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140,582 Literary Works • 673,538 Reviews
And... now there is nothing to critique.
LOCKED.
that was deep.
=]
I don't know that this classifies as full Non Fiction. It doesn't quite hit the mark as an essay... if you were aiming for essay-length, I would give this a full rewrite, as Saint suggests. Otherwise - this might be better placed as a Lounge topic?
*flags down moderator for a second opinion*
This seems more like an outline than an actual piece of work, my friend.
First of all, you don't back anything up, which leads to propaganda. Do some research, cite your sources, all that jazz. No one will listen to you if you're just spouting things.
Secondly, this needs organisation. You jump from one idea to the next without elaborating first. Expand more with your research.
Thirdly, you seem to have a very consistent trend of posting things like this. When do you ever see published works like this? It doesn't happen, because it's not what people want to read. I recommend writing as if you were planning on publishing it. It makes a world of difference, even if it's just something completely random.
-St. Razorblade
The Official YWS Pirate