*This story is underneath my folder titled “Zeze and Zuzu the clowns”. Gacha Club character designs are underneath my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Enjoy!*
“Alright, who would like to recite the next poem? I’m thinking….Andrea Clarke!” Mr. Dankworth said.
Carter Turner watched as Andrea Clarke made her way to the front of the classroom, holding a piece of paper in her hands.
She wore the white dress school uniform, brown hair held up in a half-up style with a light blue bow, green eyes darting around nervously. Andrea wasn’t much of a talker, but of course, Mr. Dankworth had to call on her. He always called on the kids who didn’t want to speak.
“You didn’t have to walk up here. You could have stayed in your seat.” Mr. Dankworth said when Andrea made it to the front.
Her face flushed red with embarrassment. She was about to walk back to her seat, but Mr. Dankworth said:
“No. You came all this way; why don’t you just present now?”
Andrea stepped back and took a deep breath. Carter could see that she was near tears, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to embarrass her any further.
“Roses aren’t always red
Violets were never blue
If I leave for another life
Will that be the end of me and you?”
“Well done. Very thought-provoking.” Mr. Dankworth said.
“It’s-it’s nothing, really. It’s a basic poem.” Andrea said.
“But you put your own spin to it. Thank you.”
Mr. Dankworth gestured for Andrea to sit down, who hastily ran to her seat. She spoke up; she didn’t falter. Carter wouldn’t blame her if she did. He himself didn’t like speaking up. Last time he was called on, he stuttered through the whole thing.
Perhaps he should ask her out to the spring dance. He never saw her attend before and it would be nice to not be alone.
Besides, Andrea seemed like someone he’d get along with. Maybe they would be something more…
No! He was just going to ask her out only for kindness and friendship, nothing else.
Nothing else at all…
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
hello... me again.... are you sick of my reviews yet (jk,, hopefully XD)
I adored this one. It was such a sweet premise, and I also related a lot because my teachers used to ALWAYS pick on me to answer questions or read my work to the class, probably because I was too quiet. But I always hated it haha.
I like that though Carter clearly has a bit of a crush on Andrea, he doesn't outright mention it or talk about wanting to date her or anything, he just alludes to it:
It's just sweet that he corrects himself and says it's just for friendship, even though we know perhaps he would like something more, he tries to be respectful!
I also really liked this part:
Even though it was a kind of simple poem, Mr. Dankworth can clearly see Andrea is shy and awkward about it and is very kind towards her, i wish my teachers said things like this XD
Yes, kindness is important to me and so I put in my works as much as I can because I admire that trait.
Glad you enjoyed!
Hi there, vampricone! Dropping by to give you a review. I will be using the YWS'mores method to help structure my review.
The Top Graham Cracker: Ooo! Based on the literary work description, I feel like this is gonna be a good one! I do enjoy slice of life type of stories. I see there's also gonna be some poetry in this! It's nice to see you dabble in it every once in a while, so let's keep reading.
The Slightly Burnt Marshmallow:
Change the comma to a semicolon in both examples.
Besides that, I see nothing else to critique!
The Melty Chocolate Bar This was super cute! I really enjoyed Carter's fascination with Andrea and how he listened intently to her as she read her poem - as someone who works with students, I do appreciate whenever students are silent when one of them is reading aloud! I also like the detailed descriptions of her appearance; she sounds super cute. I thought her poem was a little awkward and, to be entirely frank, boring, but it went well with her age and lack of experience with writing poetry.
My favorite lines were these:
The Bottom Graham Cracker: Overall, this was good and I enjoyed it! Here's hoping Andrea says yes and that they have a good time at the dance. I'm sure she's never been, as she seems super shy, so hopefully she says yes and comes out of her shell a bit.
I hope this review was a bit helpful.
~Iggy
So glad you enjoyed!
I always wanted to add that the kids are middle schoolers. ^v^