Deleted.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hmm...I understand the point you're trying to get across, but I feel like you could have more fun with it
Maybe instead create an argument with Depression, adding imagery and more feeling to it. Like the previous reviewer, I agree it's a bit short and hokey...If you were just trying to make a quick point then it's all good. But for a story itself, it falls short unfortunately :/ Just dive in and have fun with it! You can do it!
Keep writing!
<3 Sara.
I know you were trying to make a point here, but it wasn't good. Perhaps you could write a story in a different way, and include just dialogue? I don't know, but the message came off as a little stale. This story is just a little too hokey for me. This is all just my opinion, maybe someone else would like it? Good luck