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Re: Icy Eyes
I really liked this! First Verse: I might remove "one hinge of" in the second line. Makes it a little too wordy. Chorus: ..."where you thinking of me?" *were instead ...
Dec 30, 2012 -
Re: Those Days
I understand the message you were conveying with this poem, but I feel like some of the lines were a little awkward and forced. The last stanza was definitely the ...
Dec 30, 2012 -
Re: On Sundays
I think this is cute! I like the whole concept with the father's broken watch and keeping time with the clock tower. This reminds me of an activity my class ...
Dec 30, 2012 -
Re: Louis
Like amygabb wrote before me, I think this poem definitely has potential. You definitely poured your heart and soul into this, which makes it extremely rich with emotion. I'm glad ...
Dec 18, 2011 -
Re: Mr Harry Potter, sir
I love this! I feel like most of the stuff I write would be repeated from the lovely previous reviewers, but I just have to say I absolutely adore the ...
Dec 18, 2011 -
Re: Promise Me Forever
I really enjoyed this. It's beautiful, poignant, and delivers an adorable message clearly right away. Sure, this type of subject has been covered before, but I think you made it ...
Dec 18, 2011 -
Re: Procrastination, Old Friend of Mine.
I absolutely love this!! I can say right now I can DEFINITELY relate since I should currently be doing an essay...but it's not due for three days so i have ...
Dec 9, 2011 -
Re: More Than A Friend
This is cute! There are only a few things that I want to pick out... I feel like some of the rhyming is forced...if you want to rhyme, by all ...
Dec 8, 2011 -
Re: Rain
This is good! The only thing I have to say is that it can get a little abstract, which makes it a little difficult to actually picture and visualize in ...
Nov 22, 2011 -
Re: Archangel
I had to write a 24th chapter when I was in middle school too! How neat :) Anyway, I shall begin critiquing your story...now! :D Jonas could still feel the ...
Nov 10, 2011 -
Re: For Him Should I Let Go?
Simply beautiful. I love your poetry. It's so hard to find a piece that's so simple, yet you can truly feel the emotion in your heart when you read this. ...
Jul 8, 2011 -
Re: Rose Petal Liquid
Wow I really loved this. I could feel your emotion throughout every word. You obviously put a lot of thought into this, and I love it. At first I was ...
Jul 8, 2011 -
Re: Deleted
Hmm...I understand the point you're trying to get across, but I feel like you could have more fun with it :) Maybe instead create an argument with Depression, adding imagery ...
Jun 29, 2011 -
Re: Fox poem
Hey! I feel like you could do a lot more with this poem. You definitely have a good start with the imagery of the beautiful fox lurking through the bushes ...
Jun 29, 2011 -
Re: h
I love how simple these tales are, I really enjoyed them. The fashion that they're told are really powerful and effective. I find it really awesome that you have something ...
Jun 27, 2011
