Published June 23, 2011
Prowling the sweeping meadows,
and ancient twilit trees.
Dancing flickering shadows,
under infinite star strewn skies.
Playful chasing,
red-maned prey with glee.
Leaping through a sea,
of glowing light speckled eyes.
Points:
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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138,963 Literary Works • 672,374 Reviews
so true, I think that this poem has more potential, it feels as though it should've not ended there. I love your choice of words, it gives me somewhat a bright and pastel imagery. It made me smile, I liked it a lot.
Hey! I feel like you could do a lot more with this poem. You definitely have a good start with the imagery of the beautiful fox lurking through the bushes and the trees, but maybe you want to do some more narration and description? You could make this poem even more beautiful
Usually I don't say much about length, but I feel like you almost need to make this longer to build up it's meaning and depth. You can do it, I know you can 
Keep writing!
<3 Sara.
Hey justagirl,
Thanks for your comment
I've gotta apologise for the fact that i just slapped this onto the forum right from notepad lol. I usually would have added line spacing. I thought it best not to do the same with the other poem that I posted on this forum - 'a bandits fortune', as that one is pretty long.
Have a wicked-cool day!
EDIT: I've changed it up alittle by adding some more wording. This also makes it flow better I believe.
This poem is ok. I love the imagery, so I think you did very well there. Also, the reason that I added all the breaks was to make it longer. That way, it should flow better
The end doesn't seem like a real ending, it seems only like the end of a stanza. Maybe add another line that signifies the end of the poem better or add on another stanza.
Good job!
Keep writing,
Alzora
Hi,
I am confused about this poem.
Farewell,
A.