June Sky Blues

I like this. I don't love it, but I like it a lot. I personally think that it isn't lacking creatively, although structurally it could use a little work to create some sort of flow from line-to-line. It is dry and course, but that's almost a style I wish that you'd pursued even further, and I think that if this was given more backstory it would be even better. So consider lengthening it, perhaps? In any case, I liked this poem. There's something genuine about it that really resonates.

Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

I think I understand it but I won't say and start a debate. I think it well done although the wording could have a wee bit more structure. I do like what you have put in there, but I have trouble clearing the fog away from the meaning, and the ending. It is a little bit of a cliff hanger, I like it but it is hard for me to understand.

Farewell, and good writings!

jimdandy.

Hmm I really don't know exactly what to say about this piece I can easily tell that this is from the heart but when your an author no one really looks at that. Trust me I know this form previous experiences. So back to your poem it's a little dry and could use ahold hosing of. Not that I'm saying it's horrible because it isn't just look to be more creative with your work.


Hope you take me making corrections ok...

Sincerely,Mislady

Hmm I really don't know exactly what to say about this piece I can easily tell that this is from the heart but when your an author no one really looks at that. Trust me I know this form previous experiences. So back to your poem it's a little dry and could use ahold hosing of. Not that I'm saying it's horrible because it isn't just look to be more creative with your work


Hope you take critisum well...

Sincerely,Mislady