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i must say i love this poem, there is a perfect flowing story with a moral lesson to be learnt. Very inspiring. I like the imagery you used to paint a picture it was awesome. From reading your poem I got the idea that being an orphan is a bad thing, that you end up fighting for attention and that you may end up killing to get it, ever oneself I didn't like that part. but other to that punctuation, vocabulary and sentence construction is good. amazing work. keep up the good work!!! and keep writing
That is amazing! you should make a story out of this!
I was actually thinking about doing that
DUDE. This was super-intense! I'm sitting here thinking "whoa, someone is thinking outside the universe that the box is existing in."

I like it!
Thank you!