16+ Language Mature Content

Terra Gate Chapter One The Meeting

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

PreviousNext

Sigma was outside enjoying the sun silently when Rowan told him they would be here soon and to clean himself up. "Look whose talking dirtball" Sigma said opening one eye for half a second. "NOW!" Rowan snapped. "Now you're too old you need help? How sad I didn't notice you were so old dusty... I mean rusty" Sigma burst into laughter when he suddenly felt a smack.

"If I'm old and rusty how did I just smack that smart mouth?" He asked.

He hated everything about Rowan the guy nags about everything just for the sake of nagging it seemed. "You wanna die geezer?" He said ignoring the smack. Then another hit him a lot harder. Just what he waited for. "Gotcha you old fart" he yanked his hand towards him sending him flying towards Sigma, he would have 3 limbs to dodge then he would have a perfect opportunity. A foot, dodge that's one, the other foot that's two, his last limb three. "Your dead meat!" Suddenly a head rams him into a tree he was next to. "Not that easily, I knew you would strike after you figured I was defenseless and not a second sooner. A good strategy but you don't get a mission like this guardian job without skill, knowing your flaws, or always having a trick left. I might be old but you will never beat me because you let your emotions get the better of you." Rowan turned to walk away.

"Wrong you just lost" Sigma said. Before Rowan could completely turn around Sigma grabbed his arm turned his fist into a stone then punched Rowan in the spine. But suddenly he fell instead of Rowan when he noticed he missed and Rowan was a few feet out of reach and countered the same way he was going to hit.

"Like I said tricks up your sleeve. Inside NOW!" Rowan said and walked away.

He grunted pretending to be struggling to get up until Rowan was out of sight then laughed and turned to walk away when he saw two unbelievably stunning women he would die if he ended up with either. Then his logic kicked back in.

"Melissa and Sara I presume?" Sigma asked

"Yup" Melissa answered looking around for Rowan.

"He is inside assuming he knocked some obedience into me, he's not smart enough to realize I have a mind of my own and am smarter than he is. Annoying old goat." Sigma said referring to Rowan.

"I see that's good then." Melissa said.

"Yes he isn't nearby, best time of my day. Is that all your carrying? I can carry it it must be heavy." Sigma said.

"Yes but I actually meant it's good you don't like him either, he is a pig. I'm glad you have a mind of your own, it's a miracle you turned out so nice. He was the most annoying guardian picked." Melissa said as she and Sara handed their bags over and he nearly fell. He had no idea how it weighed so much or how they effortlessly carried it. It's nothing to him actually, but a lot more than he would have guessed.

Melissa went inside and made Rowan leave for now. Sigma and Sara sat on the hill, Sara noticed a sweet innocent look on his face. He was at this moment oblivious to the world. After an hour or more passed he stood up took a long deep breath and said "let's go inside I'm sure Melissa and you have questions." To which she just nodded.

As they walk inside he noticed Melissa relaxed almost as if she was waiting. They sat down next to her and she asked about him, how he felt how he grew up, where his favorite place was, his favorite movies and music. Small stuff to get to know him better, and as a sort of fairness she would respond with her answer after. Sara remained quiet which made him wonder, Melissa noticed and said "she hasn't said hers because it's the same and same answers you gave."

"Why don't you give her the grand tour I already took one to check things out." Melissa said.

He showed Sara to the bedroom and pointed to a bed. "Rowan said it would be easier for us if we spent the first month in the same room and we would probably find out why within our first two days. The house is about three times bigger than it was a week ago but apparently it's just the right size for the next month or so porky the perverted pig Rowan says. I cleared out my room feel free to use as much space as you want I'm used to not keeping many things. So I don't use very much room. The next door after this is our bathroom, but against Rowan's decision I plan to combined it to our room and replace the door to the hallway with a wall, so it would be similar to a co ed dorm really. The last door at the end of the hall is a storage room. I don't think you want to see Rowan's room unless you like naked women of questionable age."

Sara giggled which was the first noise he heard from her. He wasn't sure why she didn't talk but was determined to make her talk by the end of the night. "I'm a little thirsty you want some ice water too before we continue?" He was about to walk out of the room when Sara grabbed his sleeve to pull him in shutting the door and materialized a glass of ice water too hand to him.

"Making something from nothing?" He asked.

"Nope I can't make something I don't understand the process of its creation and function so a plane or bomb for example I can't but if I know how something is made and how it works yes I can create it from nothing. Like this drink for example" she answered putting out her hand with the glass for him to take.

He made a glass identical to hers with the exact same amount of water and ice cubes. "Same restrictions but I make duplicates mostly." He walked out and was halfway up the stairs when he saw Melissa looking his direction and noticed her eyes drawn at their glasses of ice water.

"If you two hit it off so naturally I might have some competition," Melissa laughed.

He could tell she knew the glasses of ice water weren't natural. He pointed to the only door on the right. "That's Melissa's room, The one opposite and down the hall are for any other guardians who come. The third floor has two more rooms. I was planning to move everything up there before you came but can do it tomorrow, our room will be the largest in the house."

Sara smiled and asked, "alright so should tomorrow we will be up there?"

"Yeah," Sigma said. He was about to go back downstairs when something popped in his head. "There is one more place you should know about, it's somewhere only I know about."

"Alright," she smiled.

He led her down stairs and outside to his favorite spot to rest during the day. He looked around to make sure Rowan was not in sight. He knocked on the tree a couple times, followed by a couple pounds. "I hollowed out a part of the tree, it opens by that sequence of knocks and pounds. He pointed to a palm scanner and code panel. He scanned his hand then said aloud five four zero three as he pushed them. Put your hand on the scanner and pick a four digit code.

She did as he said and saw a spot on the ground open up revealing stairs into an underground bunker of sorts. "It's a personal hiding spot I used to avoid Rowan. The main areas are all accessible by default but can be locked down if need be."

"So it functions as a panic room?"

"Basically, though I have never had to use it for that."

"I'm assuming you have a room that requires more than a palm scan and four digit pin too."

"Glad you caught onto that." He flicked on the lights and pointed to each doorway showing a nameplate for the rooms above that read. "Bathrooms, bedrooms, gym, kitchen, observation outpost two, secondary security system, panic room, virtual training facility, lower facility."

"Lower facility?"

"A section I was not done with yet, it's mostly just a giant square area for now. Anyway the panic room in the panic room, ironic to say it. It's on a completely separate network of controls that can only be accessed from inside. But once inside you control the entire island. To prevent it from any type of detecting its the only room that can't be scanned from the surface either. It's system are also pretty much all offline if nobody is in it. Same with the main areas we are in."

He walked up to the panic room. Placed his hand on the wall and stared at a spot. The wall lit up around his hand and a light scanned his eyes. A codes panel popped up again.

"Your turn, hand eyes and 10 or more characters long for a password," Sigma said.

They went in and he showed her how most of the stuff works. He checked where Rowan was and saw him inside the house so he said, "all clear."

He walked out a saw Melissa standing there waiting. "Hopefully you walked out just now knowing I was here."

"Actually I only checked for Rowan."

"Well it's good it was me here, as for why I can totally understand. I don't need to ask what is down there, considering you only checked for Rowan. I assume it is safe to," Melissa said.

"I can give you the code to enter if you want to check," Sigma offered.

"No I'm alright but thank you. By the way it's time to eat."

After dinner they went to play a game on pool on the pool table and a couple other games in the basement. Sigma got destroyed at almost everything. They went up to the roof to enjoy the night sky a little before going to sleep.

Comments & reviews · 3
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Holiday30
Review

Well I can defiantly say this story is bit less hitting off like the other two stories I read by you but never the less it still has your creative signature on it my friend. Even though I was a bit bored at the beginning I grew more interested as I read on.....Hey the saying is true never judge a book by its cover. Any who Your characters are well developed and I can not wait to read more.

User avatar
Chaser
Review
Chaser wrote a review · Mon May 11, 2015 3:44 am

Huzzah, another story!

Well, shoot. Can't say I enjoy the way you're starting out here. Lemme tell you why.

Setting. Please. I ask this much of you, tell me where your characters are. They could be practically anywhere as of now.

You could give at least a bit more description for Sigma's stone-hand. Right now it just seems arbitrary.

Your characters. I hate to say it, but Rowan isn't as easy to hate as you think. Sure, he's a crabby pervert, but is that it? He could be a crabby pervert with Sigma's best interests at heart. It kind of seems unfair to hate him right off the bat, and that really decreases the lovability of your main character.

That's all. I look forward to seeing where this goes.


-Chaser

They're location is unspecified because they're in hiding, I did fail to explain the purpose of a guardian though. I will probably write a prologue later at some point, but for now refer to the last paragraph in my second comment under bloodybelle01's review.

As for Sigma's stone hand, he is not a human nor from earth. People from his planet are humanoid in shape, and by all appearances look human. But think of it in a superman kind of way, Clark Kent is from Krypton. While Clark Kent is an alien and not human, he still looks human despite the fact that he isn't. Sigma and Rowan and their home planet is the same, they look human but like superman have powers. The difference being their powers don't require a red sun, they would work just as easily even if their was no sun. One of Sigma's powers is manipulating earth as a element, such as turning a body part or parts into stone, rock, cement, or any other variations you can make from dirt and rocks. Rowan as displayed can stretch kind of like Mr. Fantastic, although that's not his only power more will be shown later.

As for the reason why their location isn't mentioned it's because they're in hiding, for now all I will say is it's a small island isolated from the world. Think of a prison isolated by hundreds or thousands of miles of ocean in every direction, that's the best I can give until the time is right.

As for excitement for something new I actually wrote this in March and spent my entire first month tweaking it around until I was happy.

But for any of the unexplained details, refer to the last paragraph of my second comment to bloodybelle01.

User avatar
bloodybelle01
Review

This is really interesting and I am enjoying it a lot! I hope that you keep on writing it. Your characters seem to have a good basis and I can't wait to see where it takes you. Some of your descriptions are good, too. I would work on making the links between parts in your story a bit smoother.

Critiques: (It looks like a lot, but most of it is just commas or me quoting your story- I went into a lot of detail)

1. ' "Like I said tricks up your sleeve. Inside NOW!" Rowan said and walked away. ' - this doesn't make sense. Did you mean 'Like I said, I have tricks up my sleeve' ?

2. ' He is inside assuming he.knocked some obedience into me, not smart enough to realize I have a mind of my own and am smarter than he is. Annoying old goat." Sigma said referring to Rowan. ' -there shouldn't be a full stop (.) between he and knocked, 'not smart enough to realize' would sound better with a 'he's' before it, and the end of the dialogue would sound better 'than he is, the annoying old goat'

3. ' "I see that's good then." Melissa said. ' -put a comma between see and that's

4. "Yes he isn't nearby, best time of my day. Is that all your carrying? I can carry it it must be heavy." Sigma said. -place a comma after yes, look at the wording of the first sentence (could be clearer?) and the last two sentences contradict each other with saying 'that's all' and 'must be heavy'

5. ' "Yes but I actually meant it's good you don't like him either, he is a pig. I'm glad you have a mind of your own, it's a miracle you turned out so nice. He was the most annoying guardian picked." Melissa said as she and Sara handed their bags over and he nearly fell. He had no idea how it weighed so much or how they effortlessly carried it. It's nothing to him actually, but a lot more than he would have guessed. ' -put comma after yes, have a look at rewording it a bit, you could replace 'handed their bags over and he nearly fell' with 'handed their bags over and he nearly fell in surprise at the weight' otherwise it is contradicting the last sentence, there should be a comma after 'picked' and before the closing of the speech marks.

6.' Melissa went inside and made Rowan leave for now. Sigma and Sara sat on the hill, Sara noticed a sweet innocent look on his face. He was at this moment oblivious to the world. After an hour or more passed he stood up took a long deep breath and said "let's go inside I'm sure Melissa and you have questions." To which she just nodded. ' - 'for the time being' sounds nicer than now', 'and Sara' instead of ', Sara', commas around 'at this moment', comma after passed, comma after stood up, 'let's' should be capitalised, put 'Sara' instead of 'she' in the last sentence

-Questions about what? this is slightly confusing.

7. ' Sara remained quiet which made him wonder, Melissa noticed and said "she hasn't said hers because it's the same and same answers you gave.” ' - capitalise she and add comma before beginning of speech marks.

8. ' She did as he said and saw a spot on the ground open up revealing stairs into an underground bunker of sorts. "It's a personal hiding spot I used to avoid Rowan. The main areas are all accessible by default but can be locked down if need be.” '- should be 'I use' not 'I used'

9. Sigma mentioned being determined to get Sara to talk, but then she does and there's no mention of it.

10. It was a little bit hard to follow and the back story wasn't there. What are the guardians? I feel like I must be missing a prologue. Am I?

11. The part at the end was confusing with the whole thing about Melissa should be glad that it was Sigma.

Overall, you did a fabulous job with this piece and I can't wait for more, but it is definitely worth going back and editing/revising it :)

This was actually the only story I went back to revise at all, and I spent my whole first month working on it. I hadn't noticed some of the things you pointed out, but others weren't actually mistakes. Some of the things you said contradicted each other actually didn't but your suggestions on one of the ones mentioned would improve how the paragraph will flow. I actually hadn't noticed any of them you listed as #2 .

I meant a second time :)
Congratulations on your dedication!
Sorry if anything I noticed was wrong, it may have been that something skipped my notice. And I'm glad that I have helped you a bit. Sorry if I offended you with anything, I really did like your story, I just know that I like detailed pointers so I tend to do the same with others :)

No offense taken. :)

It was helpful, commas are my weak area of punctuating. This one was written before I started to improve what little bit I have since joining, so it probably has a lot missing.

As for the guardians, I had an explanation at the beginning when I first wrote it, but felt it was just an info dump and chose to remove it. I was planning to address it later on, but it really makes little difference. The guardians and the ones they're assigned to are from another planet, they travel to earth Via the Terra Gate hence the name of the story. They had to leave the planet they came from because it was being attacked, whether or not it is completely destroyed will show up towards the middle or the end. This story is kind of like combining the tv show Stargate SG-1, and the movie I Am Number Four. Each planet has several gateways, every gateway leads to a different planet.

No offense taken. :)

It was helpful, commas are my weak area of punctuating. This one was written before I started to improve what little bit I have since joining, so it probably has a lot missing.

As for the guardians, I had an explanation at the beginning when I first wrote it, but felt it was just an info dump and chose to remove it. I was planning to address it later on, but it really makes little difference. The guardians and the ones they're assigned to are from another planet, they travel to earth Via the Terra Gate hence the name of the story. They had to leave the planet they came from because it was being attacked, whether or not it is completely destroyed will show up towards the middle or the end. This story is kind of like combining the tv show Stargate SG-1, and the movie I Am Number Four. Each planet has several gateways, every gateway leads to a different planet.

Ah, I see... Did you think about having a small prologue to put that in?

Was going to add it at the top in a single small paragraph, but it just didn't feel like it fit very well. It will be explained in the next chapter one way or another, although I spend a month on every chapter to this story, so new chapters won't be out very often. But I might do a prologue later on for it.

I might even do a prequel type backstory too this eventually.

Nice. If you do, let me know and I'll be sure to check it out :)



Surround yourself with people who are serious about being writers, and who will tell you, ‘Hey—you can do better than this.’ Who will be critical of your work, but also supportive. And who will not be competitive in a negative way.
— Isabel Quintero