This is what you'll never see...

Hello.

I really liked your poem. The title was really nice and it made me want to read it. So good job there. I got the feeling it was a poem for someone, but the someone would never actually get to see this poem.

I liked your use of description, it was a beautiful way to create very strong imagery. I don't think I have any criticism for you. Keep writing because this was great!

Deanie x

sunxkissedxme wrote:My body is covered in the pain I've had to endure.
But my soul carries so much more then you'll ever see.

Shredded and torn beyond recognization, *recognization is not a word... try 'fixation' or something like that
my tattered soul lies in pieces.
Invisable wounds to never heal. I think u mean *invisible
My soul's fraying edges flutteringin the memory of what once was. *fluttering in

My heart is blackened and broken,
but hidden behind bars of bone.get rid of the 'but' it makes it look choppy, maybe even change 'hidden' to 'concealed'
These thingsI hide well,*things I
my facade almost unbreakable.
These are the things you'll never see.