12+ Violence Mature Content

Threads Of Destiny:Echoes Of The Pendant Book Two-The Raven's Shadow Chapter Six-Seven

CHAPTER SIX

Raven opened her eyes. Once again, she sat up to see herself in the unusual forest. I have to get back to Shadow. Maybe she is still waiting there for me, Raven thought. She ran at a fast pace and reached the spot where Shadow was waiting for her. “I’m back,” she called. “How long did it take?”

“Only a few minutes,” Shadow responded. “How’d you get back?”

“I swam down through the abyss,” Raven said. She peered through the dense leaves to see Dylan. She almost threw up.

There was blood everywhere. Dylan was still, blood staining his clothes. He had deep gashes down his back and chest. Figure was gone, but there were purple-eyed people guarding him, walking around, turning at every sound or rustle. “Is he…” Raven didn’t want to say it. “No, otherwise the people wouldn’t be guarding him,” Shadow replied. “What…do we do?” Raven asked, her feeling of dread and panic rising with every breath.

“I came up with a plan while you were gone, but it will take two people, and you weren’t here yet. We can sneak over there quietly and rustle the branches and leaves, making it sound like someone was running away. Then, we can just sneak in and save Dylan.” Shadow gestured to a spot a distance away from them.

“Good plan,” Raven whispered. They ran over (quietly) to the spot, and made as much noise as they could. “Aaaahhhh, the people are here!” Shadow screamed and ran, her footsteps loud and clear. Then, as the people ran to see what was going on, Shadow and Raven ran back and into the clearing. Shadow motioned for her to untie the rope behind Dylan. She gave a slight nod and rushed to the back as Shadow broke down the cage. By the time she was finished, she heard footsteps coming their way. “They’re back!” Shadow hissed. Together, they dragged him into the bushes, hiding themselves completely just as the others burst in. “It was a distraction,” one snarled. “Find him!” Raven gasped in fear. “Come on!” Shadow muttered.

They sprinted.

An arrow shot towards Raven and hit her in the ankle. “Ouch!”

“Hurry!” Shadow whispered. Raven closed her eyes and pulled the arrow out. Three more came flying.

“Raven, you have to wake up! You have to wake Dylan up! It will save you both. I’ll be fine, I’ll hide,” Shadow added when she saw Raven’s look of concern. “I promise I’ll be back to save you and the others from Figure. A deal is a deal.”

Shadow smiled. “I’d never thought I’d be allies with Dylan’s girlfriend,” she said teasingly. Raven turned red with embarrassment and smiled back. “I’d never thought I’d be allies with the Cobra Tribe’s former assassin!”

“Well, see you!” Shadow called.

Raven tried to feel her way into the real world. She suddenly felt something. Someone. As if on cue, the world began to fade around her. She closed her eyes. Bring me back.

CHAPTER SEVEN

“Raven.” She blinked and saw Saber, kneeling beside her and looking at her. Like last time, he was worried. “I’m fine,” Raven said, and sat up. Her ankle was throbbing with pain, but she figured she’ll see the nurse afterwards. Besides, Dylan must be in even more pain. “Thank you for bringing me back,” Raven murmured, and gave him a quick hug. Then, she ran over to Dylan. He was in the same exact state as if still in the mindset. Raven tried not to look away. She had to help him. Figure tortured him and left him there. This is what we are dealing with here. “Is he dead?” Saber asked, concern clouding his gaze. Raven gently pressed her hand to his blood-stained chest. It was beating, but it was slowing down. “Not yet. I won’t let him,” Raven said, heart pounding.

“He swallowed a lot of water,” Saber said. “Griffin did CPR on him.”

Raven shook him firmly. “Wake up!” Tears started filling her eyes. She blinked them back.

Dylan suddenly spasmed and coughed up a gallon of water. His breathing was raspy and uneven, but at least he was alive. Raven smiled with relief. Dylan coughed some more. He gently blinked, and blinked again.

Dylan tried sitting up. Saber pushed him back down. “Don’t get up! You guys are so stubborn!”

Saber ran off. To get cloth to make him stop bleeding, Raven realized. He really is a great friend. “R-aven…” Dylan’s voice was weak and shaking.

“Shhh,” Raven hissed quietly. “Don’t waste your energy.”

Dylan struggled to speak again. “R-Raven, they have the pendant…” he managed to choke out, then relaxed his head again. He closed his eyes for a brief second, then opened them again.

Saber returned with the cloth. “Saber, they have the pendant,” Raven murmured. “Okay, you got to explain the whole story. Let’s go back to the Base. We can retrieve the pendant later,” Saber said, exasperated.

After an hour, they were all cleaned up. Raven got a bandaid from the nurse, while Dylan was cared for in the emergency room. He limped out. Raven noticed that the doctors had washed all the blood away and bandaged his wounds. Saber supported him. They all went upstairs and sat in the bedroom.

“Listen, Saber. We went to the lake to cool off for a bit. Suddenly, the water turned a shade of violet and an abyss opened up beneath us and sucked us in,” Raven explained, trying to summarize all that happened. She explained the fake Dylan, the actual Dylan, Figure, the purple-eyed people, and how Axel was part of it. She also explained to Dylan and Saber about the help from Shadow, and the deal she made with her. “It’s crazy that Shadow would do that for us,” Saber muttered. “I know! I find it hard to believe. But I do believe it. I never took the time to know Shadow.” Dylan whispered. His voice was still hoarse. 

“I arrived alone,” Dylan said, throwing the topic of Shadow off to the side. “I explored the place, and immediately knew where I was. The mindset. The Spirit Realm. Then, Figure found me. It cornered me and the purple-eyed people started closing in. You already explained the rest.” Dylan nodded at Raven. “Okay, we need a better name for ‘purple-eyed people’,” Saber said, throwing his hands into the air. “The Spellbound.” 

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
dragonight9
Review

I'm to review the next chapter. I'm so excited to see what happens in the Shadowlands this chapter.

That was straight dragon FIRE

Chapter 6

I'm so glad Raven made it, though I can't help but feel like she's relying on Saber to rescue her body from the pool in the real world. Will she be trapped there if her body dies?

The rescue was quick but Shadow having time to plan it helped it make sense.

Here I thought the purple-eyed people were like zombies, but they can talk and think on their own it seems.

I enjoyed the dialogue between Shadow and Raven, the teasing was great for the relationship between these characters.

Chapter 7

I liked how Raven took a moment to acknowledge Saber's kindness (especially considering his feelings towards Dylan. Also, I'm surprised to hear they know CPR in this world.

I wonder if Dylan's powers transferred into the Shadowlands at all, or not. His body was in water when he arrived after all.

The discussion at the end summarized things nicely and hearing about what happened to Dylan was great.

I love the name you came up with for the people under Figure's control.


Some loose scales

Chapter 6

I wonder how Raven knew how to get back to the real world. Telling someone to simply wake from a dream like this doesn't seem very helpful to me. I was hoping for some specific tip or trick that would help. Raven just went from not knowing how to escape, to doing so on command. Even having her think about the method as she uses it would be nice.

Chapter 7

Her ankle was throbbing with pain, but she figured she’ll see the nurse afterwards.
I think the proper English here is "she figured she'd..." since the full word is 'she would' or 'she should.'

Raven shook him firmly. “Wake up!” Tears started filling her eyes.
It was a bit unclear what makes Dylan wake here. Last time it seemed impossible to wake someone who's mind is in the Shadowlands. Perhaps if Shadow told her about a spot the barrier between the worlds was thin she could wake herself, then trying to wake Dylan would work.

To get cloth to make him stop bleeding, Raven realized. He really is a great friend.
Either the second line should be "He really WAS a great friend" or it should be in italics if she was thinking that line.

I love how you end off the chapter with the ominous sounding title for the enchanted people. My critique is that it would be more impactful if it was on its own line.


As mighty wing soar overall

I really enjoyed the two chapters here and you were right to fit them together. I liked the simple rescue plan and how it works but Raven gets injured (always a price to pay).

Then the group strategize how to move forward and deal with the darkness. I'd imagine fighting Figure on his own turf would be difficult, but perhaps their only option since he seems to be able to drag them to his world without their consent.


Final wisdom of the dragon friend

You did a great job of describing things here. Now that the world, characters and scene are set there doesn't need to be as much description.

May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.

Thank you so much for your amazing feedback and I love hearing what you think! It really helps for when I might publish more. I should add more details, and you're right, so it might make things clearer lol. THANKS AGAIN!!!!
Love,
~CATS~~~

User avatar
AlexWrites
Review

Hey, CATS! This is Alex, back at it again, I'm not going down without a fight, mind you. Yeehaw!

Chapter 6

Nice and sweet, I like it- Shadow and Raven rescue Dylan with a classic plan of distraction. While you couldn't go wrong with that, they overrated a bit while things should've been executed more subtly. Breaking a few twigs loud enough to heard from a distance would've done the job, just fine. Nothing wrong with a melodrama though.

I liked the details. Raven returned only after a few minutes so the time here works almost at the same pace as the real world. Also waking up to escape was so ingenious and original, I'm utterly impressed.

The friendship is certainly unconventional, or the deal I should refer to it as. Even more so, considering even Shadow has a crush on Raven. And Ravena? Befriending Cobra's former assasin, what would Dylan think? XD

Not much to comment on the technical stuff as it was rather short, so you're good to go. I was s little confused though, as to how they consciously managed to wake themselves up as Raven had no control on it earlier.

Chapter 7

Raven tried not to look away. She had to help him.


Such a humane details, love it! She isn't able to look at someone she cares so much for, this deep in pain. But she must put her personal feelings aside to treat him, bravo!

It was beating, but it was slowing down. “Not yet. I won’t let him,” Raven said, heart pounding.


She's clearly not letting emotions get the best of her. She relies on logic to cure him, but let's her love for him motivate her actions. She's really developing as an independent individual now, great character arc!

“Griffin did CPR on him.”


Diving in the medical terms, not bad CATS. Yes, you perform a CPR when one's breathing or heartbeat is regular, probably caused by all the trauma Dylan's body endured here. You've clearly done your research, nice job.

Raven realized. He really is a great friend.


Almost feel bad for him now. He's a good fellow, but stuck in the friendzone. Sorry man, but Dylan is the LEAD y'know? XD

“The Spellbound.” Cool name! Eager to know more of their motives.

I still find all this extreme knowledge that Dylan suddenly has, unexplained and peculiar. I think you could've explained better why and how he knows all that he does.

This, too, didn't have much plot and the phrasing looks all great, onto the next chapter I go!
Good chapters, had a nice experience reviewing.

Regards
Alex

Thank you!!! Love he compliments ;)

Going through your old reviews...



The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it.
— Sylvia Plath