Scented fart
Madhav
and riya have been married for 10 years, this is their 10th
anniversary and they are walking to a restaurant near the ocean.
Madhav
– you
know your ass smells like shit.
Riya
– Well technically shit comes out of ass, so it’s only natural
that asses smell of shit. Unlike yours of course, your ass must smell
of scented candles. You sick fuck, what were you thinking with that
candle.
Madhav
– I
was trying to find my G-spot you know, I read that in the women’s
digest that scented candles can be pleasurable if they hit the right
spot.
Riya
– They
were talking about its smell you moron! and by the way do men even
have a G-spot? Don’t you guys cum when the wind kisses your dick or
when you see a train going into a tunnel or when you see two
homosexual dogs fucking, or when you see a bra-strap or like when you
see a woman’s thigh or like her bare back, her uncovered skin in
any form don’t you guys like automatically ejaculate?
Madhav
– Hey!!,
give us some credit, we don’t automatically ejaculate. We have to
work for it, we have to touch our dicks, caress it gently till it is
hard and ready to spit and then we let loose this whole process takes
about a minute, depending on the part of the woman’s body that got
us excited this time period can be shortened significantly.
Riya
– How
can you be so calm and slick, your wife just caught you shoving a
burning scented candle up your ass, you pervert and it’s our
anniversary, instead of fucking me you prefer getting fucked by a
candle. I haven’t had an orgasm in forever and you are fucking a
candle you sick bastard. What kind of twisted porn do you watch,
chicks with strap-on, bondage, sadism, horse fucking blondes.
Madhav
–
Well I haven’t checked out horses and blondes but my favourite is
granny with tranny. But bare-back ebony also gets me off. By the way
whose fault is it that we haven’t had sex in three months?
Riya
– It’s
your three inch dick that’s at fault here, how can anyone be
satisfied with it, it’s like a limp noodle and noodles are already
limp. I should have fucked you before marrying you, say was this
affair of yours with candles still going on before our marriage?
Madhav
– At
least I can still get my noodle dick up, you have lost all your
interest in sex because of your drinking, you are always drunk, you
still are. What kind of example are you setting for our 7 year old
girl, why don’t you go to those AA meetings?
Riya
–
Big talk coming from a candle fucker, and if I want to be an asshole
why would I do it anonymously, I live my life on my terms and I don’t
want to listen to those whiny bitches at assholes anonymous.
Riya
– And
if you are so concerned about our daughter, why don’t you send her
to a nicer school, you sit at home all day pretending to “write”
all this while you haven’t even sold a single one of your “short
stories” there’s no money coming in. we are living of my salary.
I am supporting the family while you do nothing, what do you do all
day?
Madhav
– I
gather inspiration.
Riya
– By
watching candle porn?
Madhav
– Would
you let it go already, I was trying something, it didn’t work. I
thought we could try out new ways to you know, get intimate.
Riya
– ”get
intimate”, what are you a 15 year old girl? What are you going to
say next, that the candle took your flower. Grow a pair on that
noodle and say fuck or sex or boing or bone, you know what next time
refer to the “intimate act” as fornication its much sexier.
Riya
– We
have been walking for 20 minutes
where
is this restaurant?
Madhav
–There
it is, and can you please be civil with rahul and rhea, please don’t
ask them to swing with us, and please lord please don’t ask the
size of rahul’s dick
Riya
– I
will just rhea if she blows rahul before or after anal, like the
sequence of their sexual moves.
Riya
and madhav enter the restaurant, and meet rhea their childhood
friend.
Rhea
– Hey
guys happy 10th
anniversary looking sharp.
Riya
–
Well we didn’t dress up because we were going to ditch you guys and
have sex in the ladies washroom, and also because madhav is out of
work at the moment and we can’t afford washed and ironed clothes,
all the more reason to have sex in the washroom. Will you guys join
us.
Madhav
– Thank
you rhea and rahul for this lunch invitation, we can’t really
afford food right now as you know riya has a drinking problem and all
the money goes into feeding her addiction.
Rahul
– Wow,
you guys don’t hold back. How are guys holding up, your marriage
seems to be on shaky ground.
Riya
– Now
I just invited you for a foursome and you are insulting my marriage,
that’s rude.
Rhea
–
Stop you guys, stop bullying rahul.
Madhav
– Say
rahul how long is your penis, just out of curiosity, can you fuck
yourself with it?
Rahul
– I
am out of here, you have a nice time with your friends.
Rahul
walks off.
Rhea
– You
guys, can you for once be nice? Why do you act like this?
Riya-
Well
because we don’t want your pity you bitch.
Rhea
– Then
bye, assholes.
Rhea
storms out.
Madhav
– What
a nice lunch, such nice people, we should do this again sometime.
Riya
– Why
did you go along with it?
Madhav
– Well you are a sarcastic cow, but you are my love, and it is a
lot of fun to unleash like that, I can see why you do it. And I
haven’t been the best husband lately.
Riya
– Are
you kidding me? You are the most romantic person ever, you have rose
scented farts.
Madhav
and riya exit the restaurant and start walking along the ocean.
Madhav
– Yes,
let’s take a walk along the ocean.
Riya
– Why
do you think we are still together, I mean I am a bitch, and you are
a self-effacing, small-dicked, candle fucking, out of work writer.
What works between us?
Madhav
– Well
maybe I am spineless man who needs a spine, and you are a bully who
needs to feel powerful, so you keep me around.
Riya
– You
really think so?
Madhav
– No
I think its janvi that keeps us together.
Riya
– Yeah
me to.
Madhav
– And
I think we don’t have sex anymore because we find it boring and
pointless, like there is nothing left to discover within each other,
and within ourselves.
Riya
– Too drunk to find another reason, so agreed.
Riya
–
How long do you think this marriage will last?
Madhav
–
10 years maybe.
Riya
– Make that 20, we have to stick around until the kid has her own
problems to deal with.
Madhav
–
Agreed.
Riya
–
Let’s get a drink then, seal the deal.
Madhav
– No,
you go get drunk, I have to pick janvi up from school.
Riya
–
Oh yeah right on
Madhav
enters a grave yard and puts down the lilies on his daughter’s
deathbed.
Madhav
– Hey jan, I know you are mad at your mother for driving with you
while drunk, but that accident wasn’t her fault. I hope you can
forgive her, she still thinks you are alive, probably because she
never saw your dead body. She won’t forgive herself, she appears
tough but she is scared and vulnerable. I will take care of her, I
know you loved her, take care kid.
Riya’s
phone rings, her mother is on the phone.
Amma
-
How are you and madhav holding up, today being the anniversary and
all, it must be unbearable today.
Riya
–
Yeah, the boor bastard thinks that jan is still alive, he just went
to pick her up from school, I don’t know when will he stop blaming
himself for the accident, it wasn’t his fault, I should have been
in the car with jan, but damn vodka I was passed out. And he had to
get her. He never ever saw her body maybe that’s why he thinks she
is alive.
Amma
– Let
him take his time, all of us heal differently.
------------------------------------------------The
end------------------------------------------------
Points: 31420
Reviews: 414
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