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Mystery Box

by nanda


"Mystery Box" -Its the word that describes our lives perfectly. We never know what's coming up next. Isn't it that makes this word "life" so alluring? Mine is a prosaic one with no worries or concerns. But it wasn't always the way it is now.

I've always believed in one thing-enjoying each and every moment of this life and filling it up with happiness.There was a time when I was quite fond of making friends. I made friends, in fact ,many friends. But what remained vacant was the place of a true friend. I faced betrayals, selfishness and criticism from my friends. I started crying over myself and my fortune. Slowly I started drifting away from the people who love me the most-my mummy and daddy. But they never gave up on me. Their love and affection helped me change my perspective towards life and I learnt that I wasn't a symbol of negativity.

They taught me a lesson of  life that "Don't fear the enemy that attacks you but the fake friend that hugs you". It was from them that I learnt that it is not necessary to have friends until and unless you find a really faithful one.

Today whatever good I profess is the consequence of all the positivity I've acquired from those who taught me the art of living every moment of life. So be positive, spread positivity and have patience. Something good is certainly hidden for you in "the mystery box"!


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Wed Jun 03, 2020 9:53 am
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mememimer wrote a review...



Hi, time to review!

Well written! You brought out a warm message along with a lesson to learn.

The course of life you clearly brought out is great; being carefree and naive to witnessing ugly sides of people, heartbreak, distancing and doubting yourself. All in all, the way you took all the betrayal and still chose to have an optimistic nature is too good. This is something that not everyone can do! The article may be short but it has a strong message. Life is a mystery box, yes. It is full of surprises, that adds a thrill to life. The ending was smooth and quite balanced.

One thing you could edit is the following line, as it quite confused me the first time I read it.
"Isn't it that makes this word "life" so alluring?"

I enjoyed reading. Keep writing!

Best wishes,
I




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Mon Jun 01, 2020 8:52 pm
myjaspercat wrote a review...



Hey there,
Jaspercat here to leave you a review.

"Mystery Box" -Its the word that describes our lives perfectly. #800000 "> I would replace the en dash with a comma. Also, and this is mostly a stylistic choice but I would write this piece in normal text and then have the words `mystery box’ be the only ones in italics. This way it emphasizes the importance of it. We never know what's coming up next. Isn't it that makes this word "life" so alluring? #800000 "> I would rewrite this sentence a bit, maybe something closer to; ‘Is it not this that makes the word ‘life’ so alluring?’ Right now the sentence is just a little confusing to read. Mine is a prosaic one with no worries or concerns. But it wasn't always the way it is now.

I've always believed in one thing-enjoying each and every moment of this life and filling it up with happiness. #800000 ">Again I would take away the dash in this sentence. Unlike before though, I think a colon would work better than a comma. There was a time when I was quite fond of making friends. I made friends, in fact ,many friends. #800000 "> I would rewrite this sentence as well. Right now it’s a little repetitive. My suggestion for it would be: ‘In fact I made many friends’ But what remained vacant was the place of a true friend. I faced betrayals, selfishness and criticism from my friends. #800000 ">I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that your readers can already guess that it’s your friends that betray you and what not. There’s no need to tell us again. I started crying over myself and my fortune. #800000 "> I don’t understand why your character is crying over their fortune. That seems a little odd especially because we are talking about friendship and betrayal. Slowly I started drifting away from the people who loved me the most-my mummy and daddy. #800000 ">Again, get rid of the dash But they never gave up on me. Their love and affection helped me change my perspective towards life and I learnt that I wasn't a symbol of negativity. #800000 ">If I’m going to be honest, I feel like this whole paragraph is a little unnecessary and random compared to the opening paragraph. It’s not bad, it just doesn’t feel right

They taught me a lesson of life that "Don't fear the enemy that attacks you but the fake friend that hugs you". It was from them that I learnt that it is not necessary to have friends until and unless you find a really faithful one.

Today whatever good I profess is the consequence of all the positivity I've acquired from those who taught me the art of living every moment of life. So be positive, spread positivity and have patience. Something good is certainly hidden for you in "the mystery box"!#800000 ">The exclamation point should be inside the dialogue tags.



Overall I think you have an ok piece here. I am a little confused however on what the pain context of it was supposed to be. When I read the opening line I was really interested but then it took a turn that confused me a bit. I would like to know how friendship ties in with the "mystery box" of life. Other than that though good job.

Good luck and continue writing.




nanda says...


Thank you very much for your review. I hope to do better and satisfy you in future!



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Mon Jun 01, 2020 6:48 pm
JesseWrites wrote a review...



Hey nanda! I haven't gotten the chance to meet you yet, but Ethan's told me about you.

Let's hop into this.

Okie, this is italicized, which can be good and bad. It depends on the way you look at it. It is commonly used as emphasis, which I believe can fit here. Again, it is all on the readers eyes to decide. I personally like it, so I have you back if anyone disagrees. :)

Warning: This may be short. You have been warned.

I see nothing wrong grammar wise. Everything is spelled right, capitalized when it should be, and punctuated in the proper place.

That's about it.

Have a good day,
Haley x




nanda says...


Thank you so much for your review. I am glad to know that you liked my article. Ethan has become a really good friend of mine.




"The day, which was one of the first of spring, cheered even me by the loveliness of its sunshine and the balminess of the air. I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, revive within me. Half surprised by the novelty of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by them, and forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy."
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein