CHAPTER FIVE
Shadow led Raven to a clearing. Raven gasped, but then slapped a hand over her mouth. She did not want to alert the purple-eyed people roaming around, guarding the place. Dylan was in the center, tied to a cage as a dark person loomed over him. Figure, she guessed.
“I’m surprised that you have survived this long. Tough, huh?” Figure had a sharp edge to his voice. Dylan was glaring at him, pain and hatred in his blue gaze. At least he’s not a purple-eyed person! Raven thought. She suddenly noticed a deep and long gash, starting from his neck, all the way down his side. Blood was seeping out, slowly, and he seemed to get weaker by the moment. His hands were desperately trying to untie the rope wrapped tightly around his wrists, but it was no use.
“What do we do!?” Raven whisper-yelled. “Shadow?” She looked over to see her frozen in panic.
“I don’t know!”
Figure began hitting Dylan, again and again with the sword that Raven had just noticed. Dylan cried out with pain.
“Raven…you’re fading!” Shadow gasped.
“What?”
Raven looked down to see her hands, but now she could see through them! “I don’t know what is happening!” She felt like she was about to burst into tears. “I’ll be here waiting. Find a way back…” Shadow’s last words were muffled as she slowly faded into the background.
Raven gasped for air. Saber was glancing at her worriedly. “Oh, thank God that you are alive!” Realization struck her once again. I’m alive! Back to the real world! “N-no…” Raven tried to talk more in a panicked voice, but that was all that came out of her. “Don’t talk.” Saber tried stopping her. Raven ignored him and took a deep breath. “I have to go back!!! Dylan’s there! I-I need to save him!”
“What? How? Who?” A series of questions burst out of Saber’s mouth.
“Please!!! I’ll explain later!” Raven looked over at Dylan, lying a few lengths from her. Suddenly, gashes started appearing on his soaked body, blood seeping from them. Saber gasped in shock. “PLEASE!” Raven was growing more desperate by the second. “I don’t know how!” Saber shouted. “And whatever you are doing, I’m sure that it is risky and dangerous!”
“I’m going to swim back,” Raven insisted. And before Saber could stop her, she ran towards the lake and waded in, plunging into the still, dark water. Raven glanced down and saw the unusual violet abyss. She tried swimming down, but soon ran out of air. This is what will bring me back, she told herself. Raven went limp and grew still, closed her eyes, and let the swirling mass of water drive her down, down, down, into the purple mouth gaping open below her. She was going back to save Dylan and free Shadow and the others. Now I know. This is my destiny. I don’t know whether I’ll survive. I just know I was born to do this. The abyss swallowed her up whole. Darkness clouded her gaze.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,736 Reviews
Hi Cats,
Thought I'd leave another review since the last chapter left me wanting more.
That was straight dragon FIRE
The revelation of Figure and how Dylan is chained up makes me think Raven will be the main hero of this book.
When Raven starts to wake it makes me wonder if she was just pulled in by accident or if Dylan getting weaker had something to do with it.
Of course Saber is there to help, but I wondered for a moment if he was going to let Dylan drown (can he even drown?), which is why he didn't wake along with Raven.
The image of a purple maw at the bottom of this lake was a great visual, though I wonder if it was mere coincidence Dylan and her swam there.
Some loose scales
It might just be a while since I read the first chapters of this book but I don't remember Raven knowing a character named Figure. But I may be wrong.
Having Raven declare she was born to free those in the Shadowlands seemed a bit out of nowhere. If she was simply saying she was born to save others than it makes more sense but that can be confusing considering what she's doing as she thinks it.
As mighty wing soar overall
Another great, fast-paced chapter of the story.
Dylan is in trouble and the occupants of the Shadowlands seem to be controlled by Figure.
Now Raven is diving in to save the day. I hope she's not getting in over her head.
Final wisdom of the dragon friend
You did a good job of describing things this chapter. It really brought me into the moment.
May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.
I%u2019m so glad that you loved reading this! I%u2019m so glad you read and gave feedback for this chapter, and thanks so much for letting me know what you think!!! Appreciate it!
Hey, CATS! Alex here, riding on the tide of Review Day rush. You know how this goes so let's jump right in
I must admit, I miss getting those loads of points like in book 1 but following the chapters seperately is much easier in the long run.
Well this was short treat. Not much action but I'll still try to help any way I can.
First I found the clarity regarding where this peculiar world really is situated, really satisfying. The purple abyss beneath the healing lake where Raven and Dylan were playing last. It's like reality and this stimulation are somehow connected and intertwined. It's even more interesting if the dead are trapped here, does it lead to afterlife further down the line? I'm guessing you meant this alternate dimension to have multiple entry points, as dreams are clearly another way to get in them. This is how Raven awoke now and how she and Dylan ventured into place the first time in their sleep.
I feel it's my duty as a reader to point out that the unexplained certainty to overcome first Dylan and now Raven, slightly annoying. I'd get it if she had a gut feeling or a legend to go by and was still in denial but this 'just knowing' is an overused cliche that doesn't seem to fit.
Additionally, the detail here looked technically inaccurate to me. All it takes is one big sway of the sword to kill, maybe a few. But multiple blows find unnecessary. But I don't think Figure is trying to kill Dylan here, but only to inflict him so as to torture him. Using a big sword for that sounds overboard, if you get what I mean. The use of a knife would've fit better here. It could've been that you meant a small sword, but perhaps you should try using a specific word for it if that's the case. I've guessed you were suggesting the usual big swords, as you fail to mention otherwise.
It was nice to see Raven in the lead for once. Even the previous chapter, we didn't see much of Dylan but there is still a specific reason still chapter stands out. Raven is now rising above her role of the mere love interest of the lead. She's climbing the ladder of her own heroic destiny now - to save Dylan. Even Saber has more of a leading experience, as the leader of Eclipse. Its empowering to her character, who's always been in the sidelines, finally make her place in the world fighting evil on her own. Great chapter.
It was nice reviewing this, see you in the next chapter.
Regards
Alex
Thank you AGAIN. I don't know how you make your reviews so likeable. Keep reviewing, you certainly have talent!!!!!!!