*These are five short stories from my “Clowns, magic, murder, and lies” stories. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*
1.Why my clowns’ hands are completely white.
This isn’t a scenario or a story
It’s just straight up facts.
You may have noticed that most of my clown characters hands (Excluding the ones that wear gloves or have claws) are completely white, like their face.
Why is that? Aren’t they human?
Yes, yes they are.
But they completely cover their hands with makeup to hide their humanness. They’re performing for kids, after all.
The kiddos can’t know they are human.
So yeah.
2.Ava wanted to take Nova to the clown show when they were young.
“Hey, Nova? Want to go to that clown show?”
“NO!”
“Why not? It’s gonna be so much fun!”
“Ava…it’s..they’re…scary.”
“No they’re not!”
“They are!”
“Fine, okay. We won’t go.”
“Good.”
3.Penelope and John discuss their relationship.
“John?”
“Yes?”
“You’re getting into something messy. You could get hurt.”
“I don’t care, Penelope. I love you.”
“You sure?”
“I am more than sure. I’m ready.”
4.At least Felicity loves Ethan.
“I didn’t mean to scare them!”
“Of course not, dear.”
“I didn’t want them to run away.”
“Why would you?”
“I just-“
“I know. It’s alright. I’m here. I love you.”
“Thanks. I love you too.”
5.Hayley and Nova make small talk.
“Hey Hayley! How are you?”
“I’m good. How is “life”? “
“It’s okay, I guess. Kind of boring.”
“Really?”
“I said kind of, not entirely.”
“Yeah. You’re right. But with Philippa around, there’s always excitement.”
“Yes. Yes, there is. I’m so lucky to have her.”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hello Vampricone this is gem here leaving a review!
You write like a true script writer, with an emphasis on dialogue and its meaning. However, I think that if you focused on bringing us into the scene of a particular story, just one chapter and expanding on it and giving us the imagery of the setting and the characters body language movement and even facial expressions, it would definitely make it a bit easier to capture the full attention of your audience/readers.
In the dialogue in the second story, you give your character a hesitation in dialogue that is very human. I say that is probably my favorite scene as it communicates well that the character is nervous and scared!
Doing one chapter at a time is by no means simple or anything less than posting several together it just gives you a chance to expand on your characters and give your readers more of a connection to the story and environment! I cant wait to see what else you do in the future!
Keep writing! This is gem signing off!
gem- he/him~
Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!
First off, I really like the structure you used. I really like to read / write flash fiction (flash fiction is a type of story that’s really short). And even though the stories are really short, you still gave your characters distinguishable personalities.
However, I feel like it gets a bit confusing as I can’t exactly tell who’s talking. I think this story would benefit from dialogue tags. Dialogue tags are added after dialogue to make it clear who’s talking. Example: ”Where are we going?” asked Emily.
Also, I feel as if the first section “Why my clowns’ hands are completely white” should have been formatted as an author’s note rather than like a story.
I hope you have a good day!
—Gengar
Hi hi! I'm gonna leave a quick review <3
These are so short yet so awesome. I love how you wrote them to be short (which, well, they're short stories) yet fill them with so much information. Number 3 was probably my favorite, and I really want to read more and find out what happens next in it, including finding more about the plot!
Over all, I really hope to read more and nice job!
Story 2 was relatable because ever since stumbling upon the IT trailer, I have been scared of clowns!