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Re: Life
What is life,( You need a question mark to give this energy) A last regret, An open book, A friend recently met. A rising sun, A darkened moon, A battle ...
May 21, 2008 -
Re: Bubbling, chapter 3
Hey, D! I don't have much time so this will be as good as I can. Ok, a few things here. 1. Grammer, Punctuation. There's a few mistakes in this ...
May 20, 2008 -
Re: Love Sea
Heya, I'm pretty good at reading poetry so I'll take a look for you. "Love Sea" I feel so lost at his gaze Tears started to run down my face. ...
May 20, 2008 -
Re: The Sun's Eye
I agree with Gahks and Vernon. You have a loosely bound poem around the theme of (life?) protrayed through a well-worn image of walking through a forest. I want to ...
May 20, 2008 -
Re: Cold love
Hey, I think I've reviewed some of your other works? I see real potiental in them. But, a writer's work is never done haha, there are a few areas for ...
May 20, 2008 -
Re: lost love
This was quite good. Real potiental. I'll just try and focus on the things that I thought brought it down. 1. The title- 'Last Kiss'. I think the piece is ...
May 20, 2008 -
Re: Don't Act All Hurt/Don't Be Silly
Ah- the great poet from earlier! Well, well, well, on a creative up at moment? This was quite good, not mind blowing or very serious, but it was quite realistic ...
May 19, 2008 -
Re: Echoes
Hey CK, how're things? I often feel crits are very inpersonal. So hello! Ok, here goes.. Somewhere from a forgotten corner, (* All your lines open with capitals, change this) ...
May 19, 2008 -
Re: Do not Enter
DO NOT ENTER I warn you, beware You’re entering the room of a teenage girl Her private domain, her forbidden lair (full stop!) If you come in unannounced She will ...
May 19, 2008 -
Re: Worthy of Love
Commando588- this is a very hard piece to read. Not just because of the odd structure, but that there are too many ideas left unsolved in the first part to ...
May 19, 2008 -
Re: Things Seen In Cab-Ride #276
Whoa Icaruss - this is really very raw and graphic. You've won a gold star already by sheer nerve, I've never read a piece like this. Am I right in ...
May 19, 2008 -
Re: Love and Sin
This is actually very good- sorry, I sounded surprised. But it was great in my opinion, and it seems like you put a lot of hard work and thought into ...
May 19, 2008 -
Re: How the Silver Wears
This is very strong, very strong indeed. It seems like your poetry always has a solid backbone..if you understand? It's not all airy-fairy. It's real. It's raw. So I loved ...
May 19, 2008 -
Re: Ms. Apt Diagnosis
Wow- sorry but I can't think of a better word to describe how I feel about reading this, (ironically, there is a word for that situation which escapes me at ...
May 18, 2008 -
Re: After Midnight
It's definately different. I've never quite read anything like it...and you set the scene well in italics. I don't really want to rip it to shreds saying that it's not ...
May 18, 2008
