Na main tere liye, na tu mere liye
Zindagi jiyun ab khud ke liye
Humsafar ki zaroorat nai
Na tere liye, na mere liye
Toot gaye woh saare wade
Toot gayi woh sabhi kasmein
jodun bhi toh kiske liye
Na tere liye, na mere liye
Waqt ka pahiya ghoom raha h
Soch rahi thi thaam lun issey
Par rokun bhi toh kiske liye
Na tere liye, na mere liye
Dil ki tamanna ko mara
Rokar khudko maine sambhala
Aansun pochun kiske liye
Na tere liye na mere liye
Kadam badaya dehleez paar ki
Chodh kar tujhko khushi de di
Firse aaj ajnabi ho gaye
Sirf tere liye, bas tere liye
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,795 Reviews
Hii nishthabawa2896, hope you are doing fine...
Sweta here... It's a beautiful poem but a beautiful meaning... You did a great work..the beginning and the ending is amazing... I like the ending part more though...it has deep meaning. There nothing much to say all I can say is this is a nice poem and writing in Hindi is amazing. Great work keep it up
Hello sweta! Thank you for appreciating the work. I will be coming with some more of these. I write only express the true feelings so that a person can relate to it. Hope you liked it.
I liked it dear... And I do want a world in which we girls did to feel so. And we have to make that world ourself.
Hi Nishtha! (or Nishthab?)
This is hiraeth here for a review on this very lovely poem that you've written.
So, let me first comment the structure of this poem: it was very skillfully written, you played your pauses perfectly, you maintained a uniform rhythm throughout the piece; and this might be redundant, but i'm gonna say it again: This was indeed nice to read.
Also, i like how you kept this poem in your mother tongue without bothering for a translation: It shows confidence in your culture, and pride for your heritage. Though since this is a majorly english-website, it would probably not be a bad idea to give a translation (i'm not partial to either decision, just stating a fact).
I must add, though, these lines are pretty cliche, (cheesy, you know what I mean?); mostly every hindi love song has one or two of these lines. So take some one who speaks HINDI (looks nowhere in particular) does read your poem; she would actually have come across nothing new, just old notions revised and rewritten in a new way. So i think you could work on your originality, although it IS a fact universally acknowledged that heart break is the same for everyone.
Lastly, I love how you ended the poem! At the beginning, the narrator was speaking as if he/she has given up on love, that she/he no longer cares. Thus, she says "I don't need no soulmate; Neither for you, nor for me." And then in the end the narrator admits that he/she is STILL in love, that they still care, he/she says: "I left you and gave you happiness, Today we've become strangers again; (i did this) just for you, only for you.
keep writing, keep inspiring!
Hello hiraeth! Thank you for reading my work. I try to be real in my work and I believe that love or heart break has no language. It's always the same for everyone. I am glad that you took out your precious time to read my work and review it. I will try to rectify the things you suggested.
Hi, nishthabawa2896!
This is a really... Dramatic poem. I love it!
It MAY have made ONE tear come to my eye. (I said it MAY have. I did NOT tell you if it did or did not. XD)
Keep on writing!
~Liberty500
Hey Liberty500! Thanks alot for such kind words. I am really touched by these words. I hope, you could feel the meaning which I wanted to describe. Thanks again
No problem! And, yes, I felt it.
Hey Nishthabawa!
This isn't a language I'm greatly familiar with so forgive me for any misinterpretations.
This poem has a beautiful solemness to it. The first four stanzas create a very gentle portrayal of the suffering of the two people involved, but the final decision in the end comes quite suddenly and I love how you've used repetition to create that change. That last line kind of hovers in the air so that when I read it the second time it felt like the focus was on the sacrifice rather than the suffering. It had enough impact to changed the colour of the poem and that's one of my favourite things in poetry.
I can't really say much for the specific language without overstepping my own abilities, but the theme and flow of this are really nice. I think my only criticism would be to be more careful with the translation into roman lettering. I think this is written phonetically in part? But a more standardised spelling would make it easier to read.
I enjoyed this. Thank you for posting =]
Hey, just a small note. I’d love to review this, but I don’t speak Hindi, and Google Translate can only translate a few lines. What would be great is if you included and English translation. Thanks!
Luke