Young Writers Society

Nice and simple. Easily relatable. Nice formatting for this kind of poem. I don't get why you didn't use commas. It would be easy to get misconstrued about that. (haha) I also hate it when I am misunderstood. It is terrible for everyone. It is a pretty good piece all in all.

You know what, I liked this!
It has a certain rhythm. You have the soul of a poet.
I'm not...sure exactly what this means, but I have a feeling it will stay in my head, and so I'll have time to mull it over and think about it. Art isn't always about clearness, especially poetry.
I get a firm tone of a sort of...pleading denial, which isn't very attractive, but is deeply honest, and I appreciate it.
some tweaks I would make:
In the line 'contemplating on my actions', you could take out the 'on', because it's completely grammatically correct to do so, and besides, it gives an even better rhythm.
the word, 'misconstrued', is a hard word. it doesn't fit in with the simplistic language that's used otherwise. Although maybe it IS the right word, I'm sure you can find a synonym that means the same thing, and also doesn't make readers pause over the word and look up the word in a thesaurus. 'Misunderstood' is a little clunky, though, so I get why you would avoid that one. How about 'misread'?
So, I liked the relatable perspective that this gives, and the honesty. And, as before, it has the true rhythm of a memorable poem, and that's rare to find on this site.
Happy writing! Hope this helped!
~Satira

I'm sorry for how long it took me to get to this, but I want you to know that this is still the first thing that I've reviewed all april so. I'm here to fulfill my WRFF duties!!

Alright, so you have a poem here, that I feel probably comes from a really personal place.
First off, I like your title, but I don't really see its relevance in the poem? Maybe I'm just not making connections and seeing the metaphor, but I think it's a little bit too hidden of a metaphor.

Secondly, along those lines, I'm not really sure what this is all about. We have a first person, a second person, and a third person (I, you, and she), but I'm not sure what their relationships are to each other, other than the second person seems to be accusing the first person, and the first person just envies her a little. To me, the relationships sound like a mother chastising her child for not loving his or her sister. But I really don't know. And I feel like that relationship is kind of important in the poem. The words hold no meaning when I don't know who's saying them to whom about whom.

Next, about those words. Even if I did know the relationship, I'm not sure that they would hold much meaning. The only really interesting word you have here is "misconstrued," which I'm not sure fits all that well? It sticks out of the poem like a sore thumb. You have a ton of monosyllabic words, and a couple words with two syllables, and two words with three syllables. That makes your poem read as very... elementary. Sure, it means that everyone can understand it, but I took no real pleasure in reading it. I think the coolest thing about poems is when there is imagery that puts a picture in your head, and then the picture relates to something more abstract and hard to explain. This poem was very straightforward, and if that's what you were aiming for, then that's good, but I think you should aim a little higher. c:

The poem starts out and ends with the assertions that the narrator isn't crazy, but that would lead me to believe that somewhere in the middle would be something that would make me think that the narrator is crazy. Instead, I get a poem full of very common emotions. I would never think that person was crazy. They're just a human.

But you see I don’t,

not bad

Hello paula. Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this, but I'm finally here to give this the review you requested.

With that said, this poem was very simple, and not in a good way. There was no imagery or complexity to the ideas presented, and the thing is, at the very least, you could have developed the ideas in this a bit more. There's a hint of possible development with the narrator being unable to hate "her", but the reasons for that are not expanded on; it winds up being just a throwaway idea that appears once and just disappears from the poem.

Additionally, with how short and literal this is, the repetition of the "I'm just misconstrued." line feels redundant rather than giving that line a greater sense of importance.

As it stands, there's a lot of ideas that are presented (such as the narrator doing things that could be seen as making her a "bad girl", why she might be seen as crazy, why she cannot hate "her", and how the narrator is "just misconstrued") but never shown or expanded upon. If you were to show these things and tie these descriptions into each other so that each element of showing lead into the following elements, this would be a much stronger poem from a technical standpoint. Showing these things would also help ground the poem more concretely, which in turn would help make this poem resonate more strongly with your audience.

Right now, this piece is so vague and general that I don't feel anything reading it.

Hello! I'm here for a review. Now, I don't review.poetry all that often, but I hope I can still be helpful.

First of all, in general I really quite like this poem. I can definitely relate to it, especially the part about being mad at yourself for being jealous of her. I also really like the last stanza.

There is one thing I'm wondering, though: Was the formatting completely intentional? And what was its purpose? I'm just not seeing a reason here, but then again I'm not exactly the most insightful when it comes to poetry.

So, let's talk about the actual content. Overall, it seems like this girl is desperately trying to persuade someone, and even herself, that she isn't a bad person, even though she envied this girl who seems so much better than her. In general, you did this pretty well, but I would like a bit more character development here. I mostly just want details - what makes that girl so much better than the protagonist, at least in the protagonist's eyes? And what are some of the protagonist's other flaws? Basically, what drives her to feel this way?

Also, this line sounded a bit awkward:

Contemplate on my actions

hello

What a thoughtful piece of poetry ! The structure does indeed make it more appealing, but the meaning is bold and true. It shows our emotions as people nicely and accurately. It's rather simple,but with that you have made a decent point.

Nice work !

hey thar,
first off, I am quite fond of the way poetry is formatted ( like Dumbledore and knitting patterns). yours is pretty sweet. how did you do that?

as for the actual content, its pretty solid. I understand where you are coming from, I have some friends that feel the same way about others.
If I remember correctly from the creative writing class I took two years ago, poetry is an out-pouring of the soul, so while there is absolutely different forms and grammar to judge your poem against, I like it the way it is.