Let me cry

Paula, rigward l-ahhar vers: ''for the one I truly love''. Xtaqt nigbidlek l-attenzjoni li tul il-poezija kollha m'hemm ebda hjiel, referenza jew xi haga li timplika lil din il-persuna. Deux ex machine biex niftiehmu.

Bghattlek, hawn isfel, din il-poezija. Innota kif il-kelma ''kokk'' tidher fit-tieni vers u l-ahhar strofa. Innota kif il-kliem ''dlam cappa'' jintrabat ma' ''fond tal-foresta'' u ''l-iljieli''.


F'kwalunkwe poezija, il-qarrej, b'xi mod, irid ikun ippreparat ghal xihaga li gejja, fi kliem iehor.



Irrid il-qamar

Hekk kif jilmħuna
għajnejn il-kokk jitberrqu.

Jien bil-kemm nagħrfek
fid-dlam ċappa li jkebbek.

Iktar ma nimxu ‘l ġewwa
iktar nagħrfek aħjar
fil-fond tal-foresta.

L-iljieli tiegħek
ma jidhrux giddieba.
Dejjem bla qamar.

Posti mhuwiex mal-kokk.
Għalhekk ninfatam minnek.
Irrid il-qamar jiddi.

Hey Molly here to review. First off, happy review day! I like the poem, you expressed your feelings in a perfect way that was so in depth p, but easy to understand. Your words have one message, but many meanings. S many people could relate to how you felt when you were writing this poem. I appreciate the amount of emotion that was put in t the poems to make it five times better, which I didn't think was possible after reading it. ANYWHO. I loved the poem overall and thanks for reading my review as I look forward to reading more of your works. Happy review day and keep writing!
-molly

Hey Paula,

Dreamy here to review. I liked your poem. The feeling you expressed in this was easily adaptable. I can relate to your poem. The words that you used were so simple, and the simplicity I liked the most. Though I must say that colour changing was not really a good idea, you could have changed your writing pattern like in quotation or in Italics. Why I'm telling you this is because you can't say that this facility is available every where you go. But I really appreciate your try for being innovative. This was a very simple poem with strong emotions and I liked it. Keep up your good work.

Keep writing!!!

Cheers!!!

First of all, great job. This poem is really powerful, obviously written with lots of emotion behind it. It makes me ask questions, which is a really good thing for a literary work to do. I almost don't want to edit it, because I feel like you can't fix emotion, but that is what I'm here for, so I'll try not to change it too much.

No. I can't even. I love it. It kind of makes me want to cry? Yeah. Feel better. This sadness makes me sad, no matter how beautiful on paper.

I really enjoyed this poem. I've been reading a lot of dark poetry, and this was a perfect poem for me to read. I just didn't understand a few things.

I saw that on phrases

"I want it all to be an illusion

I want my eyes to leash out the tears

maybe that'll drain my helplessness away.

But no, I can't, I can't cry." and others are in blue. Why? I don't think it adds to the poem or embellishes it in any way.

I also don't think the phrase "as if the big bang is flashing inside it." added to the poem, it sounded a bit clichéd.

Aside from that, I thought it was a beautiful piece and had great use of language. It was clean, simple, and STILL elegantly used. I really felt your sense of pain and depression through your words.

Overall, it was a great piece.

Alex out!