hey there pretty
girl
the one with the white
smile,
the blonde
hair,
all of the
friends.
you seem so
happy.
every day, you get
up,
brush your
hair,
put on your
makeup,
get dressed.
you fool everyone with that
pretty face.
the rosy
cheeks,
the blue
eyes.
but I
know.
I know what lies
beneath.
at the end of the
day,
you take off the
mask.
you become
you.
no one's
looking,
so it's
ok.
you take off the long
sleeves,
revealing the
scars.
the scars of everyone that's hurt
you.
years before, those
wrists
had been
clean.
now they're
dirty.
covered with all the pain of
life.
later tonight, you'll add to that
filth.
you'll walk over to the
drawer,
open it, and pull out the
blade.
you'll carve your body, hoping to gain
control.
but you
don't.
you've tried for
years,
never seeming to catch
on.
it's become a
habit.
hey there pretty
girl,
the one looking back at me in the
mirror.
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139,447 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Wow, Michael. That was just...beautiful. Raw and emotional and a bit disjointed but beautiful. This had a fresh perspective, an unexpected (if sad) twist ending, and honest emotional weight. Keep it up! You've got a huge talent in poetry! =)
thank you so much!
I love, love, love poems that leave its readers with a sense of mystery and angst. It shows the true beauty of a girl who is struggling with her self confidence and it's sad because many people feel trapped behind the mask of outer beauty... Loved this poem!!
Oh my gosh, that was a beautiful. I try to capture that emotion in my writing but I never truly can. This is one of those poems that you can't say there is something wrong with it. So I am just going to say random words that describe this poem. It was amazing, awesome, spectacular, lovely, kind of dark but in a good way and many, many more.Don't stop writing. You have a gift use it! Looking forward to any of your work.
I must say that I really liked what you were writing about. It really gives an intensity to your work.
But, I must be nit-picky...
I'm not really sure about how I feel about how you broke the lines up. It felt, well, a little broken. I really think you should keep the lines together, so "Hey there pretty girl," for example, would be one line, not two. The breaking of lines makes the poem unique, but not very smooth for the reader to read.
Really nice and sweet, truffull and to the poiunt....really like it!!! rock on !!!
This is really gorgeous!
I love the short, sweet lines - some other dramatic poetry seems to make everything so long and confused, wheras this is very fresh, and also more brutal for it. I love the fact that you use fresh, simple language, which really hammers home what you try to say.
Keep on writing!
Aww! Thanks for the comment! And yeah, I should have made capitalization, just wrote it randomly
Thanks again!
This was an amazing, amazing, amazing, so many amazings poem! I loved it so much and the only thing I'd change is the capitalization of the words, it's kind of odd reading a bunch of lines that don't start with capitalized sentences or letters for that matter. I can relate to this poem in so many ways it basically is me. I'm glad you posted this poem, it's heartbreaking and yet says so much all in the lines..great great job and I can't wait to read more of your poems, or any of your writings!