Emerson

Tres bien mlle JC . I only have one question: why was Tammy going to see Jaime to begin with? Was it to ask again if she would speak? Because ...

Her heart speed sped, is the past tense of 'to speed' so... sped. It's sweet to see the nurse being nicer to her. I'm having a problem with your chapters: ...

Her once silky [comma] ink black hair add a hyphen between "ink" and "black" ig: ink-black. She didn't meet her mom on the way out of the house, it was ...

She was mad, upset, sad, and every emotion in between. Ah, the wonder of telling emotion. Can I quote from a book I'm currently reading...? How does [so-and-so] succeed in ...

I wish the right answer were that easy to find, your subject [answer] is singular where your verb [were] is plural. Fix. This was an OK chapter. Her big speech ...

It was too abstract for my taste. I assume the lack of punctuation was with purpose, but it doesn't suit me. I didn't get any emotions, and instead ended up ...

I love the theme of electricity. I'm curious as to how the title fits in though? My favorite line was a web of dead wires" the W sound is a ...

I second Pushca in everything. This story had no conflict, it was more like an exorcise written about a moment. Stories should have problems, conflicts, and reasons for us to ...

This was really enjoyable =D I only have a few comments. The first few paragraphs to the second part (the first three) were info dumping, and all that could be ...

he he supplies marijuana Typo When he arrives home to his camper van, and sees his parents sitting in their broken chairs and sees his parents wearing their tattered clothing, ...

The beginning is odd. But it's you. So... Yeah. I liked it, I guess. It's kind of one of those things that you read because it is good, not because ...

I really liked this. My only suggestion (as I can't think of anything else, or any problem I have with it) is that I think it would look smoother if ...

I liked it, but I think it needs something added to it. I can only guess at what you were writing about, which disappointed me a little. It was good, ...

I felt like, at the beginning, you just went to Rhyme Zone and used everything you could that rhymed with "tree". You have no rhyme scheme--and yet you rhyme? Rhyming ...

Didn't really do much for me? I'm confused to why you have a whole paragraph before hand and then "fade into" a poem, so to speak. The poem had some ...