Young Writers Society

Hi Ina!

I'm glad to read another poem from someone else. I personally think that poems capture emotions. Whether it is a happy feeling or just really sad. Sometimes, while doing something, a random idea pops into your head that could lead to a nice short poem like yours.

It doesn't rhyme, but that's fine 'cause not every poem rhymes. Your use of words is very precise and you managed to create a vivid image in your readers mind. Both long and short poems are interesting, but they each tell a different story.

I enjoyed reading the poem from the very first sentence to the last.
Speaking of the last sentence, I also used that sentence in one of my short stories on YWS called Everything into Nothing. I've been thinking about continuing it, but I still need to work on a plot.

Anyway, I must say, your work is incredible. Keep on doing what you do.

Have a great day(or night)!

Me,

Rose

Hello!
This passage appears to be a dark and disturbing reflection on the speaker's experience of inhaling gasoline, which has caused them serious harm and possibly death. The language is simple and direct, with a focus on sensory details and physical sensations.

The use of repetition, such as the repeated reference to "gas" and the phrase "my poor," creates a sense of emphasis and urgency, underscoring the seriousness of the speaker's condition. The sudden shift in tone from the first stanza, which describes the smell of gasoline as "strong" and "gray," to the second stanza, which describes the speaker's hospitalization and impending death, is jarring and unsettling.

Overall, this passage is a stark reminder of the dangers of inhaling toxic substances and the potentially fatal consequences of such actions. The author's use of sensory details and repetition creates a sense of immediacy and urgency, while the bleak and hopeless tone adds to the sense of tragedy and despair.

Approved by the Corn Dog Enthusiast Association

Hey there! Here with a quick review.

The work starts off with a typical scene at the gasoline station and ends up on the death-bed, sure it took a big turn by the end. It's funny how the lead went up getting air from ventilator after smelling gas from the gas station. There seems to be minor mistakes, maybe they're mistakes made purposefully or really typos. What I like about the poem is the humorous interpretation/irony of smelling gas causing the death. Although I'm confused with the message, does it carry any message or is it written just like that. I guess this one is a soft humored poem. Good work!

Hey! Forever here with a short review!

First things first, this poem had a very natural flow which I really liked, except in a few places. First od all,

Smelling gas

Was the wrost moment

Of my life

Hello! This is Foxmaster!

First of all, I really liked this! It was really funny! You really put a positive spin on poetry. Also, it was really original. I liked the cover. Did you make it? Or did you find it? It's also funny how just the smell of gasoline practically kills the main character.
Buuut I did find a typo:
Was the wrost moment
I think you mean worst.
I also really like how she (or he) blames the gas for dying.

That is all! I liked this! But could you please review my work! Thanks!

-Foxmaster

Hey Quill here for a quick review!

things I loved
First off I love the imagery and hidden meaning in this. I love the way that at first it seems like you are talking about a person, poisoned by the gas. And maybe that is the intention, but I love the way that it can also be read that the intention may be more about the planet or a "mother nature" sense.

Maybe it is the planet overwhelmed by the fumes. Or maybe it is a person, was it intentional poisoning? I love the open-ended interpretations this has!

Places I feel the poem could grow
Fist off I would maybe take a look at the formatting and read it out loud. I find the way lines broken up adds a few unnecessary pauses. But if you have specific meanings for this or other reasons for keeping it, feel free to! These are just my personal opinions.

The next is just a small typo that I thought I would point out. When it says

'Cause if gas

Was the wrost moment of my life