especially in the last few lines there. One big issue here, is punctuation. You have to use it. Without it, poetry doesn't make any sense. It ...

Hey :) Just saw that you're new-ish, and you've already done so many reviews! I thought I would return the favour. I like this, your characterisation of a mirror is ...

This is probably the cutest thing I have ever read. It's really nice. 'I'm honestly not sure what to write' don't say that, you have so much to write, and ...

Really quickly, some typos 'Exercise is and should be treated as an integral part of our everyday lives' Needs commas, 'Exercise is, and should be, treated...' 'That's more effective way ...

Hey :) Short and simple, I like it. One big thing for me is rhyming (I'm famously averse to it). Here you have a pretty solid rhyme in your first ...

I think you should include 'Red Fizz's favourite colour' :) This is a neat concept, a premise that seems so small but is actually huge. You've made something big out ...

WOAH Hold on. This is a whole story, not a chapter. From the very beginning I was overwhelmed. I think the title is too long. Maybe you could shorten it ...