z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

The birth of Nova Sloane

by vampricone6783


*This story is underneath my folder titled “Clowns, magic, murder, and lies”. It’s from my “Clowns, magic, murder, and lies” stories. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*



“She’s beautiful, like you.” John said.

Penelope held the baby in her arms, her and John’s daughter. She couldn’t believe it. They had a child together. What was she thinking? Of course she could be his wife, love was love, anything was possible.

“What are you going to call her?” John asked.

Penelope had a name in mind, a name that was crawling at the corners. A cute, mystical name.

“Her name is Nova. Nova Ann Sloane.” Penelope said. The name felt real and true, just right for their daughter.

“It’s a wonderful name for a wonderful girl.” John said.

He kissed Nova on the forehead, who giggled with delight.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments


User avatar
12 Reviews

Points: 39
Reviews: 12

Donate
Sun Mar 31, 2024 9:35 pm
View Likes
Tambo wrote a review...



Hey! Tambo here for a short review! :D

This was a lovely short story that I read to my little sister before she went to bed.
This story left me feeling warm and humid. I didn’t know what to expect from the title until I read it. I also just wanted to say that Nova was really unique! Remember when you were in grade 2 or 3 and you would have to write a narrative and it would start with “Once upon a time there was a man called Bob”. :P
Anyways, hope to more positive stories like this in the future.
Have a great day or night (wherever you are).
Sincerely, Tambo.




Random avatar

Points: 0
Reviews: 0

Donate
Wed Mar 27, 2024 10:44 am
View Likes
Spooderman says...



Nova is an awesome name! Love your story! Great job






Thanksss



User avatar
231 Reviews

Points: 40897
Reviews: 231

Donate
Tue Mar 26, 2024 2:41 pm
View Likes
RavenAkuma says...



'Nova' is, indeed, a really cool name ~ Cute short story! <3






Thank you! I do cuteness from time to time%u2026



User avatar
211 Reviews

Points: 23158
Reviews: 211

Donate
Tue Mar 26, 2024 6:01 am
View Likes
OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...



Hello again! I'm Orabella, here with a quick review. ^^

I absolutly love the little message here about love - like Kate said it's so wholesome and I am here for that. I feel like by itself the situation here isn't really that different or... unique? But the way you describe it is actually so amazing. You actually lifted my heart with this, and it's just so amazingly sweet and wholesome how much Penelope loves her baby - I can feel that motherly love radiating off of the screen, and it doesn't feel fake at all! It feels real and true, just like her name. (And a very pretty name it is.) :)

They had a child together. What was she thinking?

If you're looking for any suggestions, this is the only thing I could find that could possibly use editing. When you read these lines, it feels like it's saying that she didn't know what she was thinking about having a child together, as if it was not something she wanted and regretted doing, but that is immediately disproven in the following line. (So not really that important) If you want to make it more clear, try to not let that line tie into the one before, as I think that's where the confusion comes from.

Of course she could be his wife, love was love, anything was possible.

Besides the line I've already referenced, I think this is my favorite from this short passage. It's so full of hope and you can feel that through the character's words, no special poetic wording necessary. I think that's what I like about your writing best, throughout all your pieces. You manage to bring the beauty (or horror, as the case may be) out of the most simplest things. :D

I haven't read your story up to this point unfortunately, but I can say that I will! I love your unique style of writing and I'm sad I didn't read much of it sooner. Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing, and please have a lovely day/night. You said to enjoy, and I can wholeheartedly say I did. :) Keep writing! :D




User avatar
4103 Reviews

Points: 254288
Reviews: 4103

Donate
Mon Mar 25, 2024 9:10 pm
View Likes
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

“She’s beautiful, like you.” John said.

Penelope held the baby in her arms, her and John’s daughter. She couldn’t believe it. They had a child together. What was she thinking? Of course she could be his wife, love was love, anything was possible.

“What are you going to call her?” John asked.

Penelope had a name in mind, a name that was crawling at the corners. A cute, mystical name.

“Her name is Nova. Nova Ann Sloane.” Penelope said. The name felt real and true, just right for their daughter.

“It’s a wonderful name for a wonderful girl.” John said.

He kissed Nova on the forehead, who giggled with delight.


Well this appears to be one of those increasingly rare stories where we actually have an entirely wholesome experience throughout. I haven't seen one of those in some time and this is an especially sweet one that you seem to have here. I'm sure plenty of pain will befall these characters soon but this isolated little scene truly is a neat little piece of happiness here.

I am loving the way that you introduce this name here. Just giving it this very sort of normal family vibe while at the same time it makes you think just a little about how the father didn't know this name until this point which does raise a couple of question about how this could have gone. Its just enough of a bit of doubt to have us guessing and I love that. For a piece this short, that really helps in terms of making just that little bit more exciting.

The little passage at the start also contributes quite nicely to this I think. Its just enough reminiscing there to really get you thinking a little bit. I think that's quite lovely.

Overall I think its a powerful little piece this one, despite being so small and simple on the surface and I do always love a good soft scene like this.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate





I wondered why we put villains in our stories when we have plenty of them in real life; then I realized that maybe we wanted stories where the good guy wins.
— nogutsnoglory