Red
A primary color to additive systems,
But a tertiary color to subtractive systems.
Accompanied by yellow and green in the additive system,
And accompanied by none in the subtractive systems.
Red
The underlying color of the flame.
Slightly hotter than orange flame,
And slightly cooler than purple flame.
However, much hotter than yellow flame,
And much cooler than blue flame.
Red
Of significance to the United States flag.
Represents the hardiness and valour of American soldiers.
In said flag, it is accompanied by two other colors:
White, to signify purity and innocence;
And blue, to signify vigilance, perseverance, and justice.
Red
You see it every day:
In apparel;
In rosa;
In rare steaks;
In human vitality,
In blood.
Red
An oil spill from wounds;
A flood which seeps from corpses;
The most vital element of our sentience,
Gone to waste due to…
What?
Red
What do murderers love to see most?
And what about those trapped in asylums?
Some bang their heads on walls,
And get put into padded cells.
Red
It can mean so many things.
Its meaning can go from logical,
It can go to bright and hopeful,
And it can go to dark and depressing:
All in one, simple color.
Red
It cakes the walls of my asylum.
It pours from the corpses of my enemies.
It fills my mind, it’s all I can think about.
Red
It’s the color of the flames that await me
Deep in the bowels of hell.
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127,114 Literary Works • 672,943 Reviews
Wooahhh, even tho I've already read this, I can't help but think these are one of those poems that just gives you a lightbulb moment.
I really like how it starts off simple and "innocent" (if you get my drift), but it gradually and gradually gets darker, and eventually concludes why it's dark and depressing. I really like how you transitioned with the poems using a potent and unique choice of words! : ^ )
the poem begins with a genral note where you describe the fuctions and objects of red color. but as the climax comes we are unpredictably told about the main theme dedicated to the mentals in asylum and murderers in lockups or some even out of lockup. the murderers love to see red inside others while mentals do it with themselves. then at the end u remind them of the red flame of hell which the murdering guys have toface as well as the suicide commiting mentals have to face.
This is mostly correct, however I'm not too sure what you mean about the "unpredictable" part and how that is the main theme. It revolved around the color red and its uses, where you see it, and the like, however the end was bold only because I wanted it to seem more ominous.
I liked the poem all over how it develop's how it grew's more angry.
The thing I noticed in this poem was as if the narrator slowly developed rage towards the waste of humans.
The last sentences in bold were intriguing and how it had a horror vibe.
And also I love the patriotism the writer has to his country which was great ☺
Sorry for the extremely late reply, I've been off this summer so I haven't looked at this much.
You noticed exactly what I wanted to emphasize, which is awesome. Thanks for the feedback.
This would have to be one of my favorite poems on YWS.
I think you should include
'Red
Fizz's favourite colour'
This is a neat concept, a premise that seems so small but is actually huge. You've made something big out of a small subject, if that makes more sense.
I do think there are some clumsy moments here.
'In said flag, it is accompanied by two other colors:'
Is there another way you could write this? In said flag makes it sound like an essay, and it doesn't fit in with the way you'd been writing.
I don't like the big repetition of 'flame'. Creating a pattern and then breaking it one stanza later is confusing.
And then at the end there everything gets really intense very suddenly. Maybe you could work some more darkness in the poem earlier? Give it a sense of direction.
But really, I liked it. I really did. Well done
Lots of late replies from me today, I apologize for that. I've been off since summer started.
About the flag statement, I do agree on that, however I'm not sure of any other way to put it to keep it in the formal aspect of that stanza.
I don't know where you got the repetition of flame there, although there was one stanza ending in strictly the word "flame". However, other than that, there was no repetition of it. It was a pattern of that stanza that I wanted there and nowhere else, to give each stanza its own focus point.
I did want to make the poem seem like it progressively got more and more dark and creepy, and I feel like I did that effectively. The first sign of darkness in this poem is the murderers aspect, which was following where you see red, in blood, hinting at what would follow. At the end I wanted it to seem very sudden, but not sudden enough that you couldn't predict what might end up happening.
Overall, thanks for the feedback. It's really appreciated.
*facepalm* I forgot to press review. Sorry about that!
Tis cool, my friend.
Hello Spychicken56,
)
I am here to review the poem; which is awesome by the way. I have to admit that I'm not good at finding mistakes in someone's writing, and I don't see any in this one. But I do love red, because it is my favorite color. So that, I do know about!
I like the idea of this poem. You didn't write it specifically about "blood", which I find very cool; you wrote about the very color itself. (And when you spoke about rare steak, you made me hungry! I like my medium rare but still; now I'm hungry.
This is my favorite stanza. I love how you incorporated sadness, happiness, and hope, all into one color:
"Red
It can mean so many things.
Its meaning can go from logical,
It can go to bright and hopeful,
And it can go to dark and depressing:
All in one, simple color."
"Red" is a job well done. I really liked it, and I can't wait to see more of your work!
~Rose
Another super late reply on my part, and apologies for that, but thanks for the feedback. I haven't really been on here much since the Summer started, I just got back on today so I'll be posting some more stuff. Not sure how much poetry I'll be doing, but nonetheless, there is more to come.
So, this poem is actually pretty cool. I've never really thought of how red is associated with so much. When I read the description of this piece I was like, "Okay, this should be interesting." Then I started reading and I was like, "Okay, this is actually pretty cool." And it was pretty awesome.
I guess that this piece is pretty straight forward, but at the same time a little mysterious. Like I don't know whether to call this a depressing piece or a normal poem. I don't know whether it's how you feel or just a poem in a random persons opinion. I think that the fact that it's so mysterious and open ended it makes it more interesting and amusing to read.
You are really good at captivating your audience and hooking them into it. The title did it for me. The title 'Red' can have so much meaning behind it, and I think this poem proved that. I like the way you describe all these things that red is apart of in the beginning and then turning those descriptions into an interesting story.
I loved the layout of the poem and how it kept getting more and more in depth as it went on. It was super cool, and I think that it takes major to do that.
Keep writing bro.
~#41
Super late reply, I haven't been on here in forever, but thanks for the feedback. You totally got exactly what I aimed for.
I attempted to include stanzas, however, it did not work. In order to read this properly, each stanza begins when a line includes the word "Red", and only the word "Red".