Alright so I have to write a poem for my writing class and well poems aren't my thing I really don't stick to any rules when I write, I just write. So please tell me if this a poem and if this isn't please help. Thanks for reading!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Wow, I love it!! Your poem is written with passion, and that's the number one thing you need. i could go on and on about the beautiful imagery of this poem, but that would make the administrators think I was doing it for the points. So I'm just going to say..one word..I think it's perfect. Really, I do, it's the way you wrote it that makes me think that. Even though you wrote it some while ago, it seems like lyrics to a song.... A perfect melody...
I'm going to re-work the lines
I want to know if you meant it,
I’ve thought about it countless times.
I used to look at it
all the time; dont use 'time' and 'times' so close together
still do sometimesperiod
truth is comma
I’ve thought of a couple different ways you need to use language that is more complex. You're just stating things over and over.
that I could ask youdash -
but I didn’t have the guts.
I want to add you
but I can’t bring myself to 'the you/to combination doesn't sound very good
I don’t know what I want well you've been stating what you want the entire time..
but to be honest
if I had the choice of anyone I know it wouldn’t be you
at least not the way we are
maybe if I gave it time
but I think about you
sometimes I think about you why are you re-iterating this?
when I listen to the radio,
before I go to sleep,
if I’m being honest
sometimes while I sleep again, why the repitition?
and I don’t know if that’s enough
and I don’t know if I want it to be
truth isdash -
I’m scared
Your flow is wayy too choppy. It read likes this:
The ball rolled on the floor
sometimes i roll the ball
the ball is red
to be honest I don't like red
It could be much better with a few simple fixes! Good luck and keep writing!
I absolutely love this entire piece. And yes I would say its a poem. So i say its amazing and truly hope you keep working on more^^ Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soulkana<3
haha ok just so everyone knows I didn't purposefully just like my own poem just so you know. I didn't know what I was doing haha
If you don't believe me you can look at my other works. 