Ego

I liked how this read - choppy, full of imagery an situations/excuses that those that self-harm often have to make. Very relatable to those people. However, the desire to self-harm ...

The crowd cheered as the... Show us. This is telling. Use the sense. The deafening roar of the crowd. The lusty din of the crowd's cheers. First sentence should take ...

Brrrr… Lamp Posts don't shiver. I think you can remove this and go with just the first sentence, which is catching as-is. ... I pour all my energy into making ...

Plummet down a rabbit hole 100% cliche and 100% expected in an Alice in Wonderland review. More than 80% of the review has nothing to do with your opinion of ...

He was supposed to be dead. And yet, he found himself lying on the dust of the earth, staring at the sun. Drop this into two lines, as shown above. ...

Solid, but flat. We need more. It's all very...generic. No names, no descriptions, no labels. People need labels to be able to identify with what's going on, especially if you're ...

On Convenience To make this more readable, I highly recommend using the [url=LINK]DESCRIPTION[/url] code. This way we can click on images instead of copy/pasting them into our bar. Ogre* Please ...

On werewolves and vampires. This has become cliche, through and through. I'd avoid using these if at all possible. Rely on the strength of your characters and plot, not gimmicks. ...

Right off the bat; Formatting. New paragraphs, please. A chunk of text is nigh impossible to read. Seems like some of your characters are being replaced by multiple question marks, ...

Entirely too short. More of a blurb than anything else. Certainly not a short story. Your wording is pretty strong but you don't actually tell us anything. We don't know ...

DISCLAIMER: The following is my opinion only. In no way is it an objective analysis of the quality of your work, nor a reflection of you as a writer. I ...

As requested. ...blades crashed together and flew apart. Sounds like they’re attacking each others’ blades, rather than each other. The battle raged on for several minutes... I know you’re using

We talked about this already in chat, but to recap: -- I wouldn't have known the narrator was a girl if you hadn't told me, save for the one comment ...

Hello, Logan. As requested. Disclaimer: Everything in this review is opinion. While I won't always say "In my opinion,." it should always be implied unless explicitely stated otherwise. I don't ...

Before I even start: Your thread titles makes me want to set you on fire. It's obnoxious. The piece itself is interesting, if two dimensional. Battered woman kills the man ...