The Cards Dealt Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 (sorry it's so long)

Marcia

I completely and totally flipped out when I heard the door slam shut. I had no idea who it might be, and I’d reacted before I could think. I stayed hidden in the shadows, a trick I’d learned when I was young and had trouble taking on the older kids; if they couldn’t find me they couldn’t hurt me. As soon as they finished eating and left the kitchen, I could breathe again. I came out when Sodapop called my name, and decided it was time to head back to the orphanage. I needed some clothes, plus I had to make sure that mistress didn’t touch Emily. The front and back door weren’t an option, so I decided to find a window. There was on in my room, and it wasn’t too high up. I slid out the window and hopped down, something I’d perfected years ago when I had to sneak out of the orphanage.

I walked down the street, my boots thumping against the concrete. Ever since I was six I hadn’t been frightened of walking alone at night. Before that I avoided all types of confrontation with people, but then I learned a few tips and tricks on self-defense, and I was set.

I arrived at the orphanage quickly, and snuck in Emily’s room window. She was lying in bed, but I knew she wasn’t asleep yet.

“Em, it’s me.” I whispered. She rolled over and smiled.

“How’d your new family go? Mistress went out looking for you, and I tried to tell her you went towards the opposite side of town, but she was set on going to your new family.”

“Miss Bitch got there, but she didn’t mess anything up. It’s not your job to watch out for me. I’m great at taking care of myself.”

“I know that, but you always have my back. I’m simply trying to return the favor.” She said indignantly. I sighed, because we always argued about this almost daily. “So they like you?”

“I don’t know. They didn’t kick me out, even after I punched Miss Bitch in the mouth.”

“You did what?!” she demanded. She hated whenever I brought trouble on myself.

“I had to! She was about to open up about the last foster home I went to. I can’t start out with all of my secrets put out for them to judge. I refuse to do that.”

“They’re going to have to learn at some point.” Emily told me.

“Not necessarily. I can deal with it, like I have been.” Even Emily didn’t know what really happened at that foster home. That was my secret, forever. Emily scowled at me, but dropped the subject.

“Whatever. Why are you back here, then?”

“Because, after I punched her she threatened you, so I had to be sure that she didn’t do anything. Of course, she may not because I told her if she did she wouldn’t be able to walk for a month. Plus I need some clothes, considering I left everything here.”

“Marc, please tell me you didn’t really tell mistress that.” I didn’t reply. “Ugh. You cause yourself so many unnecessary problems. Your clothes are in here. I brought them here so that nobody would try and steal them; I know you worked really hard for all of them.”

“Thanks.” I walked over to the closet and started pulling out some of my stuff. I picked out a few pairs of jean shorts, my usual cut-off black t-shirts, and some pajamas, which consisted of a big ratty t-shirt and shorts. I grabbed all my bras and panties, and stuffed them into a plastic bag.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright here, all by yourself?” I asked Emily. I hated leaving her all alone.

“Marc, I will be fine. You’re not even that far away. You just go and worry about yourself for a while. You have to take some time to get used to your new life.” She walked over and hugged me.

“Well if you need anything, ever, don’t hesitate. I’m at the east side of the house, facing here, the last bedroom. My window faces here. Throw a rock up, and I’ll wake up.” I hugged her back. Then I climbed out the window, gave a final wave of farewell, and headed back to my new home.

My only option was to creepily look in the front windows to see if that guy-Winston- was still there. He was, lounging on the couch, while the four boys stared at the television. I couldn’t help but take a moment to stare at the simplicity of the moment, and felt envy grow in my chest. I suppressed it and walked back towards my window. Getting down definitely was easier than getting back up.

Careful not to hurt the siding, I put my foot on the wall, and using all my strength launched me towards the window, and my fingers just barely caught the edge of the windowsill. I pulled myself the rest of the way in, and landed with a thud on the bed.

I spent a few minutes putting my clothes on hangers in the closet, and the slight difference pulled at my heart, because it made everything more real and permanent. Finally I grabbed bra and panties and pajamas, and snuck into the shower.

The warm water felt good, despite the heat outside. Thankfully Emily had thought to send me with some shampoo and conditioner, because the guys were definitely limited. I found a travel size tucked into the folds of my pajamas, along with a good luck note from her. I smiled, and started the water. What I didn’t think about was how Winston would wonder who was showering.

“Matthew, come out of there now. You owe me ten bucks, and I’m sick of you hiding!” Winston yelled, and my stomach clenched.

“Winn just let the kid finish showering.” Patrick’s voice penetrated through the locked door, and I hoped he’d deal with the situation.

“I ain’t going nowhere until Matt gets his sorry ass out here and pays me my ten goddamn dollars.” He sounded serious, and I began thinking of all the ways I could get out. And then I heard the bathroom door start to open, and I completely panicked. I was prepared to open the window and dangle out the window buck ass naked and not care, but it was Sodapop, which wasn’t very reassuring. The door clicked shut behind him, and I was having a really hard time breathing.

“Funny meeting you here.” He laughed, but I didn’t.

“Sodapop, this isn’t funny.” Panic crept into my voice.

“Hey, it’s alright.” His voice was soft and comforting. “You don’t happen to have ten bucks lying around in here, do you?” he asked hopefully.

“Try the back pocket of my jean shorts.” I told him breathlessly. I heard the clothes rustle, and he made a victory noise.

“Here it is. I’ll make Matt pay me back later.”

“It’s no big deal, just as long as he doesn’t come in here.” I told him honestly. With that he left, and even though I’d been doing so good, I gave in and opened the window. I breathed in the cool night air, but it didn’t help. I shut the water off, and couldn’t keep the vile down any longer. I ran to the toilet and let it all out, and once I was finished I felt better.

Sodapop

Panicked wasn’t a strong enough adjective for how she acted. I could literally hear her hyperventilating through the shower curtain. I was tempted to help her, but she was, well, naked, and it seemed like she didn’t want people around her. A part of me wonders if she was always so jumpy, or if something caused it. Maybe something happened at that one foster home that the old woman started to talk about; it had been the thing that had put Marcia over the edge.

After I was done I handed Winn the ten dollar bill, and told him to leave it. Winn had this thing about holding grudges even after the situation had diffused itself. It was annoying as hell, and caused way too many problems.

We headed back to the living room, and I mindlessly stared at the television. My mind was on Marcia. I wanted Winnie to leave so that we could talk some more. I was so interested in her; she had so many secrets buried away. You could tell by the way she jumped and ran so immediately. It was like she expected the worst to be coming after her, and no matter who it was, as long as there was that chance she wasn’t going to let them get her.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of a door opening softly. I hoped that Winnie didn’t hear it, but of course he jumped right up and ran after the sound. I knew without looking that she’d have disappeared before Winn had the chance to spot her, but I still felt defensive. I grabbed a hold of his collar, and forced him to stop.

“Winn, I told you to let it be. You got your damn money, now just let it go.”

“Matty old boy wussed out and didn’t give me the money face to face because he knew there’d be a fight. I want one good punch, and then I’m good.” Winnie was the size of Pat, and I couldn’t hold him for long. “I know he’s back the hall somewhere.” He shook me off and headed that way. When he didn’t find anyone, he’d get suspicious. He went into Pat’s room first; I could hear him inside calling out Matt’s name. When nobody was in there he headed to my room. My heart started racing as I waited for him to find something, when I heard a door close.

“Matt! I know you locked me in here! Grow some balls and let’s brawl it out!” Winn sounded angry. Marcia appeared in the living room. Her hair was dripping down her shirt and she had on pajama shorts; her eyes wide.

“I locked him in your room, Sodapop. I can hide out for a little while or…” she trailed off, leaving the decision up to us.

“We’ll-“ Patrick was cut off by Winnie, who bound angrily into the room. He grabbed Marcia before he could tell it was a girl and had her against the wall.

“You little son of a-“ he swung, and she ducked so that his fist collided with the wall. She got out of his grip and was across the room in the same second. “Who the hell are you?” Winnie demanded. We were speechless, so Marcia took control.

“I’m an old family friend who’s staying here for the summer. Who the hell are you?” There wasn’t any hesitation in her words; she lied smoothly. Marcia crossed her arms sternly and played the angry role well.

“Wait a second, I know you. You go to high school with Curt and Soda.”

“Yep. My parents went away for the summer to go visit relatives. I wasn’t too keen on going, so I talked them into letting me stay here for the summer. It took a whole lot of persuading, considering I plan on staying with three boys for a summer, but they finally agreed. Now, who are you?” Not once did she stutter and I had to wonder if she’d planned the story or was simply good in tight situations.

“Winston. Oh, and by the way, I like the outfit and hair.” As soon as Winnie realized it was a girl, he turned on the charm. He smiled, and Marcia rolled her eyes and scowled at him. I couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“This girl is tough.” I told him, going to stand up and put my arm around her. Her shoulders stiffened, but otherwise she acted comfortable. “I wouldn’t try flirting with her. You might end up with a black eye.”

“I’d love to see her try. A tiny little thing like her, taking down me?” Winnie was challenging her, because she wasn’t small. She towered over top of most people. I’d say that she had to be almost six feet tall, and that was impressive.

“If I had to take you down, you’d be down.” There was confidence in her voice. The more she talked the more comfortable she grew, and her shoulders relaxed. “Right, Soda?” She punched my arm playfully, and I pretended like it hurt.

“Show me what you got.” Winn motioned with his finger for her to come at him.

“I don’t wanna hurt you.” She fluttered her eyelashes flirtatiously, and I caught myself getting caught up in the situation.

“I highly doubt you’ll hurt me.” Winnie rolled his eyes.

“Alright, I won’t try to hurt you. I’ll just get you down.” She finally agreed. She gave me a mischievous grin, and slid out from under my arm. She was either a great actress or enjoying herself. She walked towards Winn, cracking her knuckles and taking deep breaths. A serious look overtook her face, and in a blink of an eye on of her long legs shot up, connected with Winn’s shoulder, and dragged him to the ground. Before he could try getting back up she was straddling his midsection, and holding his arms down. She wasn’t even out of breath.

“Damn girl.” Winn started trying to get up, but it was obvious that she wasn’t letting him get up. Her wet hair was going everywhere, and her shorts were riding up. For a girl, she really could kick ass. I never thought that her long, lean body could actually pack some power. And then just like that she jumped up, like she had been in a trance and was back to reality. She muttered apologies and something about being really tired, and practically ran away.

“What’s her problem?” Winn asked once she had left.

“She told you she didn’t want to hurt you. Why do you always have to push people?” I smarted off, and I wondered why I felt so defensive. “Do you always have to be a dick?”

“Who pissed in your cereal this morning? Jeesh, what are you two, hook up buds or something?” Something crossed Winn’s face. “That’s why you’re being such a weirdo! You two are totally in love or something, but both of you are denying your feelings? Or maybe it’s a post breakup and you two are trying out the friend’s thing but it’s just totally not working out.” His smile grew bigger and bigger as he thought about all the ways he could mess with us.

“No, we are just friends, and have always been just that.” I lied with an eye roll. “And now I’m going to apologize on your behalf to my friend.” The conversation was closed.

Marcia

I really was planning on running, but then Winston came out and grabbed me, and I started acting before my brain could catch up. The next thing I know I have him on the ground, and I’m way out of my comfort zone. My brain caught up to me, and I ran out of the room beforeI did something I really would regret.

I lied in bed, trying to block out all thoughts. I was so irritated with myself, and I was finding it very hard to keep a straight head. I was too tempted to jump out the window and start running, and I was about to when my door opened. Sodapop stepped into the dark room, and closed the door behind him.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just totally out of my element. That was…intense. I don’t usually do things like that unless need be. I guess I just got caught up in the moment.” I forced myself to talk, trying to brush off the situation, but I couldn’t bring myself to lie to him about anything; instead I stuck with the truth.

“Winnie’s not a bad guy, but he does love to flirt. You’ll get used to it soon enough.”

We talked for a few more minutes, and then he left, and I gratefully fell asleep with some pressure alleviated from my chest.

Weeks passed, and I gradually fell into the swing of things. I woke up at seven each morning, made breakfast for everyone, got dressed, and headed out. Because it was summer time I had a job not too far away from where I lived, and I worked there from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. I came home just as they were eating, and ate with them. After that I showered, and spent time with them.

One night we were talking, when I heard voices outside the door. I’d grown used to people randomly showing up at their house randomly, but it still made my pulse leap, and almost made me run away. This time there were a lot of voices, and my heart started beating in my ears.

“Hey Pat!” an unfamiliar voice called. I stood up to hide in the shadows, when Soda grabbed me.

“We play cards every Friday here. Just keep up the act of being an old family friend.” He whispered in my ear. I nodded, and made my shoulders relax as the room filled with adolescent boys. I told them the lie, and in return they introduced themselves. There was Winston, Matthew, Cade, and Randle. I had to admit that being in a small room with seven guys was a little intimidating, despite the fact that I got along better with guys than I did girls.

“This little chick is tough as shit. She took me down without breaking a sweat.” Winston flung his arm across my shoulder, and I almost collapsed.

“A little thing like that?” someone asked. I sighed, and told them that there was no way I was repeating. They’d have to take their word.

They set up a table, got some cards and beer, and started playing. They lit up cigarettes, and asked if I wanted dealt in. Despite the fact that I kicked ass at cards, I declined and headed off to bed. The first twenty minutes I really did try to sleep, but when that failed I laid there, listening to them talk and bicker back and forth; they sounded like a family, and I found myself laughing along with them.

“So you and that Marcia girl, huh?” I heard one of the guys ask. I listened more closely, wondering if they’d keep the lie going or not.

“She’s just a friend, chill guys.” I heard Sodapop tell them. “We’ve known each other forever, and nothing’s ever come of it.”

“Whatever. The way you look at her totally isn’t in a friendly way. Anytime she adjusts herself the slightest angle, you do to. It’s like you two are in sync or something.” I couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like Cade.

“Nah, we just have a lot in common. She didn’t grow up very good. Her parents died like ours-“

“I thought she said her parents were out of town for the summer?” Winston cut in, and my heart leapt in my stomach.

“Well…she just didn’t want you to ask questions. Trust me, I know from experience that it’s better to lie about your parents being alive than to deal with the weird glances and sympathetic comments.” Sodapop smoothed the lie over, thankfully.

“Oh. But she still seems…different. I’ve seen her do some serious ass kicking before, but otherwise she acts as though she’s scared of her own shadow. She jumps and runs at the slightest movement. It’s weird.” Cade continued his interrogation.

“She was passed around from foster home to foster home and grew up in the orphanage down the street. She didn’t have a lot of people in her life that she trusted, and I’m not sure who she trusts right now. Something big happened in her past, but I don’t know what.” I was astonished to hear Sodapop talk about me like he had known me for years. I didn’t like that he saw so much of me; I fought extremely hard to keep myself hidden. I wasn’t used to people seeing right through my façade.

“I wonder what would have had to have happened that would cause her to be so…jumpy.” I was sick of hearing them talk about me, so I made loud noises that indicated that I was awake. I made my eyes look as though I was half asleep, and then walked groggily out to the kitchen to get a glass of water. It tasted bad in my mouth, and boiled in my stomach. I took a good long while drinking it, and then placed the glass in the sink. I went and stood just in the doorway, leaning nonchalantly against the wall.

“You guys are still at it?” I made my voice sound thick with sleep.

“It’s not that late. Not everyone goes to bed at nine o’clock every night.” Sodapop teased, and I rolled my eyes.

“Please, it’s got to be past midnight.” I checked the clock in the kitchen. “Holy crap it’s three in the morning!” I cried. I wasn’t going to want to make up in the morning.

“That’s the time when the night just begins. Sure you don’t wanna join us?” Winston asked hopefully, and I shook my head.

“Thanks, but no. Unlike the rest of you I have to get up in the morning.” And with that I went to bed and felt their eyes follow me the whole way.

Since I was no longer staying at the orphanage, I’d come to the decision that Emily needed to learn how to take care of herself at least a little bit. So, the next weekend we headed out into the edge of the countryside for the grass, and I’d started training her. It was basic things that would allow her to not get herself captured or killed. Some kicks and hits in the right area that didn’t require much force, and I hated to say it, but she wasn’t good. I would teach her something, and she’d do okay when she practiced in the air, but as soon as she went to attack me she’d wimp out and barely touch me.

“Emily, knowing the move isn’t going to help you much. You have to be able to do it with enough accuracy and power that it actually puts off an attacker.” Once again I showed her how to kick her leg up into the air with power and accuracy, and then asked her to kick me. She wasn’t strong enough to actually hurt me even if she put effort in, but she didn’t believe me. Her foot shot up and stopped a good foot away from my head and went back to the ground.

“Emily! Dammit, you have to do this! I’m not there to protect you anymore, and I don’t trust the other kids enough to think that they won’t try and mess with you at some point in time. You don’t want to deal with my enemies. All I want you to be able to do is deter them enough to be able to run away and find me. Once you do that everything will be fine.” I was trying really hard not to get angry with her, but I needed a way for her to realize the seriousness of the situation. My enemies didn’t disappear just because I left, if anything they would become more prominent. They loved messing with me without actually coming in contact with me, because they didn’t want to get hurt. If they went after somebody close to me, like Emily, and hid for a while they were safe for a short period of time, and it made them feel powerful. Until I hunted them down and made them pay.

“Marcia, I don’t want to hurt anyone. What if I accidentally knock them over and they hit their head, or I kick them in the temple or something?” Her eyes were wide with fear.

“Emily, you are most definitely overestimating yourself. There is no way that you are actually going to hurt someone. I just want you to be able to free yourself if they grab you. This would be a lot easier with a third person, because then I could show you on them and have you do it to me.”

“Why don’t you ask one of your brothers to do it?” Emily was asking an innocent question, but I dismissed it immediately.

“No, I’m not going to bug them about stupid little favors.”

“I’m sure Sodapop would love to come and help us. He seems like a fighter. You two have a lot in common. Why don’t we go get him, and then he can help us out?” She was being serious, and part of me knew that it was because she didn’t want to have to fight, but I gave in anyhow.

“I don’t even know for sure if he’s home. We might be wasting time.” I warned her. Emily shrugged her shoulders and started walking back towards the town.

“Only one way to find out!” she called, and I trudged along behind her. To Emily’s delight Sodapop was there, and willing to help us. We backtracked to the grassy area, and I started Emily offensive maneuvers rather than defensive.

“Alright, so let’s go with the scenario that someone has you pinned on the ground with your arms behind your back.” I nod to Sodapop to demonstrate, and he grabbed me and pushed my face into the ground and held tightly onto my arms. I heard him laugh, and decided to really make him get off me.

“So, you’re going to want to do everything in your power to get onto your back and free your arms. Once you get there you kick and claw your way out. Don’t stop for anything. I’m going to show you quickly at first, and then I’ll slow it down.” Emily nodded, and I twisted my torso so that my wrists felt like they would snap and Sodapop’s grip on me was lost. I flung my arms out to free them completely, landed on my back, and took my foot to his stomach. I flung him off, and he flew through the air before shakily landing on his feet a short distance away. “See?” I asked Emily nonchalantly, but Sodapop wasn’t quite as calm.

“I thought that was an example!” he called. He didn’t sound too angry, but he definitely wasn’t happy. I shrugged.

“Sorry if you couldn’t handle it.” I replied unkindly. I didn’t really care. If I could handle it he could grow some balls and suck it up. He came at me and tried to tackle me, but I moved out of his reach quickly. He went in again, lower this time to grab my legs. I jumped back, and while he was bent over pushed him over. He landed in a heap on the ground, and I put my foot on his back to keep him there. “Don’t mess with the big dog.” I warned him with a laugh, because he looked pretty funny laying on the ground all dirty. He grabbed my ankle, and I almost lost my balance. “Not bad.” I told him earnestly. I almost felt sorry, until he pulled that stunt.

“Alright Emily, we’re done playing. It’s your turn.” I grabbed ahold of her, and even though I was worried about hurting her I grabbed her tightly so that she’d really have to struggle. She fought and fought, but she couldn’t make me budge.

“I guess we’ll just have to start making you work out with me sometimes.” I finally declared. I didn’t really work out all that often, I just did things that allowed me to stay in shape and able to fight. I made a mental note to dedicate one day a week to taking Emily out and making her put some muscle on. But for that day it was getting late and we hadn’t accomplished anything. We headed home. I bid farewell to Emily when we reached the orphanage, and then Sodapop and I silently walked home.

A few days later, Emily informed me of the date, which had snuck up on me. Orphans had an alley claimed as their own not far from the orphanage and certain dates in throughout the year they got together to complete traditions. We usually met with kids on the street and the other orphanage a town over on their south side as well. They weren’t your normal everyday traditions. But, whether or not orphans liked them or not, not showing was worse than going and bearing it.

“Marc, you don’t have to go.” Emily told me for the hundredth time. For days we’d been arguing about this.

“Of course I’m going. Not going would be a death sentence for you.” I wasn’t persuading her with subtly. I would love nothing more than to skip, but I couldn’t leave Emily. So, that night I finally, officially invited Emily over to my house, and introduced her to my family.

“We actually have to go out tonight,” I told Patrick. Emily had brought over our clothes; we wore the same things to every event- no matter the season or weather.

“Alright, can I ask where you’re going?” Patrick hadn’t actually put down any rules, but I tried not to push my luck.

“It’s kinda a thing at the orphanage. It’s…complicated.”

“What time should you be home?”

“Late-maybe not until after midnight.” I waited for Patrick to object, but he simply shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay. Be safe.” I was grateful about his blasé attitude, and Emily and I ran into the bathroom. She had brought everything, since I’d left all of my things at the orphanage. There was a makeup bag, our dresses, and heels. There was nothing I hated more, but it was policy.

We got ready, fixing our hair and shoving ourselves into our dresses. Emily’s was a greenish blue that went well with her blonde hair and blue eyes. She was so small, and she looked too young to be in the type of dress we were forced into. Mine was red, short as sin and strapless, just like Emily’s. The dresses were both covered in sparkles and as tight as possible. By the time I put my four inch strappy heels on I felt like a slut. No matter how many times I forced myself into the dress, each time it became harder and harder.

Finally we were ready, and I was ready for the night to be over. As we prepared to exit the bathroom, I stopped her.

“I don’t want them to see me like this. Would you contemplate going out the window?” I asked. I knew she wouldn’t but I thought maybe I could persuade her. I was always more willing to do things like jump out of windows, and she was more likely to take the easiest path.

“You look great. We’ll just hurry, and hopefully not run into anybody.” Emily wasn’t going to budge, I could see it in her eyes, but I couldn’t help but try.

“I’ll help you down. You can climb on my back, and I’ll get us down fine.” I offered as a last minute hope, but it was no use. She ended up grabbing ahold of my wrist and dragging me out into the living room. We were almost out the front door when Sodapop called my name from the kitchen. I froze, and while my first instinct was to sprint in the opposite direction, I gritted my teeth and turned around.

“Yeah?”

“Aren’t you going to come in and show us what took over an hour in the bathroom?” he demanded.

“Um, I’m gonna have to pass. We’re running late, and we need to be there on time-“

“Just give me a second. We’ll come in and see you.”

“No really-“ I grabbed ahold of the door handle and tried running out, but Emily grabbed me. I could have pulled free, but it might have hurt her. “Em, c’mon. We have to get out of here.” But then my three brothers and two of their friends were standing in the doorway, and my cheeks went beyond pink.

“What in hell are you wearing?” I felt all of their eyes traveling up our bodies, checking out Emily’s chest and my long legs. My stomach coiled.

“It’s just protocol for these events. I wear this dress a lot throughout the year, every time there’s an event.” I forced myself to take nice, even breaths. I had to look calm even though inside I couldn’t move, think, or breathe.

“There’s no way you’re leaving the house in that thing.” Sodapop’s voice was stern, and I felt an uneasy knot forming in my stomach.

“Sodapop, I promise I wouldn’t be going out in this ridiculous outfit unless it was really important. I’ve been to these things since I was young; I’m used to them.”

“I don’t really care. You can’t be going out like that. Tell her, Pat.” He looked at Patrick for help, but he shrugged.

“The dress is too short, but I’ve never seen her wear anything like that before. It must be important if she is willing to go out in public like that.”

“But-“ Soda tried, but I cut him off.

“Look, I’d love to stand here and argue with you while your friends check out Emily’s chest, but we have places to be, people to see, etcetera.” And with that I ran out the door with Emily.

We arrived late thanks to our little debacle, and people were already taking their places. This event was one of the easier ones. You weren’t required to do anything unless you wanted to. People would go up and challenge people that they had grudges against, or thought they could beat, something along those lines. Winners were put on a sheet of paper, and at the end of the event the winners would pick among themselves who to fight. People placed bets, and once the thing was over, it was like it never happened. You weren’t supposed to go after someone who you lost against or anything like that. You had to keep all the revenge piled up until the next 365 days pass. I’d made myself quite a few enemies, but I didn’t plan on actually fighting.

“Remember Em, just decline any requests. If people don’t stop I’ll come after them.”

“Don’t get yourself too beat up. You got yourself out of the orphanage, you shouldn’t even be here.” Even though she told me that, she looked terrified; I didn’t think she’d ever get used to the way things were.

We stood on the outskirts as people started throwing punches and girls started pulling hair. Not many girls really fought, they just pulled hair and scratched. The guys threw a few punches until one fell, and then they helped one another up; I’d fight a guy over a girl any day. But the universe was constantly working against me, and I had to stop a girl when she tried to slap Emily. She probably wanted to smack me, but no girl had the balls to actually go for me.

I grabbed her hand mid-swing, and hoped that she would back off. Of course, she didn’t. She started running her mouth, and when I got irritated I threw one good punch that knocked her annoying ass on the ground. When she tried to get up I stuck my heel into her throat, and she ran away. I sighed, already losing patience faster than I thought possible.

The night wore on and on, and my feet grew weary. I never actually got into a fight, and when the clock tolled midnight I thought that maybe this year I’d be able to walk away without harm. I guessed wrong.

“Funny meeting you here!” The whole night crumbled in on my in that moment; that voice would be recognizable anywhere. My skin crawled, and my stomach knotted, and it took every muscle in my body to not run as fast and hard as I could. But he always found me, whether I wanted to be found or not.

“Who is that?” Emily asked. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“Just one of those people in my past. You know how many enemies I have.” I replied nonchalantly.

“He looks wasted.” Emily noted. I simply nodded, knowing that this wasn’t going to be good. Emily and I had been sipping drinks, but I was done with subtly. I knocked back my head and gulped down the rest of my drink, and went to find another.

For the next hour I worked on getting myself drunk as possible. I lost count after six drinks, and then when he asked me to come with him, I was feeling brave, and denied him. I made sure that Emily was home safe, and told her that I would head home. It was then that he grabbed me, and all I could do was breathe. Or at least try.

Sodapop

I was trying to sleep, stuck with the image of Emily and Marcia in my mind. They’d looked good, and ridiculous. The dresses were too tight, short, and showing. It must have been the big brother in me, but it took everything inside of me not to follow them and make sure that nobody touched Marcia. But they left, and Patrick told me not to intervene. He fed me some bull about her being used to taking care of herself, and that we had to give her space.

But I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it, and all through the night I’d tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Eventually around three a.m. I fell asleep, and was woken up by the sound of a banging door. I looked over and the clock read 8:47. My thoughts immediately went to Marcia, and I assumed that she was knocking because she didn’t have a key. I groggily jumped out of bed and threw the door open.

“Please tell me that Marcie is here.” It was Emily, and her eyes were red, which made it obvious that she’d been crying.

“I don’t know, why?”

“’She’s been missing all day!” Emily wailed desperately, and more tears sprang from her eyes. “I tried her window earlier, at around four, and when she didn’t answer I thought maybe she was sleeping or eating dinner, but I’m worried. She usually checks on me by now, and she got so wasted last night…some guy showed up and made her act all crazy, and I get the feeling she didn’t come home last night.”

It took me a few seconds to realize that it was nine at night, and that I had no idea where Marcia was.

“Hell! I didn’t sleep well last night, which is probably why I slept all day. I don’t know if she’s here. Let me go find Curt or Pat, they’ll know.” I went into the kitchen and called Pat at work. He hadn’t heard her come in this morning, but hadn’t been looking either. Curt was back the hall, and said that nobody had entered or exited the house all day.

“Where the hell is she then?” I demanded. Irrational fear made my heart pitter patter in my chest, which was a wuss thing.

“She’s done this before. She has things that she…doesn’t tell me about. She disappears and then returns as though nothing happened. When I try and ask her questions she avoids them; sometimes I really worry about her. She has so many secrets piled up inside of her, one day she’s gonna explode.” Emily’s eyes grew big again, and I sighed. The two girls really loved one another.

“I’m sure she’s fine. Something must be holding her up.”

“No. She never stays out this long. Something bad must have happened. She doesn’t deal with her emotions very well. When they get too strong she drinks and smokes and does stupid things. The only emotion that she can actually deal with is anger, and you see how well she deals with it. She’s a freaking ticking time bomb, and I’m afraid she’s gonna blow.” I felt uneasy listening to her rant, but there was nothing more to do.

“Well, I’ll grab my shoes and we’ll go out looking for her.” I decided, knowing I’d be unable to sit waiting for her to return.

“She hangs out in…bad neighborhoods. You aren’t going to want to go there at night. Even when I’m with her I sometimes get scared. If I didn’t know she could kick butt I’d be terrified.”

“We have to go out and find her somehow, so we’ll just roam until-“

“Soda! Hey, man, I think you should come with me.” Randy was standing on the porch, obviously winded; his chest heaved and he was doubled over on himself.

“What is it?” I wasn’t in the mood for one of his stupid jokes.

“It’s your friend, Marcia. She’s at this alley, party thing, and she didn’t look to stable. She was running her mouth, talking shit and stuff, and she was practically falling over. I don’t know if its drugs or alcohol or what, but she’s gonna get herself in a lot of trouble. Might of already, from the looks of the bruise that’s forming around her eye.”

“Why in hell did you leave her there?” I yelled.

“Chill! She refused to come with me. When I left she was talking about beating the shit out of somebody, and I figured it was time to find you.”

Without another word I followed Randy, telling Emily to wait at the house until I brought Marcia back. It was pitch black out by now, and the crickets attempted to harmonize in the night. I ran full speed, even when Randy whined about having run all the way to my house. I had to know that she was alright. In the few weeks that she’d been with us, she’d grown on me. She didn’t always open up, but in those slight moments when she did she was utter perfection. Her lips tilted up into a small grin, and she was able to make anyone around her laugh. She needed help to be able to be like that all the time; she deserved that much.

We arrived, and she wasn’t there. But, some guy was lying on the ground moaning and groaning, and I figured he was the best place to start.

“Did a tall chick beat the shit out of you by any chance?” I asked him, deciding to be blunt rather than deal with pleasantries.

“That little bitch, I’m gonna hunt her down and kill her!” I took that as a yes.

“That wouldn’t be wise, considering she was drunk off her ass and still managed to take you down.” I pointed out, and the guy glared at me. “I’m looking for her. Do you have any idea where she went?”

“Crazy bitch took off that way, ranting about something.” He pointed to the right. It was past city limits, and there was nothing out there but fields, a dirt road, and a single bridge. My stomach knotted as I thought about that, and I took off into the night.

She was there, as I expected. She sat precariously on the edge of the bridge, which was a good twenty feet drop. Probably wouldn’t kill her, but I wasn’t willing to take any chances.

“Marcia, what in hell are you doing out here?”

“Thinking.” She responded, and I could hear the slur in her voice.

“Well, how about we think somewhere else?”

“You know, when you really think about it all of this is futile.” She said, and I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or simply speaking aloud. “Whether you have money or not, or what kind of childhood you have. It all doesn’t matter. In the end we’re all in the same boat. We’re born, we live, we die. Period. We can’t decide the cards we’re dealt, but we can decide the way we play the game. Someone who grew up privileged will be ranked on because they don’t know the horrors of the world, while someone like me who grew up with nothing will get picked on for having nothing. There’s always someone there to down on you. That’s why I don’t give a shit what people think.”

“That’s not such a bad outlook on life. It’s just lonely, because not caring what people think can go two ways. You can not care about the good and bad things, which isn’t good.”

“No, it’s more like I am going to do what I want and live my life without woes from other people. I mean, everybody tries to get on me about my behavior and bad attitude; teachers don’t trust my temper. In all honesty I can control that stuff, but I choose not to because that’s the way I want to live my life. I mean I know it’s shitty and most people would like to have any other life, but it’s mine and I’m surviving.”

“It doesn’t have to be shitty, like you said. Just because you grew up in the orphanage doesn’t mean you won’t get out.”

“For me it does, because things happened that I can’t change. For people like Emily, that’s true. She grew up there, but didn’t let anything touch her.”

“No, you didn’t let anything touch her.” I corrected. “Imagine what she would have turned out to be without you there. She might have been like-“ I stopped.

“No, go ahead and say it. She would have turned out like me, but that isn’t true. Things happened to me that don’t usually happen to foster kids. I’ve got shit luck, and it messes with me every chance it gets.” She was stepping onto uncharted territory, and curiosity got the better of me.

“Do you wanna explain? You’re thoughts are kinda everywhere.” I told her, but she shut down.

“Nah, I’m done thinking. I wanna do something fun. Can I take you somewhere?” She stood up and turned around to face me. She still had her dress on, but it was hitched up even higher, her hair was matted with blood and dirt and god knew what else. Her feet were bare, and she had some scratches and bruises.

“What’d you do?” I questioned. She shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter anymore. I’m done and over it. I now am ready to do something fun, so are you going to join me or not?” Before I could answer she took off running, and although she was drunk she was surprisingly steady on her feet. We ran through a few plowed fields and I wondered where she was taking me. Eventually she slowed down, and turned to face me. She had that naughty little grin on her face, and before I could grab her she extended her arms backwards and allowed herself to sail off the hill we were on. I ran after her, and saw that she was jumping.

“I found it a few years back!” she yelled up. “It’s like a trampoline, but bigger and in the ground.” She was right. Stretchy material blended in with the grass in the darkness. She jumped freely, and her dress grew even more disheveled on her body.

“Ready for a trick?” she called, and grinned mischievously at me.

“I don’t think we should try anything-“

“Don’t be silly!” she cut me off. “Of course, unless you’re scared,” she fluttered her eyelashes flirtatiously like I’d seen her do before, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m scared you’re going to break your neck.”

“Preposterous. I am perfectly capable of doing a few tricks on a measly trampoline.” She sounded offended, and I sighed.

I simply watched as she began jumping higher and higher, trying to gain air. Finally she really slammed off the ground, and bounced a good ten feet high. She took her arms out, and keeping her body straight she did a front flip. I expected her to land and be done, but as soon as her feet touched the ground her knees bent and she ricocheted off into a backflip. She landed perfectly, and started doing cartwheels, and her panties were in plain sight.

“Marcia, c’mon. Let’s get you home.”

“I’m not ready to go home. Let’s go swimming.” Her eyes sparked at the idea, and her lips were still turned up in a stupid grin.

“No. I’m taking you home.” I tried to sound stern, and she giggled.

“Whatever. You can go home, I’m going swimming.” She was running again, top speed, back in the direction we’d come. She ran onto the stretchy material, and used all her might to jump to the top of the hill. I followed her lead, and somehow had more trouble than her.

We arrived back at the bridge, this time at a lower elevation. The river started out shallow, but in the middle it was pretty deep. She ripped her dress up over her head and threw it into the dewy grass. She had on a pink cotton bra with matching watermelon underwear. I couldn’t help but laugh, and notice how muscular she was. I knew her arms were toned, but a six pack practically was on her stomach. She dove into river, head first, and screamed when the cold water touched her skin.

“Please join me?” she stepped up out of the water and pleaded. Goosebumps covered her body, and I sighed. She looked cute as hell with those big eyes all wide with drunken innocence, and so I took my shirt off, and dove in, thinking if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

I don’t know how much time passed. We laughed and splashed and swam for what seemed like an eternity. She was surprisingly good at swimming, like everything else. Her strokes were perfect, her form exact. We raced, and she beat me without me allowing it. Finally she announced her exhaustion, and lied on the shore, looking up at the sky.

“The moon is so pretty.” She was starting to sound more and more drunk, and her night high was definitely wearing off. I walked over, and simply stared at her in the moonlight. Her skin looked milky white, and her red hair was a good contrast. Her eyes were half open, when she spoke again.

“Will you dance with me?” she asked. She stood up, and her hair dripped down her back. Her long legs came towards me, and my heart started beating in my chest. She was gorgeous. I’d always been aware of pretty girls, but she was different. You weren’t supposed to find your sister gorgeous; or maybe you could? Anyone could be gorgeous right? I was mentally babbling and tried to shut it off.

“I don’t know…” I trailed off. I was getting really nervous and I couldn’t understand why. Nobody had ever acted like this with me before, and I was unsure of what lied ahead.

“Please? I always wanted a cute guy to dance with me in the moonlight.” Her tone was dead serious, and her eyes bore into mine. I looked away from the green intensity, and grabbed her hand. In the night we danced, both cold and wet and drunk-though in different ways-, but content. My hands were on her hips, her hands around my neck, and her head rested on my shoulder while my head was on hers.

I spun her around, held her close, and picked her up. It was one of those moments that seemed to last forever, until it ended. One second we were dancing, and the next second she passed out from exhaustion. I caught her before she could fall, and then scooped her up into my arms, grabbed her dress, and carried her home.

When I walked into the house, I thought Pat was going to kill me. They were all sitting around the television, which was on, but nobody was watching it. Everyone was there- all of our friends. They were tense, and when I entered they all jumped. Their eyes widened when they took in the sight of me holding Marcia half naked, and they started shouting. I made them quiet down as to not wake her.

“What in hell is going on?” Pat demanded in a terse whisper once the jumble of voices had silenced themselves.

“When I found her she was wasted, and she talked about going for a swim. Before I could stop her she jumped in the river out under the bridge, already unclothed. She swam for a little while, until I finally talked her into coming out. As soon as I grabbed her, she passed out and I had to carry her.” I don’t know why, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them the whole truth.

“That took you six hours? Don’t you realize that it will be dawn soon? You left us waiting here, expecting you to be back soon! Emily was frantic by the time I arrived home.”

“It took me a while to find her.” I lied smoothly, and then changed the subject. “Where is Emily?” I scanned the room, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“She went back to the orphanage. I told her that I’d let her know when we got Marcia, but I never expected it to take this long!” Pat was beyond angry.

“I’m sorry. Just, please, when she wakes up don’t take this out on her. Something happened, and I don’t know what, but it made her do this.” Once again I wondered what had sent her into this state. She was nervous a lot, but she didn’t seem the type to run away from her problems. The way she solved them wasn’t always the best answer, but nonetheless they were solved.

“We’ll see; I’m more pissed at you right now. I don’t set many rules, but I do like to know your whereabouts. All we need is for the cops to come snooping around here, and then they’ll realize that something fishy is up. She doesn’t know any better- her whole entire life has consisted of taking care of herself. I expect more out of you.”

“I’m sorry.” I told him earnestly. I was just thankful that it didn’t sound like he was going to say almost anything to Marcia.

“Whatever. Get her to bed, and then go to bed yourself.” I turned back the hall before I smiled. Pat had always been bad at being strict, and even when he said go to bed I knew that if I didn’t he wouldn’t yell at me. But, I wasn’t going to push him when he’d acted so indifferent about Marcia.

I took her back to her bed, and just as I tried to lay her down her fingers locked themselves around my neck.

“Don’t! He’s coming!” she screamed out. At first I didn’t know what she was talking about, but then I saw that her eyes were closed, and I realized that she was dreaming.

“Marcia, c’mon, you’re home and safe. Shh.” I laid her down, and a real sob left her chest. That one noise sent a pang of pain searing through my chest. I smoothed her hair over, and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. As I pulled away the feared look left her face, and she relaxed back into a deep sleep.