*This story is underneath my folder titled “Clowns, magic, murder, and lies”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Lucien walked through the dried leaves, searching for Bellona’s grave. Why couldn’t the car crash take them both? Better yet, why couldn’t they both survive?
The crash had to take her. The love of his life, the smile that sparkled his days.
Bellona didn’t belong in such a gloomy, lonesome cemetery. Matter of fact, she didn’t belong in any cemetery. She told him that when she died, she wanted to be buried underneath the cherry blossom tree at the park.
But when Lucien told her family that, they vehemently disagreed, saying that “no one deserved to see death at a park, she needs to be with her family”.
That wasn’t how Lucien saw it. Lucien saw it as Bellona being free.
It was no use, for she was already buried six feet below, being feasted on by maggots and all manner of things grisly and gruesome.
“LuCiEn?” A voice croaked behind him.
Lucien stopped. It sounded so familiar, yet so distorted, so gargled.
“LuCiEn?” The voice croaked again.
Lucien turned around, facing the voice’s owner.
Her skin was rotted, molding. Bugs crawled in and out of her lavender dress, half of the flesh on her mouth was gone, revealing a set of yellowing teeth.
But it was Bellona, clear as his own existence. He knew not how she was standing before him, but he wouldn’t question it, as the universe worked in strange, mysterious ways. If she was there, he would let her stay. It would be rather cruel to tell her to go away.
“LuCiEn…is tHaT yOU? I mIsSeD yOU…tHaNk yOU fOr vIsItInG mE. I lOvE yOU sO mUch…”
Bellona seemed sad, like she wished that she could cry. Lucien’s heart broke a little. Bellona didn’t deserve to be sad, she deserved to rest peacefully.
“I hOpe thAt tHiS dOeSn’T hUrt tOo mUcH.”
“What-“
Bellona pulled him close, so close that he could smell her mildew breath, see her pale, milky white eyes.
“ThErE iS rOoM iN mY cOfFin fOr yOU.”
“Nothing you do can hurt me.” Lucien said with a soft smile.
He was going to join his beloved on the other side, he was going to sleep peacefully, forevermore.
Lucien swallowed down the animalistic, instinct scream as Bellona pulled out his heart with grimy, dried-up fingers that had peeling dark-brown skin. It didn’t reflect who he really was, it was just primal, deep-rooted, and tedious.
He would rest at last.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Already I’m feeling for the MC here. Survivor’s guilt is no joke.
Also that he thinks about that she doesn’t belong on a cemetery… Ahhh
Oooh that is a creepy, disgusting description and yet the MC keeps so calm. I like the contrast! And how he just takes this in stride bc the universe just does stuff like that.
Oh man oh man that he just calmly reacts to her like this, that he just goes “yes love, take me to your coffin with you” is just… Ahhh my heart!
I like how you portray her speech.
I really like this story. Good job! :3
Thx! ^v^ this is really the only story with these two characters. Maybe I should make more!!
I like to do a little bit of horror but I do have a soft spot for romance and literally any kind of love, so I hope that translates into my work. ^v^
Hey there! I was pretty surprised how it ended. I guess it's coz I haven't read any of your other stories, but judging by their titles, this is pretty much your style!
This began with a walk, ended with sleep, eternal sleep.... Nice transitioning.
Your descriptions, your expression of thought is beautiful, enough to help you get into the character's shoes. Grave under the cherry blossom tree in the park, symbolising the person's soul to be free was a nice touch. Asked of course, the end is without a doubt for me, very surprising.
The only thing I couldn't understand was the kind of voice you wanted to give Bellona..... Maybe you could tweak that part a bit.
I really enjoyed reading this little story, Happy Writing!
Thank you for the review!