Life is Hard

tkpejb wrote:Life is hard.
That's the simple way to put It.
But in reality,
There's no other way to put It.Great stanza! short and to the point.

Where we stand,
We might not see,
That It's bad out there.
Bad as can be. These two lines are a little awkward, Maybe a different word than bad?

We all pretend,
Like It's great out there. out where? be a little more specific. (ex: in life, in the world)
Like It's a story,
And all is fair.

It is life.
That's just how It goes.
So make the best of It,
Because It is hard.

Okay first thing I would like to say is that you did a great job on this poem. Next thing I would like to say is that it didn't really appeal to me very much. It was a little bland. And something that everyone and their mothers have heard and wrote something about. If you want to make it pop out to some people more I would suggest adding a little detail into it. Make it something that you would enjoy reading. Something unique and beautiful. Something radiant and full of passion. You got to make more of an effort to make more people interested in your work. I'm not trying to be mean, I mean I thought that the peice was great and all, just it could use a little splash of awesome in there somewhere.

tkpejb wrote:Life is hard. Simple and to the point. I like you. And not in the lesbian way.
That's the simple way to put It. Ooooh, more simplicity. But maybe you shouldn't cap the 'I". It looks a little weird to me.
But in reality,
There's no other way to put It. Again with the "I". And I noticed that you have a rhyme pattern in all your other paragraphs, but you really don't have one here. Saying "IT" twice isn't really a rhyme, and it breaks the flow you have in the rest of the poem. It also makes this work feel underdone and sloppy. You might want to change that.

Where we stand,
We might not see,
That It's bad out there. Why do I keep seeing these "I"s?
Bad as can be.

We all pretend,
Like It's great out there.
Like It's a story,
And all is fair.

It is life.
That's just how It goes.
So make the best of It,
Because It is hard. You break the rhyme pattern here as well. You might want to fix that.