Okay so those of you who read my procrastination thing and didn't say anything about my poem thansk a lot :p but I figured out a title without help and it's done no changing the title now so tell me what you think of my poem even thought it doesn't really matter now anyways.
Leaves are falling all around
As we ask what happened to our summer
We start school again
And get back into the rhythm
It's too chilly for sleeveless
And too warm for winter coats
Nature's bracing for cold
We rake in our backyards
And crunch in beautiful debris
The trees turn pretty colors
Of oranges and yellows-
Like fire-
Before they're naked and unshielded
We go begging for candy,
Run around and try to scare each other
There's hay rides and corn mazes
We get together with family
Around a big turkey
And think about pilgrims
And it's a preview of the next gathering to soon come
Lights go up
And we write letters to Santa
Who doesn't seem to come soon enough
Not until you're just ready
For the whole world to slow down
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140,730 Literary Works • 673,682 Reviews
Hey!
While some poetry goes into great depths and offers insights into human nature and other such topics, this one doesn't. However, that being said, it is a poem about simple things that explains them in a not-so-simple style, which is good! Your description is spot on, and perfectly conveys the parallel excitement and disappointment that comes with autumn. Your use of simple language is excellent and goes well with the theme.
My only problem with this poem is the rhythm. It's okay in most places, but in others, it's just a little off. For example,
"Nature's bracing for cold"
might be better written as
"Nature's bracing for the cold"
so that it fits with the flow of the rest of the poem. The best way to deal with this kind of problem is to read the poem out loud, which generally helps to find the rhythmic discrepancies.
Other than that, great poem!
~Reddy
Honestly, it isn't that good, but I like it. I absolutely LOVE the description. The title sort of fits with this piece, but I recommend a new one. I love it. Halloween, Thanksgiving and then finally Christmas!
I'm lovin' it.
GREAT JOB AND KEEP WRITING!!!!!
~Kat