Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,679 Literary Works • 672,647 Reviews
It's a good poem, let's out pent up feelings in a soft, undertoned poem.
But, the spacings may be too far apart. It's also kind of unnecessary too. I think it should look like this:
I love you. Remember that.
I probably won't come out
of the waiting abyss.
Won't come out alive.
I am so afraid and scared
of it all.
But I don't admit it.
I want to die as bravely
as I can.
I want to die a brave man.
I love you.
Remember that.
I think it looks better like that! It may not be needed but it looks better.
It is really emotional and heart touching and I think you could do better if you fit this into a song.
Really my first impression was that this was the beginning of a song!
Good job and keep writing!