Chaser

Huzzah, another story! Well, shoot. Can't say I enjoy the way you're starting out here. Lemme tell you why. Setting. Please. I ask this much of you, tell me where ...

Hooray for short chapters. Not much to say here, really. Commas are underused, and your characters tend to ramble. The bit about possessed animals confused me, but I may have ...

Since there's no feedback yet... Darnit, Kevin, I like your story, but grammar, man. Use commas with great prejudice. Be sure to space out your paragraphs as well. As for ...

Hello once more. Beginning this review, I will just tell you that your grammar's off. With that out of the way... At the beginning, the dialogues are too long. It's ...

A review... So, this is an interesting short story. I especially enjoyed Jacob's idle thoughts as his brain begins to warp from the gas. But anyway, I'll just pick through ...

A review for you... An excellent start, I'll say that. A hyper-macho character to drive the plot, with some excellent detail strewn in to emphasize the awesome. It was odd ...

Finally, another chapter... Let's see. I like the dialogue here. I enjoy Kevin's habit of explaining each weapon he uses just to spite his enemies. Obviously, the whole thing needs ...

Happy Review Day! First off, I'll say that this was a very thought-out chapter. The descriptions of the mansions are still enjoyable and are able to ease the mind of ...

Happy Review Day! For starters, I enjoyed this chapter. It's quite giving with description, allowing the image of a castle to flourish in the reader's minds. However, that description may ...

Happy Review Day! Starting out positive, you've done a good job with characterization. Marcia's dark philosophy and Sodapop's rough behavior really shine through dialogue and narration. I can't find m

Giving this a review... Interesting beginning. The blunt sentences here have a way of making the reader want more. A good technique which I commend you for. Simply giving raw ...

Reading this with no context... Seems good. Intriguing plot, subtle characterization, and an instilling of an urge to read more. The only problem I would have here is formatting. As ...

Okay. (deep breath) Let's do this. I like this story, to be blunt. The characters are memorable, the details are spot-on, and the grammar and spelling are mostly correct. But, ...

Um.... Well, some dialogue and characterization always help in apocalyptic stories, I can say that for sure. The dialogue is actually pretty superb. Leonie and Lilly's arguments are very entertaining.

Since this is still here... Well then, I liked this chapter. It's a bit out-of-the-blue, but you might just be able to get away with it. Since nitpicks are done ...