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Fantasy land: Just and idea for a story.

by Jonathan
















I also would like to know what you guys think of it.

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576 Reviews

Points: 6371
Reviews: 576

Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:17 am
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Ego wrote a review...

On Convenience
To make this more readable, I highly recommend using the

Code: Select all
code. This way we can click on images instead of copy/pasting them into our bar.


Please give us more information on your actual story, rather than providing us images with what you think fantasy creatures look like. Use your writing skills to describe them and their culture, rather than relying on images. It'll improve your own grasp of what you're trying to write.

We got one sentence on plot/characters. and a bazillion about creatures. Please, more of the former.


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Points: 373
Reviews: 32

Sun Jun 16, 2013 6:16 pm
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ShadowHunter wrote a review...

It sounds like an interesting read. I some creatures you left out were nymphs and fairies for the basics. If you really wanted to get some of the more evil creatures(the ones that people tend to dislike) into the story there are Stormwings. Look them up, they are actually really interesting creatures. Hope I might have helped, I know you already started, but you could introduce new creatures as the story progresses.

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1318 Reviews

Points: 23911
Reviews: 1318

Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:29 am
Hannah wrote a review...

Hey, Jordin!
Fellow Knight here, to hop on your novel as you suggested.
First things first. Are you posting from a device other than your computer? Even when we're just presenting rough ideas, things like spelling and punctuation matter.

Minotaur, Satyr, Pegasus, and Ogre were all spelled incorrectly as well as various words in your own text.

I'm still left wondering what your story is about! What will happen after they travel away from their home? What's the first thing that happens to them? Is his Griffin big enough for him to ride on? How does one take care of a pet Griffin?

Lastly, I think it would be much more helpful to you if you wrote out various descriptions of these monsters instead of posting pictures. In the book, you're not going to be able to use other people's drawings unless you go and hire them and their art or something, so you'll rely on your own descriptions to bring out these images in your readers' heads. Usually, we already have a set idea of what trolls or ogres look like compared to one another, so you'll want to bring out the unique features in the pictures you chose, such as the leanness and the long noses of the trolls.

Keep working, and let me know if you get around to writing and posting a first chapter!

jordin says...

My next chapter is up!

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122 Reviews

Points: 3690
Reviews: 122

Fri Jun 07, 2013 8:54 pm
umaima says...


If I find myself afraid or scared, that means I'm doing the wrong thing.
— Jack Hanna