BeTheChange

That's not good. :O (I'm referring to the turn of events at the end, not your actual story. That's still as good as ever, lol.) 1. "Really I can..." It ...

Let's get the grammar nit picks over with first. 1. When Martin is talking, I think you should omit the sentence "He's bad". Martin is referring to all the men, ...

Ack! That cliffhanger! I only noticed two major grammatical errors in the whole thing,. 1. The word "immediately" is spelled wrong. 2. "Help" should be either italicized or in quotes, ...

The grammar has vastly improved in this chapter. :) You do switch tenses once, though. Don't worry, it's not just you--I've had that problem, as well. I wonder what this ...

Your grammar is better in this version, although you do use a few too many commas. I like this story for the most part. The plot isn't the most original ...

Hey! I got kind of burned out after a while, but I'm back to review the rest of your works! :) I won't go into every grammar error, but at ...

Okay, please continue this! (And your Warriors fic, too!) Um, no pressure...lol. The grammar--Still needs some work. The plot--*incoherent screaming* WHAT IS GOING ON? I must know more. I mean, ...

Write. More. Of. This. Please! Grammar/spelling--still need work, but don't detract from the overall story. Plot--intriguing, though not much happened in this part? I feel like there was some foreshad

I still like this, but the spelling and grammar need work. I'm very glad there was some backstory about the new Clans, otherwise I'd be so confused, lol! Also, it's ...

Yay, another story of yours! :D Okay, so...I liked the writing. I have to say, it waste exceptional, but it wasn't bad. The plot seems cohesive and, well, like what ...

1. You use "lbs" twice in this chapter, but when writing something like this, it should be written out--"pounds". 2. I did like the development of plot and character. 3. ...

Let's get right into this critique! :) First of all, I don't think the phrase "gum chewing, music loving" is needed. We can already tell that Ken is these things ...

This is the last work of yours on YWS...And I have to say, the same problems are present, but you have a very good grasp of plot. I'm not going ...

Love the cliffhanger! You should continue this, honestly.... However, the grammar (and spelling, this time especially) still need a bit of work. "Shoos" should be "shoes", the capitalization of "then"

In case you're wondering: I plan to review all your works, and all the works of the other users I'm following. It's a crazy new goal of mine. :) I ...