Emerson

It's a cute idea, but there are some things that could be fixed up. Boys as disgusting as a dead bird Boys are plural, so "bird" should be plural. They ...

Abstract poetry, like you always seem to do :? , goes up and over me. But the punctuation looks good! *smirks* it was nice, but I understood nothing. And its ...

I don't really have any comments on the subject, just on the format and some lines. The Lego bricks tumble and fall, The men [comma, or colon. Your choice.] they ...

; it’s a loop diuretic I'm just checking. Is that a typo? Jonathon looked up and hated himself in this moment like he had for the past ten years. I ...

Alright! Rested and ready I'm here! I'd have to say I liked it, one or two things I have to pick about but otherwise I liked it. Your lines aren't ...

The female voice boomed over the intercom. Female voices are too gentle to boom. Unless she's manly. (I felt like making a joke, the actual comment is arbitrary) Yeah, no ...

I know all I'm doing at this point is complimenting. Oh well, deal. ]“He’s twenty minutes late.” Jonathon nodded. “Would you like a cup of coffee or some tea?” I ...

I really like the idea you have, its cute and could turn into something great. I'll ignore punctuation because you said yourself its not your thing, and i don't know ...

yay #7! Kyle gave an innocent shrug and mouthed an apology. I had to point this out, because I liked it so much. The fact that you say he mouthed ...

Though I hate pushing myself into critique-driven arguments, I find myself writing a reply... No, it was not the worst thing I have ever read but I sit in agreement ...

I am actually fond of the last line; It's meaningful to the overall poem. And I feel weird, because I thought of Chionophobia while reading it. Which is probably out ...

Try saying something other than 'Kyle' because his name becomes very noticeable and repeated by the third paragraph. Maybe its the fact that I'm staring at it a little harder, ...

Your tenses are kind of screwed up here and there. You start out in present, then (in the second paragraph) try to be in past, but still have a hint ...

I liked it but then again, I didn't like it. I liked how you led us through the scientific what-ever-that-is and it had narration to it. I didn't like the ...

The religious pendant around his neck grew heavy with exhaustion. this sentence makes me think that the pendant was exhausted, not him. (And I assume he's the exhausted one..right?) But, ...