Young Writers Society

Hi, time to review!

Well written! You brought out a warm message along with a lesson to learn.

The course of life you clearly brought out is great; being carefree and naive to witnessing ugly sides of people, heartbreak, distancing and doubting yourself. All in all, the way you took all the betrayal and still chose to have an optimistic nature is too good. This is something that not everyone can do! The article may be short but it has a strong message. Life is a mystery box, yes. It is full of surprises, that adds a thrill to life. The ending was smooth and quite balanced.

One thing you could edit is the following line, as it quite confused me the first time I read it.
"Isn't it that makes this word "life" so alluring?"

I enjoyed reading. Keep writing!

Best wishes,
I

Hey there,
Jaspercat here to leave you a review.

"Mystery Box" -Its the word that describes our lives perfectly. #800000 "> I would replace the en dash with a comma. Also, and this is mostly a stylistic choice but I would write this piece in normal text and then have the words `mystery box’ be the only ones in italics. This way it emphasizes the importance of it. We never know what's coming up next. Isn't it that makes this word "life" so alluring? #800000 "> I would rewrite this sentence a bit, maybe something closer to; ‘Is it not this that makes the word ‘life’ so alluring?’ Right now the sentence is just a little confusing to read. Mine is a prosaic one with no worries or concerns. But it wasn't always the way it is now.

I've always believed in one thing-enjoying each and every moment of this life and filling it up with happiness. #800000 ">Again I would take away the dash in this sentence. Unlike before though, I think a colon would work better than a comma. There was a time when I was quite fond of making friends. I made friends, in fact ,many friends. #800000 "> I would rewrite this sentence as well. Right now it’s a little repetitive. My suggestion for it would be: ‘In fact I made many friends’ But what remained vacant was the place of a true friend. I faced betrayals, selfishness and criticism from my friends. #800000 ">I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that your readers can already guess that it’s your friends that betray you and what not. There’s no need to tell us again. I started crying over myself and my fortune. #800000 "> I don’t understand why your character is crying over their fortune. That seems a little odd especially because we are talking about friendship and betrayal. Slowly I started drifting away from the people who loved me the most-my mummy and daddy. #800000 ">Again, get rid of the dash But they never gave up on me. Their love and affection helped me change my perspective towards life and I learnt that I wasn't a symbol of negativity. #800000 ">If I’m going to be honest, I feel like this whole paragraph is a little unnecessary and random compared to the opening paragraph. It’s not bad, it just doesn’t feel right

They taught me a lesson of life that "Don't fear the enemy that attacks you but the fake friend that hugs you". It was from them that I learnt that it is not necessary to have friends until and unless you find a really faithful one.

Today whatever good I profess is the consequence of all the positivity I've acquired from those who taught me the art of living every moment of life. So be positive, spread positivity and have patience. Something good is certainly hidden for you in "the mystery box"!#800000 ">The exclamation point should be inside the dialogue tags.

Hey nanda! I haven't gotten the chance to meet you yet, but Ethan's told me about you.

Let's hop into this.

Okie, this is italicized, which can be good and bad. It depends on the way you look at it. It is commonly used as emphasis, which I believe can fit here. Again, it is all on the readers eyes to decide. I personally like it, so I have you back if anyone disagrees.

Warning: This may be short. You have been warned.

I see nothing wrong grammar wise. Everything is spelled right, capitalized when it should be, and punctuated in the proper place.

That's about it.

Have a good day,
Haley x