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125,007 Literary Works • 672,816 Reviews
Ah, agnostic eh? I was convinced for a long time I was agnostic, and still kind of am, but I am leaning more towards nihilism. I think your exact same thoughts at a young age (my Dad was ordered by my Grandmother to raise me Catholic), just sitting there with nothing to contribute. I felt worthless. I have decided that not only do I disbelieve in God, I also don't trust Science. So I don't have much of a belief in much. However, I think you articulate very well your ideas. It isn't just about meaning, but you also pull it off in a very poetic and beautiful way. I really love the ending stanza- it rings true, at least for me.
I am now officially a fan. Lemme know when you've posted more.
I'll give a disclaimer that I personally am a Christian, so although I can't relate to your poem I can still appreciate it. There's a lot of emotion in this poem, and very few grammar mistakes if any, also as far as I can see all the lines fit really well together. The poem had wonderful balance of dialogue, narration, imagery and emotion. The 4th stanza seemed a little out of place but, I guess it illustrates the Preacher's unreliability to the congregation. In the second to last paragraph you could maybe move the "is" to the 3rd line. Good Luck, have a good day!
~Alliyah
Thank you! The only reason I had the "is" on the second line, was since these are haikus, the only way I could get that line to have seven syllables was to have the "is" there. If these weren't haikus, I would definitely have had the "is" moved down
Thanks again!
Oh my! I love Haikus and completely missed that they were Haikus!, I guess that's what happens when you review early in the morning :/ Now it all makes sense! Your welcome.