I hope you enjoy reading this!! Reviews and comments are highly appreciated!
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For about the millionth time you tell me,
“Speak to me, what’s wrong sweetheart?”
Don’t you know how much that scares me,
When your words used to be my art.
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I used to hang onto them so freely
Never doubting any part
But now those soothing vocals
Keep lingering around
Showing me your clueless eyes,
tearing me with fierce emotions
That splinter my own heart.
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The same heart that once was tough
Seems to me like fine glass
That feels cold from the outside
But I swear its warm inside.
You would never know though would you?
No, you’ll never know
Cause you made it become too fragile dear,
Too fragile to even touch.
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Yet, you’re still here asking,
“Speak to me, what’s wrong sweetheart?”
Everything is wrong my love
But how could I ever tell you now,
That I miss those secret little smiles
Which were tied to my own heart.
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That’s why when your lips started weakening,
And your eyes started shielding
Terror immediately hit me.
You still tried to pull hard upon my heart,
But dear, you pulled too hard
Tearing up the rope
and drifting us both far apart
I wanted to freeze time back then
When I sensed something was up
But nothing got frozen except the layer of my heart.
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So no, my love I can never say why.
Cause I’m scared to get farther apart
And get thorns into your heart
That can never be pulled out
Without leaving any scars.
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So, the only words I’ll always say
When you say those words again
Are just, “I’m fine”
Letting you close your eyes
And drift away.
-
They say lies hurt
But sometimes,
Just sometimes,
Truth hurts more.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Paula, ghadni ma ghamilt xejn hlief naqra l-poeziji tieghek ghal darba, tnejn, tlieta!
Il-lirika nahseb hija l-forte tieghek. Jien, talanqas, l-aktar li toghgobni.
Hi! there paula08
..
With this poem you have voiced out the concealed emotions of those who lie and sugarcoat their true feelings to make the persons they love kept away from hurt. That they'll endure the battle they have built against themselves. Which was emphasized in this stanza:
But, then, they say that you must gradually tell what your really feel because it hurts— all the more, to suddenly burst out and make the gap between you grew even bigger. Making both of you feel miserable than before. So open up because that's why you have entered that relationship, it's not only one who works it out but the two of you.
Your poem can be seen not only a boy-girl relationship but to other kinds of relationship, as well..
Keep writing
I noticed that you had hyphens between the stanzas, and had to ask, "Are you having trouble with your formatting?"
If this is the case, try pressing SHIFT before you press ENTER. It usually works for most users who also have had this problem. And by most, I mean practically all of YWS has had this issue at least once.
I think that you really did a good job with this work.
The ending was really painful and true, and I could feel that. I love it when a poem makes me feel something.
It made me remember a quote.
"'I'm fine.' is the biggest lie a girl will ever tell."
You certainly captured the essence of that quote here. It's really, really good.
Happy Review Day!
~Teen~
First off this is extremely relatable and you did an incredible time. It looks like you just took the story of a lot of relationship and made Perfection. I enjoyed deeply how you kept repeating your fear of telling your love what was wrong. I also enjoyed how you described your heart or the speakers heart and how it was like fine glass thought that was a really nice detail. And when you said your last line, " They say lies hurt
But sometimes,
Just sometimes,
Truth hurts more. "
I felt that tied everything together because the speaker was absolutely right in that sometimes the thing you want to hear the most can hurt you more than the thing you didn't want to hear if that makes sense. I really enjoyed how you write and drift away. as if the speaker have been moving farther and farther away through the poem really nice touch. I see no mistakes or grammical errors so well odne. your stanza and lack of rhyme helped out to your advantage. Over all well done.