Picture perfect

Hey, phoenixwriter!

Euph here to review your poem! ^-^



I must say, I love the way you set the image of society wanting everyone to do things a certain way, demolishing the idea of being unique.

Just a few quick things..

“I cannot speak at the pace I like, 
for you think it's too fast despite

how other kids act, and it's just like me
and I guess if all do this, do you want us all to be...”

If I were you, I would make that one stanza to complete the thought, for each other stanza finished a thought, and this one just breaks within the center.


“You hate the way I sing,
since in your head it jangles and rings”

After head, you might want to put a comma to adjust the flow of the sentence..


“My friends comfort me when I'm blue
since I can't be me in front of you”

You might want to say
“My friends comfort me when I’m blue
Since i can’t be myself in front of you”

In my opinion, this flows better..

Lastly, instead of
“I'm sorry that I'm not what you wanted me to be-
picturesque perfect, oh all flawless me.”

You might want to say
“I'm sorry that I'm not what you wanted me to be-
picturesque perfect, oh I’m just all flawless me.”

Overall, I like that you set the image of how the perfect person is set to be like in society’s ‘mind’, and basically said that you don’t care, and how you will do things your own way. It set the idea of standing up to society and that you like your so called ‘flaws’. It was a great read, and I would love to read more of your work. Keep up the good work, and never bow down!

Hope this review helps!