Cascades of Time (Chp 3)

Chapter 3: On the edge of a turning point

(Location: Phoenix City, House of Elrah, Time: 10:00 a.m.)

As soon as Lucas bought the woman to the house news spread fast. The boys ogled at her from the windows whilst the girls busied themselves by tending to the woman’s long and beautiful locks. The doctor checked and said she was fine although she did not awaken.

Lady Elrah arrived promptly from her three-month long trip and praised Lucas on his chivalry but told him to be more cautious of such weird cases. She left the hospital wing and came across Guardiwar reading her novel. When Lady Elrah set her eyes on the title she frowned.

“What an interesting book, where did you get it Guardiwar?”

“Oh it was posted to me, Lady Elrah.”

“Who is it by?”

“Well….. that’s the strange thing. It doesn’t have an author and there was no letter or indication as to who sent it to me.”

Lady Elrah eyed Guardiwar with suspicion before walking off. Before long she would see to it that the book would be in her possession. It was a big enough threat that it existed but what was it doing in her late husband’s house?

 

(Location: House of Elrah, Girls’ dorm, Time: 11:40 p.m.)

Guardiwar stirred in her sleep as her familiar dream came to her. But this time there was a different ending. When she fell off her hill she landed in a plane. She turned and saw a man and a woman sitting in their seats and talking whilst almost everyone around were asleep.

The woman had long black hair braided down her shoulder. She wore a short skirt and tiny top that barely concealed her ample breasts. Next to her was a handsome man who wore a loose shirt unbuttoned to below his chest revealing his muscular chest. He had dark brown hair and tan brown skin.

“Max, you know I hate planes. Why couldn’t you have come by boat? See, now we have to listen to people snoring and the driver said there might be rough turbulences.” whined the woman as she clutched onto Max’s arm. He seemed unfazed. The woman became slightly irritated. She clearly was not used to be ignored by men.

“Max what if we are going the wrong way? You fly half way across the world based on what that guy told you! What if he was lying?”

Finally Max spoke. His voice was calm and collected but a deep rage existed within.

“He was not lying. I can tell when they are lying. There is no doubt about it. The trail leads to Phoenix City. When we get there we will find Crystal.”

Suddenly Guardiwar was falling again but this time she woke up. It was almost morning. This was the first time she had slept through most of the night. The dream was a strange one she thought. It felt real as if she was there but how could that be?

 

(Location: Phoenix City, Central Police Station, Time: 9:30 a.m.)

 Police chief Quitor (Quit-tar) sat on the desk as he listened to his colleague.

“The illegal racing is reaching an all-time high. Two nights ago the Red Dragon raced the Flying Arrow right through the rush hour in central city. There are more complaints than ever. Something has to be done now. We need a higher budget on the operations…. Uh Mr Mayor”

Quitor and his colleague stood up abruptly when they saw the mayor approaching. He ushered them down and took a seat. Mayor Silver Burn exchanged polite introductions with them before getting to the point.

“I know about the illegal racing issue. Two nights ago there were almost three accidents because of them. One of them was a powerful politician. So now I am under a lot of pressure to stop this mess. The racers are very skilled drivers so to this date there have been no actual accidents but they have no right to risk others’ safety on their skills. Plus them driving the opposite way of traffic causes way too many jams for my liking. I have been delayed to three meetings this month already.” bristled Mayor Silver Burn.

 “I am glad you heard of this Mr Mayor. I was just about to forward this case to your attention,” replied Quitor.

“I see. Well then its time you two learnt something: something that only high ranking officials ever learn. We will be referring this case to the Cyber Dean.”

Both policemen looked confused. The mayor continued regardless.

“The Cyber Dean is an illegal hacker who owns an illegal network. He can hack anything and knows lots of information. The government has been trying to catch him for years but they have failed. Regardless at the same time they often use his services. People refer a case to him and he charges them a particular amount before solving the case.

“This is not common knowledge. Now that I have told you two, your names will be listed by the higher government. It’s a big secret. Anyhow I am going to channel this month’s entire budget on crime handling into solving this case. I am sure Cyber Dean will be able to find us some clues as to the identity of the Red Dragon. After all the Red Dragon is the racer who originated from our city. If he is taken out then he won’t be inviting illegal racers from other cities like the Flying Arrow.”

The two policemen sat with shocked expressions. But Quitor rose to the situation and began plotting out the operation immediately. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little fascination at the existence of such an interesting criminal. The Cyber Dean, I wonder who he or she is thought Quitor. 

 

Comments & reviews · 4
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Good day!

Okay, so her goes my review, hope it comes to any use.

Technical stuff

As soon as Lucas bought the woman to the house [ comma] news spread fast


The doctor checked and said she was fine although she did not wake [I'm not quite sure about it, though].


She turned and saw a man and a woman sitting on their seats and talking whilst almost everyone around were asleep.


She clearly was not used to be ignored being men.


Plot

The plot is developing. you have started giving us some sort of sense. The hacker dude might seem cool and i Hope I see much of him in the next chapters ( He can be that supporting character who cracks jokes once in a while)

Not much more for me to say, I'll progress to the next one now.

Puck

Sorry about the last nit-pick. it's supposed to be,

She clearly was not used to being ignored by men.

User avatar
Noelle
Comment

Hi there!

Well, I don't have much to say about this chapter except for the fact that bit by bit you're drawing me into this story. I liked it from the beginning, it grabbed my attention in the first chapter, but now I'm starting to see everything piece together and I'm excited. I want to know more!

Sorry for the review, or lack of it really, but there's nothing I could find to say about this except for it interesting me. Alright, onto the next chapter.

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

I like the idea of the stree racers, that sounds like it could be exciting.

I still have trouble figuring out what this Crystal person is or why that chick is reading books and seeing visions and all that, which I'm pretty sure is vital to the plot. Maybe you should work on explaining some of that first before you go off onto a side plot of streetracing. It's just that it's been 3 chapters and I still don't know what's going on. Sure, you might be building up to something, but I'm sure there would be a lot of people like me who would like some explanation first.

And since you said you weren't bothering with the punctuation right now, I just figured I wouldn't bother correcting all of it xP If you need help though, go ahead and ask me.

User avatar
flossybunny
Review

And now I am eager for a fourth Chapter.... I love that it's coming together a bit more now which I was slight worried might not happen soon enough! I like that you've returned to Lucas to start with because I think some readers may have started to forget about him if you'd not linked him in at this stage. I think the second section flows smoothly from the first, slightly breaking your pattern from previous chapters but I don't think that is in any way a problem. There's only a a few minor structural changes you could make to sentences but I don't think they're huge and you'll probably pick them up while proof reading. I think it was an interesting twist that Max appeared in the 'dream', it was a good way to start building up a plot!
The third section was also a good way of trying to link previous sections together and I think it fulfilled it's purpose in the chapter. I'd perhaps review your choice of vocabulary and structure in the Mayor's speeches to make him seem a bit more important e.g 'he can hack anything and knows lots of information' could be changed to 'He is extremely skilled as a hacker and has a large knowledge base in his possession'. Then again, the way he speaks could be a representation of the character himself!
Alas, I enjoyed reading it and look forward to the next installments! :D



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