All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
and for us to be together to never be apart.
No one else in the world could even compare,
You’re perfect, and so is this love we share.
We have so much more then I ever thought we would,
I love you more then I thought I ever could.
I promise to give you all I have to give,
I’ll do anything for you as long as I live.
In your eyes I see our present, future, and past,
by the way you look at me I know we will last.
I hope that one day you will come to realize,
how perfect you are when seen though my eyes.
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139,558 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
This sounds like something I would write to be perfectly honest XD
I like the emotion throughout this, it keeps a steady balance of happy, which in these tends to become more and more goofy as the piece continues. Though, thank God, due to the fact that this is a shorter piece, the goofy factor is kept to a minimum, and the feeling is actually quite genuine. Yes, I will say this is quite sappy, but it's not over-the-top, due to the fact, again, it's quite short, and that it seems you do have a grasp of what it does actually feel like to be in love.
Now, I will say that you could maybe expand a bit on this, though to do that, you may want to think about doing a free-verse version. I say this due to the fact that I'm personally a fan of free-verse, as it's not as strict, and you can get some more out of it than your typical rhyming poem. But, that's just opinion, honestly, this stands well as a rhyming poem. It does so, but without being annoying, nicely done
Good
~Maddie
Hey Blimey, I am here to review your wonderful poem here. So in the second line of the first stanza ", and for us to be together to never be apart." I think there should be a comma in between the two phrases there. So I know romantic poems/ or romantic literature in general can be a bit cliche, and are hard to make it unique. So I like the rest of the poem, I think it is perfect and you shouldn't change it, but I think you should add more to it. Describe why this love is so perfect, and describe what he does or says, to make it so perfect to you. This I think will add a lot of personal touch to the poem, and it will overall make it better. I hope this helps you in some way. Keep writing more!
- HSarver