Silver Metal
Red and Blue knives
Take them back
The red is sharper
Take them back
The blue is duller
Take them back
The red is more efficient
Take them back
The blue requires more effort
Take them back
The red is the color of blood as it drips, crimson
Take them back
The blue is the color of my tears as the cut is dragged deeper, forever deeper
Take them back…please…
Together they cause pain, together they take away pain
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140,075 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Ok, here for a review!
There's some stuff that I have noticed...
First of all,
"The blue is the color of my tears"
Tears are actually colored silver and not blue, and if it was actually colored blue, it would be better to remove the "the" in the beginning.
Second of all,
"Back...please..."
Very minor, but add space! Back ...please.../ Back... please...
And that's it! I really enjoyed this by the way!
Hey restlessheart!
I must say, I really enjoyed reading your poem, it was exceptional to read! I loved the way you have structured it, how every second line is the same, which brings the reader to the attention of a serious theme.
The symbolism was very deep, meaningful and reflected raw emotion, which expressed the sad realities of stress and depression. I think you have done well in this regard and it is very admirable and is to be commended, my friend!
Your understanding and style of showing how stress and depression feels is truly magnificent, you are a talented writer and I look forward to reading your future works!
MissLyricz x
Hi, I'm here to review your poem~
I know that feeling!I thought it was an interesting insight on the feelings of depression. I never would've described stress and depression better than this! I feel like everything you said corresponds to the things I am experiencing daily.
The ending is true in so many levels!
I love poems like this that are not too straightforward with its readers. It makes me feel reassured that other poets can read ideas in other perspectives, and that's nice.
Wow, this is hard to criticize. I'm not much experienced in the field of poems.
That's all I have to say, happy writing~