Emerson

*cough* This doesn't seem like much of a serious post, so I won't take too long to critique it. 1. Don't show us your rubbish, why should we waste time ...

Some lines need to be looked at, commas and general punctuation should be taken into consideration. It kind of all flows together in spots. One that Mad didn't point out: ...

Despite its almost list-like qualities, something about it brought me into it. I suppose because the way you write it, I could have been the main character. I only have ...

It took three hours to trek over the graveyard, to read the inscriptions and keep moving, another two to drive back to town. Something in this sentence sounds so wrong. ...

It really is beautiful. You have a lovely knack for word choice. But it's all too obvious lack of punctuation makes me want to strangle it—you don't even have commas ...

I liked it. I love the relation of caterpillars and cocoons to a notebook, perhaps butterflies should be added as well, for beauty? I think in the first line it ...

I agree with adding some punctuation, I think a colon should be placed after "Invisibility". I didn't mind the repetition of Invisibility, but "The cloak of humility" did get to ...

No, sorry dear, I didn't read it :-) But I thought I would suggest something for you. But yes where are the puntuations? She's right, you really should punctuate your ...

Okay, erm, first off, don't "bump" your threads or beg for replies, it will only get you a better chance of being ignored. like ofour said, you need a comma ...

Some of it should be fixed up... You over used commas, to the max. Look at it as sentences, and punctuation it. ( Poetry & Punctuation ) Some lines just ...

The one major thing the was obstructing my enjoyment was the punctuation. wowie, like commas, eh? Are those memories as close to you, [nothing] As they are to me, [?] ...

Though it was rather... high strung with emotions, the way it was short and the way it flowed captured me. Some lines I didn't like, but... over all, it was ...

You didn't capitalize anything, and it was barely punctuated, making this...not even a real sentence, or one full sentence maybe. You should fix that; just because it is a poem ...

The alliteration of C in the first verse, and then P in the second was so cute, and would have gone off better had there been a rhythm. And then ...

The joy of being alone, and watching the others on my own. Sometimes people stare, every now and then someone asks me to come over there. But, usually I sit ...